Greetings! The Greeting Card Podcast

This week's card is almost as sweet as getting divorced at the Cell Phone Museum! Join Bobby, Dan, and kiln-obsessed art teacher Ms. Gravesite as they take a verbal walkabout with Negroni wizardry, American-sized beverages, and staying true to their promise that all they really want to talk about is candy! Later, they rate and review a card that is only tolerable when chased with a litany of kiln...

Hey folks, it's been a bit, and we know you're excited, but the good and virtuous people over at Greetings do NOT encourage you to do a shot every time we say the word "daddy", unless you enjoy being passed out at the 20 minute mark and missing your tennis recital! Join Bobby, Dan, and confused ghost writer Biff Hagrave as they take out the old scrapbook and swap fond stories of hot root beer, wet...

A Blue Raspberry Breakup A Pink Lemonade Lament A Strawberry "Sorry About This" Whatever your flavor choice may be, we hope that your tribulations are nothing but tasty (and we guess other things)! Joinh Bobby Taupin, Elton Dan, and Dan Failinggym as the pick at the proverbial bones of gentleman's toast, edible greeting cards, and hiring audience scabs who are also pro-union! Later, This singer-so...

Let down the sails and memorize the ancient scripture, because our second Installment of Bob Voyage! is sure to be a GrandMitzvah! Join Bobby, Dan, and West Point Dramatist Art Kards as they sail over the bounding main with such topics as The U.N.'s gift shop, Italy's new Greeting Card Association, and the fact that Dan can't remember where the Hell Bobby was for about 2 weeks! Later, these jet-se...

We're baking like a toasted cheese, and there's no better way to beat the heat than with some anthological card-hashing! Join Bobby, Dan, and onion figurine enthusiast Old Man Brimshine as they make verbal mincemeat on topics like the Bugs Bunny cryptid, recycled Ouija Boards, and how each host would take down a bunch of teens at a lake. Later,  the lads look over lovingly at the past 12 cards, wi...

What a disgusting miracle, this episode is! And just in time to be very late for Father's Day! Join Bobby, Dan, and viceroy Nute Gunray as they "rock" on with such topics as the lost Gary Marshall classics, bootleg video dreams, and modern Dad tropes #gamerdad. Later, these neanderthals rate and review a Father's Day card-slab from Fill Phlims that will leave you feeling like a stone-age idiot! It...

EDITOR'S NOTE: We had a little audio trouble on this one, but the laugh and the love are as abundant as ever, and if having a cool, refreshing can of Fanta while listening to this episode doesn't help, were you ever going to like it? Even with Fanta?!   Sometimes your favorite thing is 2 things! Join Bobby, Dan, and special guests Andy Bogatko and Karen Boyle (Kandy, as they're known in the scroll...

Bobby's back from travels abroad, and while there may be rust on our bones, that can't muffle the screams, er, songs in our hearts! Join Bobby, Dan, and Nissan Tobleroni as they dust off the cobwebs on topics like traveling desires, bad zoo-keeping, and Bobby's endless cow charms! Later, the lads rate and review a card from across the pond that wonderfully encapsulates a very specific and potentia...

Oh, what, you're too good for a Mother's Day card review nearly 2 weeks after the holiday? Some child/listener you are! Join Bobby, Dan, and Western film star Clayton Gammy as they storm the greeting card congressional floor with angry math, Maya Rudolph bots, and a less-than-lengthy-but-more-than-cursory-glance look at the trending hashtag #bestcardever. Later, the lads rate and review a card tha...

The perfect episode for you remedial Ding-Dongs™ who are just looking to coast until the sweet follicles of summer fall gingerly onto your stupid lap! Join Bobby, Dan, and the entire cast and crew of "Dracula Loves Beck" as the shake and shimmy while discussing Hungary Water, National Smell Day, and those gross double-walled plastic glasses with goop in 'em that most likely defined a generation. L...

An episode that's slightly early for Möthers Däs, but wouldn't you rather be prepared for it for ONCE in your ungrateful life?! Good Answer, we guess! Join Bobby, Dan, and burgeoning entrepreneur Michael (aka Paul) Slameroni as they jabber on about their cool moms, pizzapathy, and dangerous traditions involving child chefs! Later, these sons rate and review TWO cards that made Dan want to pull the...

Best listened to in the parking lot of a Charby's, shortly after they mess up your buffalo onion slider! Join Bobby, Dan, and great Uncle NestEgg as they go on for FAR too long about 500 Days of Summer, Paul Blart, and 2007's Funny Games! Later, they rate and review a card that proves it's worth as a sure-fire way to waste 20 seconds of the lives of your friends and family! Catch the magic!   The...

It's time to count your blessings on a veritable mountain of egg-beans! Join Bobby, Dan, and Saltine Dungeon Caleb as they Jib and also Jab on Spring holiday card expectations, jellybean company ranking, and unnecessary celebratory jello consumption! Soon after, the lads rate and review a card that'll make you want rev up the ole soft-serve ice machine, if only because you've got some mistakes to...

How Long Can YOU Last in the Company of Someone that you Love? We like to think you ponder that every time you open this Hellraiser box of audio! Join Parsons Bobby, Dan, and Crinkle as they waste the school board budget on mushy peas, Industrious Susans, and Viagra Day, pretty close to the worst day of the year! Later, the scholars rate and review a card suitable for good Band or bad Spanish!   J...

Hope you're not too far on your high horse, cuz this week's all about SHAME and we feel great about it!(?) Join Bobby, Dan, Aunt Glrn and Dr. Larm as they trip the light mediocre on topics like indie greetings cards with contemporary references, the politics of celebrity prayer candles, and why Dan detests fandoms so damn much! Later, our hosts review a real no-legged pony of a card, really bringi...

Hello, Maybe How Are You? Hope you got your date to the Som Prom, cuz it's time to brine your brain! Join Bobby, Dan, and the entire cast of the Family Fugue as they pitter and also patter on postcard definitions, jokes on transcendentalism, and Dan having 0 ability to remember a single celebrity's name! Later, the lads rate and review a card that gives us hope, but not for any reason that helps u...

All the Gogurt points in the world couldn't stop us from delivering an episode chock-a-block with recaps of greeting guts and glory! Join Bobby, Dan, and Fred Algae as they burn the mid-evening oil on aqua zoos, Schrödinger's Squid, and whether or not George Westinghouse was British (he was not, Dan would learn upon writing this paragraph!). Later, the lads rate and review 12 cards that run the ga...

Hope you've all recovered from your phat baby love hangovers, cuz Greetings is hellbent on providing one more clinically-approved dose of "Everybody Loves Raymond"-style amore!   Join Bobby, Dan, and Mr. Hyunh in all his country glory as they spin a yarn on Midsommar invitations, planning stuff way too far in advance, and the hierarchy of obligation chocolate. Later, they rate and review a card th...

Sometimes love is just the place where you are, because it's convenient! like this episode you dang done downloaded!   Join Bobby, Dan, and the 4 Beatles of the Apocalypse as they fill the ancient scrolls with tales of the seasonal Fat (or Phat) Love Baby, Russell Stover Choco-Hearts, and the totally-still relevant One-Chip Challenge! Later, these fools rate and review a card that at best paints l...

The best fact-adjacent podcast that you'll half-listen to on the train, or car, or cool futuristic train-car!   Join Bobby, Dan, and their children's book-author friend Christine Chance-Boon as they chew the fat on consuming eggshells, the natural life cycle of irony, and the most romantic song in "The Mask". Later, the gents rate and review a card that doesn't need an infusion of frog DNA to do t...

Almost as fun as slumber party gravy Limbo!    Join Bobby, Dan, and an unnecessary manifestation of Lil' Abner references as they go through the z-list January holidays found on nationaltoday.com. If you've haven't celebrated Menudo Day (not the band), you probably are aware of what you're missing! After that mess, the boys rate and review a card that brings up WAY too many memories of Valentine's...

If only J. Harvey Kellogg was alive to see what Hell we've wrought!   Join Bobby, Dan, and their autographed copy of "Miami, Plain and Tall", as they scream to the heavens on giving up on things, demonic after-school snacks, and the current state of Bobby's inhumane podcast factory! Later, they rate and review a card that is perfect for anyone who is in 6th-8th grade! Otherwise, stick around, beca...

More fun than getting struck by lightning a bunch!   Join Bobby, Dan, and bodega cat Hennessy Bathtub (The undisputed Bad Boyz of greeting cards) as they ruminate on convenient store guilty pleasures, lottery limitations, and how Bobby knows way more about the Hellraiser franchise than most bears! Later, they rate and review a card, though they spend way more time talking about how they would cons...

Time to emerge from the holiday chrysalis and be born anew!    Join Bobby, Dan, and Scared Nogless guest speaker Derek Gargle as they chew the metaphorical fat on old new year grudges, the post-Jan.1 Dead Zone, and why a certain seasonal dairy drink isn't available in snak paks. Later, and most bombastically, they rate and review what must be the rock bottom of greeting card humor, so rest assured...

Hop in the 2001 golden Honda Odyssey and look south to Florida, cuz Greetings is greeting the new year with everyone's favorite quality: willful ignorance! Join Bobby, Dan, and their corn-silk effigy of St. Uncle as they widdle and waddle on their greeting card hopes for 2023, and how cards, like maize, have an ancient, mysterious past (most likely). Later on, they rate and review a card, and I sw...