Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

A special presentation of Wholesome. It's about Dungeons & Dragons. You can subscribe to Wholesome on Patreon .   Get a thing at podshop.biz! Sign up for our mailing list! Music by Adam Ragusea   Support the production of Greatest Trek Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Bill Tilley appears to ask Ben and Adam some hard-hitting questions from the Friends of DeSoto, f/m/k becomes issue one. But after Bill repeatedly crashes his 1987 Plymouth Turismo, the guys start to wonder if they should push him out of the driver’s seat. When will Ben reach terminal levels of Josh? Will there ever be another Borgs storyline? How much of Ben and Adam’s business acumen is bit...

When the stakes couldn’t be higher for the crew of the Cerritos, Relga shows up and starts serving Star Trek V energy. But when the nearby Schrödinger field creates quantum fuckery on both sides, Malor’s irrigation-based solution turns the angry red hole into a beautiful gateway. Does Relga’s lack of boob window convey something specific about her character? Which words are we no longer comfortabl...

When it’s time to check back in with Captain William Boimler, he’s lost his love for hunting quantum fissures and he’s fed up with derivative multiverse characters. But when a two-pip Harry Kim shows up on board the Anaximander, it’s an alternate Mustard Mariner with the engineering skills to save the day. Who enjoyed colonoscopy prep more? When did movie trailers change forever? What’s the name o...

When everyone on the Cerritos is suffering from main-character syndrome, a day in Captain Freeman’s life starts looking so much worse than just paperwork. But when Ransom tricks some ensigns into cooperating on their assignment, the senior staff have to fight off the Clickets in time for an anniversary dinner in Paris. Whose body is on the bridge between two major gastronomic events? Which ensign...

When an away mission to a pre-warp planet is complicated by a time dilation, Boimler’s beverage-related accident puts the away team in an Inner Light situation. But when Tendi finds a purple Data head and gets him doing voiceover work again, the competition for Chief Science Officer on the Cerritos creates a power-supply arms race on the planet. How often is too often for taquito night? What shoul...

When another problem ensign gets assigned to the Cerritos, Mariner becomes personally invested in her success aboard the ship. But when tedious diplomacy boils over into an all out shape war, Olly gets her mini redemption arc while Boimler learns the wrong lesson about just being himself. Which November thing is this story a metaphor for? What are employees in the post-scarcity future not as into?...

When the Cerritos has a navigational breakdown in Cetacean Ops, the only option for emergency repairs is a trip to Starbase 80. But when repairs start going in the wrong direction and a supposed curse has the crew licking walls, Mariner starts to see the station in a different light while Captain Freeman gets stuck in the maintenance labyrinth. Which brand of breakfast cereal is kid rejected, moth...

When Mariner gets sent to Qo’noS to secretly scan season 5’s serialized plotline, she looks up Ma’ah and offers to help him regain his station. But while Boimler uses the letter of the law against the Klingon oversight council, Tendi and Rutherford expose the fraudulent Cloacan tasters aboard the Cerritos to save Dr. Migleemo’s career. Which song has the potential to cause a Peloton injury? How fa...

When the Cerritos arrives at a cruise ship in space, the team get assigned pest-control duty while Boimler gets yoinked for a side quest with Ransom. But after Mariner left an uncharacteristic loose thread with Jennifer, her tagging along for one final mission leads to finally having the talk . What’s the main thing you need to be able to do in a casino? Why does the AWOL Admiral resent milking sp...

When the Orions fail to diversify their booty-based economy, Tendi and D’Erika end up in the middle of conflict that really rocks the boat. But when the Orion Pirate Queen proposes a winner-takes-all regatta, Tendi is willing to risk her family’s fortune to play mother to her sister. If not clip show why clip show titled? What type of ghost would Adam be? Are buffalo blasts now canonical Trek? It’...

When the Cerritos gets sent to fill in a space butthole, the ship gets dunked instead and finds a slightly different versions of reality inside. But while Tendi is trying to leave leave pirate culture better than she found it, Rutherford from anotherford Motherford demonstrates how not to handle missing a friend. Which vocal warm-up does Terry Gross use? What does tragedy plus time plus Rishon Uxb...

When a special guest gets to pick this week’s movie, it’s a perfect 80s time capsule with a sad situation on the penumbra of an adventure. But after the Goonies spend a week at the waterpark with Steven Spielberg, a completely different protagonist actually saves the day. What did the 80s contribute to the Commedia dell'arte? Do all Amblin films take place in the same universe? Why doesn’t Astoria...

When the whole 2001 aftermath has Roy Scheider assuaging his guilt with a wrench, an unexpected offer to join a Russian mission to the Discovery is too tempting for him to pass up. But when he finally gets to space and war breaks out on earth, the two crews have to work together in pursuit of an unambiguously happy ending. Where does Helen Mirren fall on the scale of Russian accents? What’s the cr...

When a grieving therapist gets a call from an astronaut, he cancels all of his appointments to go triage the psychological situation. But when he arrives at Solaris and learns firsthand about the visitors, he can’t get on board with killing his dead wife twice. Who wants you to get faded to Bolivian liquor? Which type of sci-fi movie is this? What’s the worst part about a spouse coming back to lif...

When an emergency medical spaceship receives a distress call, James Spader’s boring deep-space work release job turns into a sexy color-timed adventure. But when the crew’s Captain dies in a freak nude-tube accident, taking over command means defeating the universe’s most basic villain. Who was the luckiest cast member? Why will Ben be a big hit at the senior home? What is this horror movie trying...

When the guys need to select a second movie for their film festival Adam forgets the one rule he set for himself, no blockbusters, and chooses a T-Rex sized smash hit. But when the special effects start jangling its keys, Ben and Adam are so distracted by shiny jeeps and dinosaurs that they forget all their movie mandates. Is the flutter real? Who said it best, Muldoon or Lecter? Did Jeff Goldblum...

When nobody invited Ben and Adam to program a film festival, they decide to go rouge and put one together themselves. But after Ridley Scott’s sci-fi classic almost gave them both a seizure, they’re more prepared to see the franchise’s latest release at the theater. What isn’t practical to bring aboard the Nostromo? Who can sit with both jocks and nerds in the lunchroom? How does Robert Altman’s A...

When Commander Adama gets pissed at the President, their game of civilization chicken spurs a mutiny in the fleet. But while Starbuck’s side quest reveals exactly who is pregnant, the rest of season one’s interesting questions remain mostly unanswered. What type of fuel do Raptors use? When should you throw away a toaster? Who had the weirdest day? It’s the episode that‘s a little too incurious. G...

When Boomer stumbles on an inhabitable planet, President Roslin’s hyper-religious pivot starts raising eyebrows on the Audrey 2. But while Dr. Baltar encourages Boomer to take herself out, Starbuck hatches a plan to blow up the damn basestar. Who was giving long shrift at STLV?  How good could a Mission Log party be? Where are all the song sequels? It’s the episode that identifies the second dumbe...

When the Quorum of Twelve doesn’t stick to President Roslin’s meeting agenda, she pulls Dr. Baltar close in order to keep Tom Zarek away. But when a mystery man gets interrogated after bringing a ceramic gun to Rex Manning Day, his death in custody raises questions about about the Tigh’s luxury getaway. Who is not represented at podshop.biz? What does Star Trek Prodigy deserve? Which part of anarc...

When the Audrey 2’s low-fuel light comes on, the fleet sends out Raptors to search for tylium ore. But when they find a Cylon base in the way of their objective, Starbuck learns how to delegate so Apollo can carefully blow up the damn refinery. Does Assistant Cousin Greg have a last name? Who has the reddest shirt on Battlestar Galactica? What’s one good thing about Elosha’s job? It’s the episode...

When Dr. Baltar finally produces his Cylon detector, suspicion at the top delays the first set of test results. But when a surprise reunion pushes Colonel Tigh off the wagon, an unexpected new element sours the comedy broth. What’s not very practical aboard the Audrey 2? Does this story propose a new reason to keep #datgap? Has Ben reached his Baltar saturation point? It’s the episode that’s not k...

When the fleet catches a Leoben on the Gemenon Traveler, Starbuck gets assigned to interrogate him with an extremely specific bucket. But after President Roslin wakes up wet from one too many NyQil dreams, she hears Leoben out before returning to Commander Adama’s position. What doesn’t belong on a postage stamp? Where did H.R. Giger get all his ideas? Who definitely deserves a swirly? It’s the ep...

When a Number Six shows up on Audrey 2, she provides Dr. Amarak’s prescribed evidence that Dr. Baltar blew up the defense mainframe. But when Lieutenant Gaeta gets assigned to Project Magnify and Enhance, a desperate conversion to monotheism starts Gaius on both a redemption arc and a new method of Cylon detection. How does Boxey like his PB&J sandwiches? What has Grace Park never had on this show...