Goop Yourself

And we're back! After a three week hiatus, Aggie and Bryan have a LOT of goop to cover. We talk everything from cult documentaries to kimchi parties, from beach totes to ancient civilizations. We also discuss goop (and Dr. Steven Gundry's) strongly worded rebuttal to a certain hater (the gynocologist who said jade yoni eggs might be more poisonous than tomatoes.) Can you imagine the nerve! Thanks...

Unfortunately Bryan and Aggie are unable to record a new podcast this week, so we've dug up our very first, never released episode of Goop Yourself from way back in May of 2016. Listen to baby Aggie and baby Bryan talk about pourover coffee and anger management. We also thought describing every outfit sold on Goop would be riveting audio. Live and learn. Stay tuned for a brand new episode next wee...

Aggie and Bryan argue about fanatical excerciser Tracy Anderson. Is she an aspirational goddess or a weird crackpot selling eating disorders and weird protein bars? Probably both. We also discuss how toxic mold poisoning might be prevented by tearing your house apart and following a paleo diet. Plus, $60 vibrational stickers NOT endorsed by NASA, complicated conditioning regimens, and a trip insid...

Aggie and Bryan report back from (reading about) In Goop Health, the Goop Wellness Summit unleashed on the tragic white ladies of Los Angeles. It's as insane as expected, with aura photography, collagen martinis, and yoni eggs galore. We also talk about the benefits of hypnosis, Jean approved face wipes, $4500 cooking classes, and why we're all drinking water completely wrong. Please rate us five...

On this short and sweet episode of Goop Yourself, Aggie and Bryan discuss how toxic cotton is giving flight attendants hives, and the rest of us cancer and autism. We explain why clean risotto is great, why clean 7-layer-dip is tragic, and why Jean Godfrey June is the Sean Spicer of the Goop Administration. We also touch briefly on Gwyneth's truly bizarre appearance on Jimmy Kimmel and give you a...

This week Gwyneth forces Bryan and Aggie to confront their personality disorders. But pretty much everyone's a narcissist, right?? We also learn how to safely consume coffee, trust the mystical wisdom of old racist ladies from Laguna Beach, and shop for Father's Day (a $1000 leather ice chest and a copy of On The Road.) If you like the pod, please rate us 5 stars on iTunes and follow us @goopyours...

This week goop debuts the most boring sex advice column the world has ever known. This, coupled with a truly basic guide to "colorstrology" makes for a dud of a newsletter. On the plus side, we teach ourselves ESP on our iphones, Aggie delves into the world of mineral sunscreens, and Bryan come out as basket non-binary. Don't forget to rate and review us on iTunes, and follow us @goopyourself on i...

It's wedding season which means spending thousands of dollars on people you used to be friends with and will barely ever see again. But if you read goop you're super rich anyway so who cares! Aggie and Bryan suffer through terrible groomsman and bridesmaid gifts and self-explanatory relationship advice, but come out the other side with another fun detox to plunge into. Please excuse the audio qual...

This week Aggie and Bryan discuss goop's passionate defense of their ICONIC yoni egg article from earlier this year. They also talk about terrible Mother's day breakfast ideas, doctors who want to sexually exploit innocent young psychics, and why any kid would want an olive oil bundt cake. Plus, we vow to start wearing more expensive sunscreen. Please follow us @goopyourself on instagram, @goopyou...

Oh boy, it's the week before Aggie starts the goop detox and turns her life around! In the newsletter, Gwyneth ponders the burden of being way more rich and successful than her brother. We also discuss the myth of cellulite, the magic of heart math, and the absurdity of fancy baby food. Plus, a bonus interview with Aggie's baby brother Henry Klapper to discuss their truly twisted relationship. Hos...

HUGE news this week as goop announces a glossy quarterly magazine with Conde Nast, and Aggie & Bryan might have to skip a month of rent in order to subscribe. In the meantime, Gwyneth shills for a straight up cult called Human Design, hawks insane Mother's Day gifts, and has a meatball making contest with noted soulless monster, Jessica Seinfeld. Follow us @goopyourself on instagram!! Hosted on Ac...

Mercury is in retrograde, causing technological mishaps and near-death experiences, so Aggie & Bryan are grateful to be in the safe cocoon that is goop. This week Gwyneth basically makes a sex tape with her favorite Thai chef, and a crazy doctor shames us into a pre-natal detox. We also learn that plants are trying to kill us. Plus, New Age emoji, spring makeup, and a plea for money.  Hosted on Ac...

What's that weird leaf holding the wasabi next to your spicy tuna roll? It's shiso, duh... and you're going to want to slather it all over your body because it's now starring in Gwyneth's new perfume! Aggie and Bryan dissect the new scent - but they would rather talk about fast food, Malibu, and fast food on the way to Malibu. Plus, LA's favorite astrological psychologist teaches us to grieve, and...

On this episode, Bryan & Aggie talk tarot cards, the benefits of walking barefoot, why gen xers are just as bad as millenials, and $5400 bags designed by the Olsen Twins. They also share the disappointment and humiliation of not being included in Goop's podcast roundup. Plus, a handy dim sum guide! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode Aggie and Bryan fear for their lives because Gwyneth convinces them that Advil causes Alzheimers and Zertec causes cancer. The only things that can heal us: apple cider vinegar and fecal implants. Plus, more tips on how to turn your kids into boring nerds, how to prevent your crush from driving you crazy, and how to get drunk at home.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mor...

Spring is in the air and Gwyneth has fancy dildos on the brain. Yes, it's the annual Goop Sex Issue!!! In this extra long episode we go through all the old chestnuts (lube, porn, sex cults, messenger bags) and try not to get scarred for life. Plus, we have a very special boots on the ground interview with Joanne Rucker, Bryan's mom and a first time Goop customer. Will she be a clean beauty convert...

Gwyneth rolls out her comprehensive health care plan, Goop Wellness, and it is a true gamechanger for our country. Everyone is covered for $90 per month! Everything is included except for doctors, prescriptions, ER visits, Western medicine... it's vitamins, little packs of vitamins. We're all going to die very soon.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Goop gives us an essential oil primer and Bryan and Aggie are into it. Things they're not into: childish phonecases, unflattering jump suits and cringeworthy TED Talks. We can all agree - TED Talks are the worst. Plus - Gwyneth poses on a swing, and Aggie gives us an exclusive glimpse into Ask Jean's past.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hilarious actor and writer Jeff Hiller (Nightcap, 30 Rock) shares his intimate stories of working with Gwyneth after we ply him with Trader Joe's Rosé. Then we discuss the week's very depressing newsletter, touching on addiction and codependency, Alzheimer's prevention, sexism in the workplace, and $1500 caftans! FLOSS OR DIE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we discover Gwyneth doesn't know how to use a pressure cooker, but some women are so damaged they're scared to even go near the kitchen. The solution: talk to some crazy lady in Pasadena who will tell you to slice a banana and DANCE. Also, why chocolate is a vitamin, why addictions are like imaginary friends, and why do we keep listening to what these clearly insane people have to say? H...

Gwyneth teaches us how to throw an Oscar party inspired by classic Hollywood, i.e. the late 90s. We also discuss taking Vitamin D by the fistful, learn how to prevent face oil from exploding en route to Tahiti, and discover that feeling empathy is the biggest indicator of personal failure. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After Gwyneth's political rant last week, she retreats to the snowy cocoon of Park City and white privilege. Bryan and Aggie loathe the concept behind 'Thug Kitchen,' but they'd still try their cocktails. And will Valentine's day never end? Not until Goop dives into the psychological astrology of long term relationships and tries to convince us avocados are aphrodisiacs - because of their shape (a...

Gwyneth finally gets WOKE in a strongly worded letter about diversity and inclusion, and Bryan and Aggie have very different takes. She continues her foray into radical feminism by burning her bras (because she's sad about an ex-boyfriend.) Oh well, small steps. We also learn how to layer in winter and plan our own deaths.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Valentine's Day comes earlier and earlier every year, so get ready for bunny ears, feather dusters, and a million types of body oil. After Bryan and Aggie finish vomiting, they talk about Danielle Steel books, tattoo removal, and what a Medical Medium really does. Meanwhile, Gwyneth continues her Red State listening tour by going to Milwaukee, Philly, and Memphis. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...

This week, Aggie and Bryan learn what smudging is and get really excited about it. They also find out that everyone is full of toxic yeast caused by being fat slobs, and debate the merits of buying foam rollers, trampolines, and floral tinctures that help with self-esteem and baby making. Plus, is Gwyneth trying to sabatoge the podcast by not delivering the Monday newsletter to Aggie?? Probably no...