Going Terribly

So Bob Barker's dead. And for once, we had nothing to do with it whatsoever!!! Do y'all think maybe he's been a dead a while, but his publicity team purposely didn't announce it until close to his 100th birthday for obvious $1.00 bidding parallel? Trap, neuter, and return, y'all. Other discussion topics may include: - How many Spidermens was Toblerone McGuire in? - What do The...

There's a really cool segment this week. Doug is the best at making games. And Alice is the best at playing them. But not this time. Has girl ever even heard of 20 Questions? Other discussion topics may include: - Kidney transplant or a Harry and the Hendersons DVD: which is more important to you? - Fantastic food deals, such as $5 hamburgers and free frogs with your packaged spinach - Do citi...

Happy 150 Episodes to us! And who better to celebrate with than not-a-bastard, not-an-orphan, and definitely not-the-son-of-a-whore, Alexander Hellenberg! He's writing a mobster pirate musical! I mean, he's basically LMM himself. Other discussion topics may include: - Giant orange heads and other rashes of prickly misfortune - The continued pitch for future hot spot "Hellaburgers&quot...

Do you ever feel like the world revolves around you? Well, it certainly did for Robert Todd Lincoln AKA The Angel of Death. Come learn of the macabre curse that was responsible (possibly) for the deaths of no fewer than three American presidents! And a Beatle even! Other discussion topics may include: - A celebration of musical legends, like Drew Lachey and Rhea Perlman - Presidential assassinatio...

This is one of those episodes where you'll LEARN ALL THE THINGS! About the invention of the first home pregnancy test, the blood type that most attracts mosquitos, and the deadliest animal in the United States... and no, it's not the mosquito even though it should be! Those buttfaces. Other discussion topics may include: - Ask your personal physician if hitting a deer with a motor vehicle...

Do you ever have a poop, and you look at it, and you just think, damn, that's a nice-looking poop? Well if not, you're missing out! Other discussion topics may include: - Real cool times, featuring frozen blood and scum dances - Dollops vs. Smooth coils: How do you like yours? - The crime busting secrets of national dog networks - Why Snow White has been the true villain all along - How mu...

Alice has actually been away in the Southern Tier of New York for the past two and a half weeks, and we didn't miss an episode! We're just that good. To reward us, listen to Alice tiptoe around why she doesn't like Mexican food. Other discussion topics may include: - The sweetest things: Sugar water, baby churros, and blood - Ignoring the Mandela Effect, but exploring the Ospreay Effec...

It's time for everybody's favorite segment: It Went Terribly! And it's a week late because last week was Independence Day. Or should we say it's "a week before the Ides of July" because the ancient Romans liked to refer to numbers backwards like that? Other discussion topics may include: - Do you have a difficult time controlling your front fart volume? - Recent news abou...

Let's have some real talk about America. The shootings. The jingoism. The lack of 1/4 and 1/3 cup markings on Pyrex liquid measuring cups. Oh, you wanna hear dirty anagrams made out of presidents' names instead? Yeah, we can do that, too. Other discussion topics may include: - How to make enemies with every Bostonian celebrity ever - The weaponization of pepperoni pizza - The origin of the...

SO MUCH SEMI-RECENT SEMI-DECENT NEWS! ICE CREAM! PLAYWRITING! 5 DOZEN CUPCAKES GONE MISSING! AND VOTE FOR ALICE'S 20 SECONDS OF FAME HERE! HTTPS://PORTAL.LANIKAIUKULELES.COM/20-YEARS?SUBMISSION=1445480266 (YOU CAN EVEN VOTE MORE THAN ONCE WITH INCOGNITO BROWSER TABS! BUT YOU KNOW, DON'T GO DOING ANYTHING UNETHICAL...) Other discussion topics may include: - The legendary Filipino onion ice...

Did every 90s band have a song about abortion? And why are they all just objectively fantastic songs? Other discussion topics may include: - Amazing throats, and how they could be a bad thing - The best banana-fish fruit on the market today - Terrible ways to go, such as plane crashes, dying during childbirth, or getting sucked into a chocolate pipe - The new game show craze: Bird Poop or Sunscree...

It's National Forklift Safety Day! So put on those wrist braces and compression sleeves and mouth guards and dental dams cuz you don't want an unsafe incident. Neither the string cheese nor spaghetti kind. Other discussion topics may include: - The eating of each other's sins...and other acts of love - An apology to TBS. With caveats. - Serious medical conditions, such as albinism, nut...

We here at Going Terribly have a history of jinxing beloved celebrities who die suddenly before their momentous birthdays, so to be safe, we have waited until our dear friend, Gennie Adams, was safely ensconced in her fifth decade before inviting her onto the podcast. Let's just hope she doesn't contract a touch of the gonorrhea from the muddy water that she'll be crawling through this...

So ladies, do you ever have a front fart? Like a fart that instead of escaping out the back, burbles up the front? Alice can't be the only one, right? Other discussion topics may include: - Ode to a Korean corn dog - The Federalist Papers. Whatever those are. - Bulletproof wheat, Jewish mac and cheese, exploding cakes, and more things you may find at your local grocery - An introduction to an...

We're trying to boost our ratings by saying incendiary things about beloved personalities. Watch out, Betty White, Ryan Reynolds, Mel Gibson, Queen Camilla. We're coming for you. Other discussion topics may include: - Is James Marsden good enough to be enchanted by? - How to use ears as handlebars (note: only applies to British royalty) - The passing of the flag baton torch - When did the...

Nothing but CRIME happening in this episode. Rat thievery.* Puppy abuse.** Serial killing.*** Other discussion topics may include: - Handheld vegetables and the gloves that hold them - The underrated flavor combination of household cleaner and barbecue pork - How to pepper in some incest to give a story some humor - The latest, tiniest, most gluten-filled member of the 27 Club - Grand Theft Horsey...

It's a lot of people's birthdays today, and they're all EXTREMELY relevant :D And Alice had a classic bonehead misadventure down at the historic Reitz Home Museum Bourbon and Bowties soiree and has lived to tell the tale! It'll make you clutch your pearls and say, "My stars!" Other discussion topics may include: - Games on phones, chips on shoulders, and pinkings on wood...

You know how Alice and Doug generally just talk out of their asses? Well, they do their due diligence and correct their falsehoods too. It's time for Dueling It Went Terriblys! Other discussion topics may include: - A look at that delicious, salty penguin blood - When to take away a kid's Switch. And switchblade. - The vasectomy that ended the Lincoln lineage - How to file with the Nationa...

Have you ever gotten into a frisky time race against the clock in one of those super deluxe car washes that's like a sudsy, frilly rave inside? It's like a Neon Demon fever dream. Other discussion topics may include: - Hoity toity privileged (possibly cowboy) butlers - Explanations of important pieces of history, such as Del Amitri and Ultimate Chicken Horse - Season recap of Law and Order...

This week is a short one because Alice is dead and Doug is dying, and what's gonna happen to the podcast?! Would any of y'all step up to host? Who are we kidding, there's probably a line of you a mile long, vying for these coveted spots. Right? Right??? Other discussion topics may include: - Coffee Monster vs. Coughie Monster: Which is scarier? - The birthday of superstars actress Mint...

Wouldn't it be interesting if both Abraham Lincoln and William Shakespeare didn't know how to read or write until they were 16? Well, it's not true, so don't go spreading it around. We could get sued! Other discussion topics may include: - A game that literally came out of the bathroom - The legend of former U.S. President Bill Hank Harry - As the NBA playoffs get going, who's...

It's time for Dueling It Went Terriblys! We're switching up the format with a livelier, more interactive, tit-for-tat (heh) segment on all the mistakes we've made in the past month. On the podcast, and in our lives. It's sobering as hell. Other discussion topics may include: - Ride share inconsistencies, such as stopping for gas or finding a dead body - How to earn a dishonorary do...

What's your favorite pasta shape? What would you put on your vanity license plate? Would you ever perform a midnight blood ritual to help your roses grow? All these scintillating questions and more in this week's episode! Other discussion topics may include: - The sanitary dangers of reading smut on a plane - Infamous Satan worshippers...such as Ralph - The absolute waste of being a vegan...

In this lexicographic episode, we learn the meaning of newly minted dictionary words like deadass and cakeism. We also cover some St. Patrick's Day trivia. Yeah yeah, we're late. So sue us. Other discussion topics may include: - How to tell how angry someone is just by smelling them - The pinnacle of Halle Berry's Hollywood career (spoiler: it's The Flintstones) - The understandabl...

Daylight Saving Time just ended. Who has time to read a description? Let's just do some more alternate episode titles! Two French Futbolers in a Tickle Fight Two Michael Caine Bears in a Crime of Passion Two Decorated Gymnasts in a Niagara Falls Barrel Suicide Two Deities without a Cause in a Greek Chorus Two Reformed Bad Boys in a Mean Pizza Pie Two Named Beneficiaries in a Yo Mama Joke Two Out-o...