Going Terribly

It's time for a virtual vacation, so don't go anywhere! Just listen to Doug and Alice talk about strapping themselves into a sweaty VR headset to perform boring, everyday tasks such as kickboxing, flipping burgers, and chauffeuring creepy old men around town. Oh wait, that last one was real life. They should really make an Uber VR game. 5 out of 5 stars would recommend... Other discussion topics m...

In honor of World Theatre Day on March 27, local thespians, Kevin Roach and Zachary Charlemagne Tieken, regale the dastardly duo with tales of on-stage fellatio (via fried fowl), on-stage intercourse (via goats [both the acronym and the animal]), and Verfremdungseffekt (via Brecht's alienation of the audience, duh). Other discussion topics may include: - Theatre-related injuries, such as nearly ha...

It's Spring Break, bitches. Doug and Alice go out of town and get schwasted on Bosnian food and boozy ice cream, respectively. Then they return to discuss heady issues like hostile architecture against the homeless, moral imperatives of the vegan lifestyle, and how long before the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson comes out with the People's Vaccine. Other discussion topics may include: - The crappy recyc...

Welp. It has finally happened. Twenty-three episodes in, and Doug and Alice discuss whether or not they would actually eat human flesh. And not just eat any old human flesh, but like go to a niche (legal) restaurant and have a meal curated by a live human specimen who'll then carve off part of their own buttock or something. Other discussion topics may include:  - A multitude of perfectly leg...

Here they come to wreck the day! Doug and Alice reflect on morality, art, and the sins of our forebears, and the crock that is chiropractic medicine, and toxic metals in baby food, and dear lord, is anything good anymore?! Other discussion topics may include:   - The historical significance of Marie Antoinette's role in Alice in Wonderland  - Exploring the differences between vagina...

al1c3 and d0ug d1sh 4b0ut r3tr0 vid30 g4mes, s0r0r17y h4z1ng, s3xually 3xpl1c1t n0v3ls, ge771ng p13d 1n th3 fac3, and 0f c0urs3, murd3r-su1c1d3. Sever4l pl0ts 0f sever4l p0p cultur3 phen0men4 g3t sp0il3d, but h3y, d0n'7 b3 such a n00b. Y0u kn3w what y0u w3r3 ge771ng 1nt0 w1th th3s3 tw0 pwn3rs. w00t.  Translation: Alice and Doug are terrible. What did you expect?  Other discussion topics...

Have you decided what you're giving up for Lent? Milk? Bread? Warm weather? We are definitely not second-guessing Punxsutawney Phil today... Snowpocalypse is nigh, so cure your VD hangover with a little hair of the dog, and cuddle up with our good friend, first guest, top fan, and birthday boy, Josh Weiland!  Gamemaster Doug has concocted a clean slate of dirty games, and Cat Whisperer Alice...

She's a rare breed of unicorn, and he's in the business of misery. When Emily and Jake meet-cute at a recovery group for nose fetishists, sparks fly. But while they're engaging in pankkake and deciding whether GIFs are the ultimate love language, a sadistic ventriloquist and its doppelgänger capture them and make them sing the entire Moulin Rouge soundtrack together while replacing every instance...

Hello listener. This is your wake-up call. Every day of your working life, you have stumbled around like a zombie, listening to the same true crime podcasts you've consumed for the past decade. Now YOU are the cause of your own existential ennui.  Your aim in this game is to check out Doug and Alice's podcast. You have...a lot of time to do it in. There are carefully curated social media acco...

It's a great day for a great day. Alice talks loooong and hard about Dungeons, Dragons & Beyond -- yep, we're doing that kind of podcast now -- and Doug takes us on a side quest through the wonders of peanut brittle, green juice, and Jungle Jim's -- the biggest grocery store-cum-tourist attraction in the world. Yeah, we used the traditional, dictionary definition of cum, what of it?  Othe...

Colors of the world, Doug up your life. Every boy and every girl, Doug up your life. People of the world, Doug up your life. aaaAAAHHH!!!! It's Doug's birthday episode, and Alice has prepared a raucous gauntlet of Spice Girls-themed games...for no reason at all.  Other discussion topics may include: - How not to make a game show video game - The long awaited return of KÄKwords  - Baby's...

Alice and Doug will return on Tuesday, January 19th for Doug's special birthday epic! But before that, for this second abbreviated edition of the show, they've handed the keys to the Going Terribly-mobile over to Intern Sean. Can he write a wildly comedic script that will have you doubling over in laughter as he has promised?* You'll have to listen to find out!  *I mean, probably not, right?...

Alice and Doug are taking a little bitty two-week break and will return promptly on Tuesday, January 19th with a special episode for Doug's birthday! To hold you over, here is the first of two "Minisodes" (it means "mini episode" - we promise) where our two hosts will fill everyone in on what they'll be doing over the break. 

Doug and Alice get a bit pensive for this retrospective (retrospectus?) episode by recounting the highlights and lowlights of 2020 (high: that one painting of a girl laughing at a painting of a butt; low: solipsistic fibrosis) that led to the very creation of Going Terribly -- ultimately discovering that things might not be going so terribly after all :) Alice even surprises Doug with a multiple c...

'Twas the episode before Christmas, when all through the sludge, Not a vulgarity was spared, not even a "fudge"; The mockings were flung around the leg lamp with glee, In hopes that our guest Wendy wouldn't turn tail and flee; The children jeered as they beat poop from a log, While visions of horse skulls danced in their nogs; And Douglas Fir in his walrus shirt, and I in my elf cap, Had just read...

Dearest Going Terribly devotees, The coda of this pernicious solar revolution that threatened to never meet its quietus is finally nigh. A festive holiday denouement is upon us, and with it, comes grammarian pedantry, spectral flatulence, osculation via rosaceae, feline scatology, and a superannuated missive mission with a soupçon of thespian flair.  Blessed be those who hearkened to our auri...

Like Roberto Esquivel Cabrera's American Girl Doll-sized penis, which is actually mostly foreskin, this episode of Going Terribly is mostly It Went Terribly. Let us regale you with tales of how Alice's second favorite band disappointed her and how giant penises have disappointed us all. Other discussion topics may include: - Law & Order butt plates - A breakdown of favorite time traveling movi...

On the heels of a wicked Pranksgiving hangover, Doug and Alice discuss gentler, milder topics such as feng shui, American Girl Dolls, tax-free groceries, local filmmakers, and the timeless tunes of Tom Jones.  Really? Yeah, but no, not really. Other discussion topics may include: - Pent up Bible dudes - How to summon your pet Predator - When 32 inches is too small and when it's way too much -...

Release the Piecaken! It's Thanksgiving week, and Doug and Alice have crankstaken the shenanigans up to 11. Gird your sirloins for some long and uncomfortable ASMR, as well as a biblical digression about seed-spilling. Talk about Wanksgiving, amirite? Then tune into YouTube on Wednesday for Going Terribly's PRANKSGIVING VIDEO SPECIAL in which Doug and Alice take the best parts of Thanksgiving -- t...

In honor of Pranksgiving next week, Alice and Doug share their best, wholesome prank stories that may or may not involve knights, potatoes, grand larceny, douching, flaccidity, tickling, butterballs, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and fomentation of insurrection via social media. Other discussion topics may include: - Contact Death - Contact Death 2: Electric Deathaloo - Contact Death 3: Potato Storm - Co...

On November 10, 1810, George Jennings, inventor of the first flush toilet, was born. On November 10, 2020, Alice Shen, co-host of Going Terribly, will probably wreck a flush toilet after eating a tortilla chip bedeviled with Carolina Reaper pepper, Scorpion Pepper, and Sichuan Peppercorn. Why? Cuz she's an utter abomination, and it's her birthday. That's why. Visit Chez Doug to learn about other q...

It's 90s week, and the floor is nostalgia! Alice confesses that she never finished reading Watership Down in the eighth grade, and Doug reveals that he prefers *NSYNC over Backstreet Boys. They talk picture books, past presidents, animated feature films, and that awkward Millennial stage of being intimidated by both young children and adultier adults. And guess who's back! Maddie (Alice and Doug's...

It is a dark and stormy night. A gravelly voiced man sits by the fire, eating a peanut butter sandwich... But not just ANY peanut butter sandwich --- a HONEY ROASTED peanut butter sandwich... But not just ANY honey roasted peanut butter sandwich --- a SENTIENT honey roasted peanut butter sandwich...on ARTISANAL BREAD!!! And it's screaming! THE NUTS ARE SCREAMING!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Double, Double, Boil and Trouble! Doug accidentally drinks shower water during a boil advisory. Alice nearly burns her house down while boiling a pot of water to sanitize her menstrual cup. They’re clearly not ready to manage their own Home Depot. Or murder the Scottish king, usurp the throne, and get these bloodstains out by Halloween.  Other discussion topics may include:  - Men, women...

The dastardly duo contemplate getting matching tattoos after a series of unfortunate events: Doug regrets investing in artisanal beads; Alice pines after an unattainable hurdy-gurdist in Winnipeg; they welcome Josh Weiland to the poo’dcast but somehow don’t make any 3-way jokes. There’s also legit information about the Extra Life gaming fundraiser to benefit Riley Hospital for Children. How about...