Glaswegians Anonymous

The boys are back and, quite frankly, they’ve reached a breaking point. This week, Darren and Gary recap their experience taking on the Open Goal Hot Wings challenge, but it wasn't just the spice that had them sweating—it was the camera angles. After a harrowing look at their own side profiles on screen, Gary finally snaps. In a monologue for the ages, he officially announces his retirement fr...

Buckle up for another dose of pure Glasgow patter as Gary and Darren return to the mics for a look back at a chaotic week. This episode is a proper mixed bag—ranging from nostalgic tech talk to some seriously questionable life choices. Here’s the script for this week’s madness: • Parenting or Procrastination? Gary explains why he spent his week building a den with the weans when they definitely sh...

In this landmark 30th episode, the boys are joined by a man who knows exactly what it takes to reach the top of the mountain: British and Commonwealth Featherweight Champion, Nathaniel Collins. Nathaniel takes us behind the curtain of the professional fight game, and it’s not all glitz and gold belts. We’re talking about the mental and physical torture of "the cut"—that brutal period bef...

In this week’s episode, Gary and Darren dive into a chaotic mix of rural life, questionable grooming habits, and high-stakes football tension. Here’s what the lads are getting into:• Farm Life & Nostalgia: Gary shares his experience going lambing, leading into a deep dive on how childhood has changed since "back in the day."• The Tech Struggle: A congested Darren explains why he ended up signi...

Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Glaswegians Anonymous. This week, the fitness regime has taken a bit of a turn, the nostalgia is hitting hard, and Darren’s social calendar is causing some serious domestic tension in the studio. On this week’s madness:• The King of Pop (via Greenock): Darren makes the pilgrimage to see a Michael Jackson tribute act. Let’s just say the moonwalk hits diffe...

Back with another week of madness with Darren & Gary:The Comedy Grind: Gary is officially "going demented" with full-time comedy. Between forgetting when the schools are off and showing up late, the lifestyle is clearly taking its toll.• The Digital Traitor: Hear how Gary used AI to create a cursed image of Charlie Mulgrew in a Rangers top. Is nothing sacred anymore?• Stage & Scr...

In this week’s chaotic installment of Glaswegians Anonymous, Gary and Darren prove that 9:00 AM is an ungodly hour for two comedians with ADHD to be operating heavy machinery (or even a microphone). From career milestones to hypothetical cellmates, the boys cover: • The 9:00 AM Struggle: An honest look at the brain fog and executive dysfunction that hits when you try to be funny before the caffein...

Episode 25 is coming at you live from the heart of the Barras! We set up shop in Smokey Trotter’s Kitchen with a list of audience suggestions and zero self-control. In true Darren and Gary fashion, the "plan" goes out the window within minutes as the boys spiral into a series of mad tangents involving childhood lofts, questionable grooming habits, and a smell Gary will never forget. The...

In this week’s episode of Glaswegians Anonymous, Gary and Darren take a deep dive into the chaotic spectrum of modern life—ranging from international warfare to the local chippy. The lads don’t hold back as they tackle the heavy hitters and the high-protein hitters, covering:• The Thin Blue Line: A heated debate on whether the police should be armed. Is it time for Glocks on the Gallowgate, or are...

Buckle up, because this week Darren and Gary are diving into the deep end of the "too much information" pool. In an episode that swings wildly from the medical to the geopolitical, no topic is too taboo (or too messy) for the lads to tackle. Inside This Episode:• The Deep Clean: Darren gives us a blow-by-blow account of his recent colonic irrigation. From the clinical dignity of the waiting room t...

Buckle up for another chaotic shift with the Glaswegians Anonymous crew! This week, Gary and Darren are trading the microphones for aprons—or at least they’re dreaming about it. Here’s what’s cooking in Episode 22: • The Roll of a Lifetime: Following the legendary Morton’s rolls saga, Gary and Darren discuss their newfound ambition to become the city’s next top bakers. • The Ultimate Filling: We s...

The boys are back for the first sit-down of 2026, and let’s just say the festive period has left its mark—mostly on Gary’s waistline and Darren’s ego. In this episode, Gary and Darren dissect the chaos of Christmas and New Year. While Darren has emerged looking suspiciously "fresh" (leading to an investigation into his new glow), Gary is mostly just recovering from a dairy-induced coma. What’s on...

The mics are hot and the filters are off. 🎙️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 In Part 2 of our live special, we’re diving into the Glaswegians Anonymous Podcast. After the stand-up tension has cleared, [Name] and [Guest Name] sit down to discuss the absolute state of the city, listener confessions, and the kind of stories that can only happen in Glasgow. Expect: • Deep dives into Glasgow culture. • Live Q&A and "...

The front row thought they were safe—they were wrong. 🎤💥 Welcome to Part 1 of Glaswegians Anonymous Live, recorded at [Insert Venue Name, e.g., The Glee Club/Rotunda]. In this set, it’s all about the audience. From questionable career choices to chaotic nights out in the West End, no stone is left unturned as [Name] takes on the best (and worst) of the Glasgow crowd. In this video: • The art of...

Merry Christmas from the city where the "Star of Bethlehem" is usually just a police helicopter! This week, Darren and Gary tuck into a festive feast of nonsense, regret, and questionable spiritual enlightenment. The boys start by dissecting the unique misery of staring at a turkey dinner while coming down, before reminiscing about the last-minute chaos of the Barras on Christmas Eve. Ga...

It’s the pre-Christmas special, and the festive stress is officially kicking in! On this week’s Glaswegians Anonymous, we are breaking down the absolute chaos of the season. Gary is gearing up to take the kids away for Christmas (pray for him), and we discuss why the Christmas Market at the Four Corners is currently the wildest place on earth. We also dive into the big ambitions for the year ahead...

The boys are back! Darren is officially surviving the flu, which gives him just enough energy to roast Gary for his latest confession: he used to have Boobs. In this episode:• Gary almost dies on stage in Aberdeen (literally). 💀• Darren deals with a serious clown problem. 🤡• We break down Gary’s bakery order. 🥐• The dreaded "leakage" after a slash. 💦• And finally... the story of Darr...

WE ARE BACK! And we are still buzzing from the absolute scenes at the Glee Club! Episode 15 is a massive recap of our sold-out live show in Glasgow. If you were there, you know it was pure chaos from start to finish. If you weren't, get this watched to see what you missed. We break down the best moments of the night, the mad atmosphere, and the banter that could only happen in Glasgow. ALSO IN...

YES! IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! 🏆 On this week's episode of Glaswegians Anonymous, Gary and Darren are absolutely buzzing after Tuesday night's historic result. Scotland has officially qualified for the World Cup, and the boys are here to break down the scenes, the celebrations, and what this means for the Tartan Army. It’s getting nostalgic as the guys look back at the squad from 1998 the las...

This week, the lads confess all. Darren and Gary take a trip down memory lane to revisit every mental, desperate, and downright daft diet they’ve ever attempted. Then, they get real about the present state of affairs: Darren's on a new journey, smashing boxing training three times a week, while Gary reveals why he’s officially chucked the Mounjaro. This Podcast is Brought to you by - Smokey Tr...

Remember when Bonfire Night in Glasgow was a different kind of wild? This week, Gary and Darren dive into the smoky archives of their memories to talk all things Guy Fawkes. They look back at what Bonfire Night was really like "back in the day" compared to the organised displays of today. From the massive, legendary bonfires down Glasgow Green to the pure chaos of folk shooting fireworks...

Prepare for liftoff... or something. This week, Darren and Gary are talking all things extraterrestrial. We get into the mysterious "3i atlas," Gary’s personal relationship with both aliens and God (aye, really), and the most important question of all:If aliens landed in Glesga, where would you take them for the ultimate day out? From the deep unknown to the best tourist traps, it's...

In Episode 10 of Glaswegians Anonymous, Darren and Gary take a hilarious and brutally honest trip down memory lane — sharing their first drinking experiences, nights at the unders, and park bevvy sessions. They also get real about why Darren chose to go sober, and Gary reveals how Mounjaro has left him unable to trust a fart. It’s equal parts chaos, confession, and classic Glaswegian banter. LIVE...

Remember your first-ever job? This week, Gary and Darren take a trip down memory lane to discuss the highs and lows of earning their first wage packet. Darren recalls the wild west of the supermarket car park during his time as a trolley boy, while Gary talks us through his days as a solder and the unforgettable stories from his time behind the wheel as a Glasgow taxi driver. LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMEN...

Welcome to Glaswegians Anonymous — your weekly catch-up with two of the wildest comedians in the UK! This week, Darren and Gary take a trip down memory lane, chatting about their days in primary school, growing up in the scheme, and what it was really like trying to fit in at school in Glasgow. Expect chaos, nostalgia, and plenty of laughs — straight from the heart of Scotland. 🎧 New episodes eve...