Give Grief A Chance

February brings with it love, and those signs are everywhere, in the local supermarkets, card stores, jewelry stores, and flower shops. Most of them are all filled with beautiful red and pink hearts, and pictures of Cupid trying to spread love and chocolates to each and everyone of us. When your loved one has died, unfortunately all of this Valentine's fuss, only reinforces who and what you are mi...

February 1st-7th will mark the fourth annual National Gun Violence Survivors Week, which focuses on sharing the stories of gun survivors who live with the trauma of gun violence every day. Calandrian Kemp is a gun violence survivor who has joined me on this episode to talk about her grief, her work, and her life. 

At times it can be hard to find the right words to say to a person who is grieving. And when it comes to grief support, words can either heal and connect us or they can shut the griever down and hurt them. It is not helpful to minimize people's grief with statements of comparison, people need to be allowed to express the depth of their grief without feeling that they shouldn't feel as bad as they...

As a grief recovery coach I've learned that many people become good at holding onto and trying to hide their emotional pain. Some people have unresolved loss of trust from childhood experiences that keeps them on a perpetual state of being okay with their pain, and sadly it becomes a permanent condition in their life.  

There is no right or wrong way to grieve and thank goodness there are ways to support the grieving process, and mindfulness is one of them. Choosing to live in the past or the future not only robs you of the enjoyment of today, but it robs you of truly living in the only important moment... which is now. 

When it comes to loss and trauma, studies show that the body remembers and stores from our life experiences. Some believe that the mind might forget but the body never does. The truth is, our bodies speak to us all the time but the chances are, we might not hear those messages as it's usually in difficult times like when a significant loss happens to us that we begin to tune into it.  

Setting healthy boundaries can be hard, but much of our health and general well-being depends on our ability to set and maintain good boundaries. At no time in life is that ability more necessary than during a time of grief, or being a caregiver to a loved one. Sadly, most of us don't think about boundaries and many people don't know what they are, but when you know and understand yourself, you'll...

The term ambiguous grief was coined by Pauline Boss PHD in the 1970's. Basically it is the grief experienced from the loss of someone who is still alive and for many it's when a loss is unresolved. 

For some people grief can be a very hard and emotionally difficult experience and they may feel a wide range of emotions, while others may experience less intense emotions. However, we all have different expressions and ways to cope with loss and everyone does it in their own personal way. There's no right or wrong, and and no better or worse, your emotions are normal natural and unique to you. 

What we believe usually dictates how we will feel, and most of us think our beliefs are right otherwise we would believe something else. Unfortunately, many people believe that being right is being happy however, that rightness can limit or restrict your happiness and it can impact your ability to recovery from a loss.  

A death doula is someone who makes him or herself available to assist a dying individual and also help the family by providing physical, emotional, and spiritual support. The doula can help to relieve any anxiety and is usually one of the last people in the room helping with the transition from life to death. 

For as long as we’ve lived, we have died and that we cannot deny. Another part of life is that we will at some point along the way all lose someone or something we love and we will grieve, no one escapes, it’s the inevitable. And yet, the subject of death, dying, grief and all its emotions is still taboo and for most people, a difficult subject to talk about.

As the end of the year approaches, so do the holidays. And for many it's a time when they experience the recurrence of grief, as they remember the happy times with a deceased loved one or an ex that they loved and deeply cared for. When grief shows up around this time, it can be very confusing and overwhelming.

Compassion fatigue is a broadly defined concept that can include emotional, physical, and spiritual distress in those providing care to another. It's also associated with caregiving where people and animals are experiencing significant emotional or physical pain and suffering. It has also been described as 'the cost of caring for others.'

Many disasters like hurricanes, wildfires, mudslides, or transportation accidents can be sudden and cause way more damage than reported. Therefore, it's important to understand your emotions and grief that follows a natural disaster in order for you to cope with those painful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, that show up. 

All of our lives are made up of many losses which usually begin at an early age. Sadly, most of those losses are never looked at as grief and so they are never dealt with. But when grief is left, it can cause negative thoughts and behaviors which will interfere in different areas of a person's life.

Death and divorce are natural parts of life, but if death happens suddenly or unexpectedly such as with a car accident or suicide, that traumatic experience and the grief of the loss can totally overwhelm you and consume your thoughts and mind. The longer you keep those feelings bottled up, that traumatic event will affect your life in many areas and we don't want that to happen. 

Feelings are vibrations in our body that cause sensations, and those feelings can become so familiar to us because our past memories are easy to recall. Now, those feelings are not a problem when they are felt and dealt with, it's when we try to avoid and push them within that they can affect us in a negative way. 

For many people letting go of youth can be heartbreaking. And if you believe what we see in the movies and on TV then, life practically ends at a very young age. We have to take responsibility for our own health and happiness no matter what age, if we don’t then we add more grief to our lives.

When I experienced multiple losses, those deaths helped me to accept and understand that death is part of living. They allowed me to remember what is really important in my life, and live each day as if it matters, grow spiritually and emotionally, and become more of who I am meant to be.

Randi has metastatic breast cancer that she has been fighting for almost five years. Currently her tumor markers have been elevating and she is about to start chemo number twelve. Randi openly shares her story of living and dealing with breast cancer, and how it has never stopped her from doing the things that she enjoys the most.   

We bond with our pets in such a deep and meaningful way. For some people they feel that the loss of their furry companion is the hardest thing that they will ever have to go through and many people never seem to be able to move on with life after their pet has gone.

Adding hypnosis techniques to your recovery process can help to reduce the intensity of your grief, it can help you to find compassion for yourself so you can create a loving a healthy self-care routine. It guides you to find moments of peace and calm and truly aids you on your healing journey. 

Unresolved grief is the continual feelings of emotional pain, and if you have never dealt with your past losses or you do not deal with the loss that you're experiencing now. Then that pain will stay with you for years, and it can show up in many different areas of your life and in many different ways.

I think we can all agree that hardly a day passes by without us hearing of yet another case of sexual harassment on the news. And while we are bombarded with coverage about the accuser, very little is said about the emotional pain of the victims.