G.I.A. Guild of Inept Adventurers

The Guild reach the heart of the orc lair… and immediately begin to question every life choice that led them here. What started as a bold pursuit now looks suspiciously like a terrible idea, as the full extent of the orc encampment becomes clear. Outnumbered, outmatched, and definitely underprepared, the group must decide whether to strike while the enemy are drunk and distracted… or do the sensib...

Back in Middle-earth, the Guild attempt something dangerously close to competence: tracking their enemies. Following the trail of the orcs that ambushed them at the Ring Fort, Dan leads Sam, Justin, Ash, and Mike deep into enemy territory—straight to the lair they really should have reconsidered entering. Waiting at the mouth of the tunnels is a less-than-welcoming guardian: a spider that clearly...

The Guild finds themselves in the kind of trouble that usually requires a quick escape, a clever plan… or, unfortunately, them. After a mysterious man quite literally drops out of the sky with a rocket strapped to his back, the posse do what they do best: stand nearby and immediately look guilty. Within minutes, the U.S. Military descend, led by the ever-suspicious Captain Callahan, who decides—co...

The trail north grows hotter, harsher, and somehow even more ridiculous as water becomes a serious problem for both the herd and the posse. Thirst sets in, tempers fray, and survival starts to look a lot less glamorous than the open frontier promised. Philippe’s strange bond with Devil Eyes deepens as he learns to see through her eyes. Harry dreams of a far more relaxing future involving rest, rec...

Peace never lasts long in Middle-earth. What begins as relief turns to chaos when a band of orcs descends upon the ring fort. With only a handful of guards — most of them barely more than frightened peasants — the Guild must help hold the line against the sudden assault. In the confusion, Dindy is seized by the orcs and dragged into the darkness, leaving the party scrambling to defend the fort and...

Dan once again guides Justin, Sam, Ash and Mike through the wilds of Middle-earth as the party finally closes in on the missing hobbit, Dindy. The trail leads them to their quarry at last — but the truth behind his disappearance proves far more trivial than any of them expected, and his recent adventures are slowly revealed. While the mystery unfolds, the party continue to display the finest tradi...

The road to Bree begins. Dan leads Justin, Sam, Ash and Mike onward from The Tavern, their path set toward answers — and toward Dindy’s uncertain fate. But Middle-earth rarely allows quiet journeys. Along the road, the party glimpse a strange yet familiar figure: a grey-bearded man, staff in hand, watching from afar. Friend? Foe? Or something far more insignificant? The air grows colder when a wra...

After a brief hiatus, the Guild return to Tolkien’s world and pick up their tale within the timbered comfort of Woodland Hall. Dan leads Justin, Sam, Ash and newcomer Mike as the party finally enjoy a moment of peace — hunting in the forest, fishing in quiet waters, and sampling more ale than is strictly heroic. A new face joins the company: Arminas, an elf whose arrival signals that rest may not...

The blood drive turns deadly. As the Lazy S crew make camp on the long trail north, the night brings more than restless sleep. Out of the darkness come the men of Bayou Vermillion — and this time they’re not riding alone. The dead walk beside them. Gunfire cracks through the night as the posse fights to hold the line against a relentless assault of steel, teeth, and cold hands clawing from the gra...

Brad leads Justin, Mike and Dan deeper into the mystery of Gallowmere’s missing vegetables, and at last the truth begins to surface. Following the trail of raided caravans, the party uncover a gang of goblins led by the ruthless Captain Scragg, who appear to be strangling the town’s trade under the orders of a shadowy figure known only as “V”. The conspiracy runs deeper than anyone expected — but...

Brad leads Dan, Mike and Justin deeper into the mysteries of Gallowmere, where the town’s shortage of fresh vegetables proves to be more than just poor harvests and bad luck. As rumours of raided caravans begin to surface, the party starts to piece together the truth behind the town’s troubles — though not without the usual level of Guild competence. Aramill ends up soaked in oil, Brother Armagedd...

Brad takes the helm with Justin, Sam P and Ash to introduce three brand-new G.I.A. recruits in the second episode of our new campaign, set in the dockside town of Gallowmere. Strange symbols begin appearing around the harbour. Whispers spread of occult dealings in shadowy warehouses. And before long, our debut adventurers find themselves tangled in the suspiciously incompetent plans of a gang of t...

Brad takes the helm with Justin, Sam P and Ash to introduce three brand-new G.I.A. recruits in the first episode of our new campaign, set in the dockside town of Gallowmere. Strange symbols begin appearing around the harbour. Whispers spread of occult dealings in shadowy warehouses. And before long, our debut adventurers find themselves tangled in the suspiciously incompetent plans of a gang of th...

The cattle are restless. The tension is worse. Red steps into the dust to face Phelps in the most sacred ritual of the frontier — a duel. Guns poised. Eyes locked. One heartbeat too many before the draw. Elsewhere, Ruby discovers that briar patches are not, in fact, soft. Philippe channels his strange magic to patch up the posse (and himself, naturally). And Harry graciously, humbly, and completel...

Life on the Lazy S shows no signs of slowing down as the posse juggle ranch work, strange visitors, and their first taste of real danger. Red helps Hank track down his missing horse — only to discover it’s very drunk. Phillipe finally achieves a spiritual (and deeply unsettling) bond with Devil Eyes, while Harry walks Amos through the miracles… and horrors… of cow birth. Ruby, meanwhile, expresses...

Justin returns as Marshal, leading Jo, Sam, Mark, and Ross deeper into the realities of ranching life in the Weird West. The posse roll up their sleeves and get stuck into honest work — breaking broncos, hauling supplies, and discovering just how unforgiving life on the range can be. Ross quickly learns that shooting while blind is even harder than advertised. Jo suffers the wrath of an ill-temper...

The G.I.A. saddle up for the start of a long-awaited Deadlands campaign as Justin steps into the Marshal’s boots, guiding Ross, Jo, Sam and Mark through the dusty, dangerous world of the Weird West. The posse roll into the humble town of Sutter’s Flats, where they meet a mysterious priest, discuss facial hair and sign up for a cattle drive with the Lazy S, and immediately discover that ranching li...

Brad takes the GM’s chair and leads Sam P, Justin, Dan, and first-time victim Mike into the depths of a cultist lair using Praise the Fallen by Graphite Prime. The thrilling conclusion. With Mike and Sam P on the brink of death and the cult’s plans moments from completion, the truth finally comes out — Dan is revealed as a traitor. Trust shatters, blades are drawn, and the party is forced to decid...

Brad takes the GM’s chair and leads Sam P, Justin, Dan, and first-time victim Mike into the depths of a cultist lair using Praise the Fallen by Graphite Prime. Part two wastes no time getting violent. The gang crash a ritual mid-chant, interrupt a very annoyed priest, and immediately solve several problems with extreme prejudice. Blades are looted, magic longswords are acquired, prisoners are free...

Brad takes the GM’s chair and leads Sam P, Justin, Dan, and first-time victim Mike into the depths of a cultist lair using Praise the Fallen by Graphite Prime. In part one of this three-part descent, Mike immediately starts questioning every life choice after joining the guild. Dan perfectly cuts his hand. Sam P finds himself trapped on the wrong side of a door, and Justin develops a headache. Rit...

Frustration, horror and paranoia… and that’s just because Ross is GMing. His chaotic mind is fully unleashed in this three-part Those Dark Places special, where rules are “guidelines” and guidelines are “optional” because, well… Ross never reads them. Justin, Jo, Mark and the long-awaited return of Sam — baby in tow — answer a distress signal from a remote mining colony. Their mission: retrieve a...

Frustration, horror and paranoia… and that’s just because Ross is GMing. His chaotic mind is fully unleashed in this three-part Those Dark Places special, where rules are “guidelines” and guidelines are “optional” because, well… Ross never reads them. Justin, Jo, Mark and the long-awaited return of Sam — baby in tow — answer a distress signal from a remote mining colony. Their mission: retrieve a...

Frustration, horror and paranoia… and that’s just because Ross is GMing. His chaotic mind is fully unleashed in this three-part Those Dark Places special, where rules are “guidelines” and guidelines are “optional” because, well… Ross never reads them. Justin, Jo, Mark and the long-awaited return of Sam — baby in tow — answer a distress signal from a remote mining colony. Their mission: retrieve a...

In the brutal conclusion to this Caveman Cthulhu one-shot, the tribe are thrown headfirst into blood, guts, and cosmic horror as they battle the colossal beast Ithaqua beneath an uncaring sky. Ross gets the horn. Jo is lost to the eternal dance. And Justin makes the ultimate sacrifice in a desperate bid to save what little of the world still makes sense. A portal tears open between the physical wo...

Mark returns to the Stone Age to lead Justin, Ross, and Jo in the first part of this prehistoric Call of Cthulhu one-shot. Gadnar is mostly recovered from his recent bout of madness — though some things are still sagging. Ten’Ril calls on the power of aromatherapy, and Handsome Og attempts to assert dominance over his rival, Ugly Og, in the shittest possible way. The tribe’s journey quickly turns...