Ghosts: Essays in Conversation

When Sex Felt Like a Return Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay When Sex Felt Like a Return from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the emotional pull of familiarity in intimacy, how recognition can feel like homecoming, the confusion between comfort and belonging, and the quiet ways repetition can shape connection. We explore the tension between ease and gr...

Sex as a Way of Staying in Someone’s Life Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex as a Way of Staying in Someone’s Life from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss how sex can become a way of maintaining presence when other forms of connection begin to thin, the emotional reality of choosing continuity over confrontation, and the quiet negotiation between wantin...

The Hope That Would Not Let Go Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay The Hope That Would Not Let Go from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the experience of hope continuing long after clarity has arrived, how feeling can persist despite repeated disappointment, and the quiet ways hope reshapes itself to survive contradiction. We explore the loneliness of carr...

Being Desired for the Wrong Reasons Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Being Desired for the Wrong Reasons from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the experience of recognising when desire is directed at a version of you that is convenient, projected, or timed rather than truly known. We explore the tension between understanding that the attention is misali...

Sex That Confirmed an Absence Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex That Confirmed an Absence from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss how intimacy can reveal limits rather than dissolve them, the quiet moment when closeness confirms something essential is not available, and the emotional clarity that arrives without blame or rupture. We explore how sex can...

The Moment You Knew It Would Not Continue Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay The Moment You Knew It Would Not Continue from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet instant when recognition arrives before acceptance, the emotional gap between knowing and readiness, and the experience of continuing to care while already sensing an ending. We explore how...

When Nothing Was Wrong but Nothing Was Right Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay When Nothing Was Wrong but Nothing Was Right from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet discomfort of intimacy that contains no clear harm yet never fully settles into rightness, the emotional ambiguity of staying when nothing is broken and leaving when nothing is clearly...

Sex as Emotional Negotiation Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex as Emotional Negotiation from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss how sex can become a space where unspoken needs, hopes, limits, and fears are quietly exchanged, how emotional concessions are made in order to sustain connection, and how silence often carries more weight than explicit agreem...

Wanting Closeness Without Exposure Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Wanting Closeness Without Exposure from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet desire for intimacy that avoids being fully seen, the tension between warmth and withholding, how closeness can feel real while deeper exposure remains absent, and the emotional contradictions that shape...

Sex That Never Found Its Ending Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex That Never Found Its Ending from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the experience of sexual encounters that stopped happening but never fully concluded emotionally, the quiet persistence of unfinished connections, the impact of fading rather than rupture, and how unnamed intimacy can li...

Realising How Replaceable You Were Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Realising How Replaceable You Were from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet moment when a connection is revealed to be less singular than it felt, the emotional recalibration that follows discovering how easily attention shifts, and how self perception changes once replaceability...

Liking Who You Were During Sex Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Liking Who You Were During Sex from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss becoming attached not only to another person but to a version of oneself that appears during sex, the quiet longing to return to that internal ease and coherence, and the subtle confusion between wanting someone and wantin...

Sex as a Way of Being Chosen Again Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex as a Way of Being Chosen Again from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the emotional pull of returning to sex in order to feel selected and recognised, the quiet longing to be chosen again even when connection has not deepened, and the subtle ways repetition can become tied to relevan...

Hoping It Would Change Afterwards Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Hoping It Would Change Afterwards from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet relocation of hope into the future after disappointment has already been felt, the fantasy that intimacy will deepen with time and repetition, and the subtle bargains we make with ourselves to keep a connec...

Sex That Did Not Make Things Better Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex That Did Not Make Things Better from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet hope that sex might ease emotional weight, the subtle expectations carried into intimacy, and the disorientation that follows when closeness joins existing difficulty rather than shifting it. We explore...

Being Seen Only Where It Suited Them Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Being Seen Only Where It Suited Them from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the experience of being recognised in selective ways, how partial attention can feel both affirming and diminishing, and how being valued for certain qualities while others remain unseen shapes self perception...

Feeling Used and Missing Them Anyway Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Feeling Used and Missing Them Anyway from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the emotional contradiction of recognising that an encounter was uneven or instrumental while still missing the person involved. I reflect on longing that persists after clarity, on affection that survives imba...

When Pleasure Makes Things Harder Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay When Pleasure Makes Things Harder from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the emotional contradiction of enjoying sex while recognising misalignment, how pleasure complicates clarity, the quiet negotiations that follow moments of satisfaction, and the way enjoyment can soften boundaries an...

Sex as a Promise No One Made Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Sex as a Promise No One Made from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss how expectation quietly forms in the absence of spoken agreement, how sex can take on the weight of implication and continuity without anyone naming it, and how emotional meaning can grow from closeness alone. We explore the h...

Mistaking Intensity for Truth Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Mistaking Intensity for Truth from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss how strong feeling can quietly become a stand in for certainty, how urgency and emotional charge accelerate belief, and how intensity reshapes perception until it feels like clarity. We explore the human confusion of discove...

Wanting to Be Wanted More Than Wanting Them Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Wanting to Be Wanted More Than Wanting Them from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the emotional shift where desire centres on being wanted rather than truly wanting the other person, the subtle way validation can carry more weight than intimacy, and how attention, affirmation,...

The Lie That Made It Bearable Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay The Lie That Made It Bearable from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the quiet stories people tell themselves in intimate moments in order to remain present, how small internal reframings allow encounters to continue, and the emotional complexity of sustaining connection through partial truth...

Staying When You Already Knew Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Staying When You Already Knew from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the experience of remaining in a sexual or emotional situation after recognition has already arrived, the quiet calculations that shape timing, and the tension between clarity and action. We explore emotional inertia, privat...

Feeling Chosen and Losing Ground Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Feeling Chosen and Losing Ground from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the emotional experience of being chosen and how that moment of validation can quietly reshape a person’s sense of ground. We explore the relief that comes with being wanted, the subtle shifts that follow, and how affi...

Attachment Without Permission Podcast: This is a conversational podcast exploring my essay Attachment Without Permission from the book Ghosts of Sex. In the podcast we discuss the experience of becoming emotionally attached despite clear boundaries and stated intentions, the quiet shock of realising a bond has formed without conscious choice, and the contradiction between clarity and feeling. We e...