Ghost Ninja Raccoon

This week, Winter horror continues and I willingly buried myself under 2014’s Avalanche Sharks, a movie that asked the bold question: what if sharks were ghosts… made of snow… with CGI from a cursed flash drive? Set at a ski resort where winter sports go to die, this flick unleashes spectral snow sharks that swim through powder, ice, and apparently the laws of physics. The CGI is aggressively terr...

This week we’re diving headfirst into the icy hellscape that is January—because what better way to kick off 2026 than with some snowy, blustery, winter-themed horror? We’re skiing, we’re bundled in snowsuits, we’re mainlining hot cocoa, and—surprise—somebody’s getting kilt. Our #lastcentury pick slides us back to the 80s with ICED!—an almost romantic slasher about unrequited love on the slopes… pl...

Since December insists on having five weeks, this is the BONUS WEEK episode—aka I watched whatever cursed nonsense called to me from the void. Enter: Minutes to Midnight. A New Year’s horror flick so unloved it doesn’t even have a critic score. Just silence. Warning silence. We’ve got young adults being aggressively unbothered by nearby murders, ominous weather that never shows up, a muscle-bound...

December, week 4 means sequel time, and let’s be honest—there are only so many Christmas horror franchises. Since I wasn’t in the mood to be comically grossed out, I went classic and committed to a true sequel: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2. This movie is a gift that keeps on giving: campy kills, the hardest-working eyebrows in cinema history, and—no joke—about 30 minutes of straight-up footag...

December Week 3 is here which means it’s officially #BlackWeek 🎄🖤 And our Black Christmas Horror pick is Elf in the Hood. Now let’s be real: it’s not really an elf and they are definitely not in the hood. But people do get taken out by our tiny, gun-toting menace, so points for commitment. We’ve also got the ultimate “I’m in charge but definitely not” husband, paired with a “we should leave but...

Week 2 of December! We’ve officially shuffled out of the 80s mullet era and marched straight into the 2000s for more Holiday Horror — this time with our #ThisCentury pick: The Mean One. Picture this: the Grinch’s messy play cousin who never grew a heart, stayed petty, and decided to season his Christmas hate with a little light homicide. We’re heading to Newville, where the town has zero holiday c...

We’ve officially stumbled out of our celebration of thanks and straight into our celebration of gifts, which can only mean one thing: new month, new theme — Christmas Horror! And we’re kicking it off with our #LastCentury pick, Christmas Evil. Join me as I break down how one little boy’s magical Santa moment gets absolutely obliterated because his parents could NOT wait until he was sleep-sleep be...

It’s the final week of Thanksgiving Horror Month and the official kickoff to America’s “Annual Overstuff-Yourself-With-17-Sides-And-Regret” celebration. So naturally, I’m bringing you Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving! In this one, shoppers absolutely lose their shit over free waffle irons, bodies start dropping like fruitcakes, and somebody gets real butt-hurt and decides to express their feelings through...

Just when you thought it was totally fine for Lassie’s play-cousin Flashie to trot into the woods and whiz on the tiniest totem pole in the tri-state area… surprise! It was not fine. Which is why this week, I present to you: THANKSKILLING. Yes, a necromanced, deeply petty turkey rises from the grave to exact revenge on anyone who dared disrespect his ancestors—because… reasons. And we, lucky us, g...

It’s my 50th episode (!!) and to celebrate, I picked a movie about one of my all-time favorite pastimes: SHOPPING. This week we’re going back to the 90s and early 2000s—aka the golden era of doorbusters and chaos—with Black Friday! You know, when stores opened at 2 a.m., folks camped out for a toaster, and you could roll up in your jam-jams to score “The Lowest Price of the Season.” Anyway, in thi...

It’s a new month, and while we may not get to our sequel pick, we do have a theme: Thanksgiving Horror! 🦃 Believe it or not, there are enough turkey-day slashers out there to fill a whole month. So for our #LastCentury pick, we’re carving into the 80s classic Blood Rage! Join me as I unpack the long-overdue face-off between twin brothers separated by crime, betrayal, a mental institution, and—you...

For Sequel Month, I figured we needed at least one Halloween movie to keep things spooky for October 2025—and what makes more sense than HALLOWEEN III: Season of the Witch? That’s right, the one that outraged fans and delighted misanthropes everywhere by completely ghosting Michael Myers. No masked slasher creeping through the shadows, no Dr. Loomis screaming warnings into the void, and no badass...

Took it back to the funky ’70s for #BlackWeek and watched Sugar Hill—and baby, revenge has never looked this smooth or this sweet. 🍯 Suga serves elegance, brains, and a body count, proving you should never underestimate a smart, beautiful Black woman with love on her mind and payback in her heart. She’s out here summoning the undead, dismantling the patriarchy, and doing it all while looking fly...

Took it back to the 90s and went waaayyy off the rails for our #LastCentury episode with Tammy & the T-Rex 🦖. Baby Denise Richards is just trying to live her best teen life, but her ex? He needs therapy, anger management, and maybe an exorcism—because this man does not take the breakup well. Luckily (or not?), that’s only her problem for so long… because there’s a freakin’ T-Rex in this movie, y’...

I’m calling an audible this month—swapping out Halloween Horror for Dealer’s Choice… and guess what? I’m the dealer. 🎃🃏 Don’t worry, I’m still sticking with our tried-and-true formula: old, new, Black, and part two. So we’re kicking things off with something new: 2020’s Freaky! Basically, take Freaky Friday, mix in some Jason Voorhees-style campy chaos, and boom—you’ve got a bloody good time. An...

Supernatural September isn’t done yet—we’ve got a bonus week, and we’re riding straight back to 1799 with Sleepy Hollow! That’s right, Tim Burton teams up with his spooky muse Johnny Depp for a dark, gothic mystery featuring the sharpest detective skills an orphan can buy, the purest intentions of the prettiest girl in town, and oh yeah — a Headless Horseman, because what’s a gothic fairytale with...

Supernatural Month hits #BlackWeek with a cult gem: Bones! Starring none other than the greatest non-athlete Olympics correspondent alive—Snoop Dogg himself. That’s right, Mr. Gin & Juice steps into horror alongside the iconic Foxy Brown in this stylish 2000s throwback. A crew of clueless young adults think they can flip an old haunted house… instead, they resurrect Jimmy Bones 💀. And trust me—he...

Supernatural September keeps rolling with Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II. What starts as high school drama quickly veers into Carrie-style chaos when a vengeful prom queen returns to possess a sweet, unsuspecting teen. Add in a straight-laced principal with a guilty past, a creepy rocking horse that has no business being that unsettling, and a prom night where the real nightmare isn’t bad punch—it’...

We’re serving a double dose of Bacon with You Should’ve Left. A family retreat to the Welsh countryside should be soothing—except the husband’s shady, the wife’s glowing, the kid’s too observant, and the house? Think Architectural Digest, but designed by someone who hates you. Spoiler: he should’ve packed sooner. Music By: DJ B. Foreman One of the best to ever do it! Follow me below for other revi...

Supernatural September has arrived! Five weeks of ghostly goodness and spine-tingling shenanigans start here—with Kevin Bacon in Stir of Echoes. Watch a regular dude get zapped into psychic detective mode, solving a mystery he didn’t even ask for. Luckily, he’s got the ultimate horror sidekick: Detective Mom Eames, serving “supportive queen” energy every step of the way. Music By: DJ B. Foreman On...

Camp Month wraps with a banger: Friday the 13th Part 2! Sequel Week kicks off with Jason Voorhees making his bloody debut—before the hockey mask, but already hacking his way into horror history and our hearts! No kids this time, just fresh-faced counselors who thought they were signing up for s’mores, sing-alongs, and capture the flag… instead, they got two days of “training” and a crash course in...

Camp Month Continues! Black Week drags us deep into the backwoods of West Virginia, where a Father-Son camping trip meant for bonding and fresh air takes a hard left into nightmare fuel. Instead of s’mores and star-gazing, they run headfirst into racist locals, a backwoods cult hopped up on drugs, and a monster with disturbingly good rope skills. What follows is a brutal fight for survival—and a f...

It’s Week 2 of Camp Month and we reach our ThisCentury pick: Deer Camp 86! What an exciting time for hunting, racism and dude bros in northern MI. How can I, a Detroit native pass up a film with the tagline: “They should’ve stayed in Detroit where it was safe!” And seriously, they should’ve stayed have. Either way, push play and listen to the story of 5 dude Bros, drunk AF, with dangerous weapons...

It’s the last month of summer so before school starts, we’re going to camp! That’s right folks, it’s Camp Month 🏕️☀️🎣 We’re playing camp games, eating gross camp food, getting incessantly bullied cuz we don’t have tits yet AND some of us are getting murdered 😳 Join me for the rousing tale of Sweet Baby Angela, Camp MVP Cousin Ricky amd and a whole slew of adults that should be arrested if they h...

In our final week of SharkMonth, we’ve made it to our Shark related sequel for #SequelWeek! Clearly you see what I selected: Shark Attack 2! This movie feels like if Miami Vice took place at an aquarium and Crockett & Tubbs were investigating sea crimes whilst falling in love. Complete with smooth, smooth stock R&B melodies accompanied by warm sunsets and Crocodile Jack! This one’s a doozy but you...