Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

Scott procrastinates in real time, for an unprecedented second time, about using his new Waterpik Water Flosser. And vows to “Say the Say and Do the Do”, in the first time that phrase has ever been spoken. Tom creates a Clio Award winning montage of active, happy people playing sports, and sampling fun food and drink, with the big reveal, “I’m A Procrastinator”.

Tom and Scott introduce Coin The Phrase, our lobbying effort to finally pay phrase creators, who have previously not received recompense for their work. And Tom is asked to pick the background music for his house video, and fears he will be blamed if that music causes the house to linger on the market.

Scott implores the scientific community to “embarrass us with one more rich”, by inventing a way for those who test positive to find out “How they Got It.” Plus, we propose making money through word investing, where you create a word and reap the profits every time someone says it.

Tom and Scott think it’s a good thing to live in the past, but even though you can get a great deal on a medieval castle, they don’t recommend moving to the past. Renting in the past is a better option. Plus, will the teepee placed in the kid’s bedroom by Tom’s stagers cause his house to be canceled?

Scott and Tom never imagined they would ever be considered math geniuses, but after analyzing the cliches “In No Time” and “No Time Flat”, they can picture eager MIT brainiacs feverishly writing the applicable math formulas on a CinemaScope sized blackboard, while they sit in the back of the classroom nodding approvingly. Can a Nobel Prize in math be next?

Tom fears being asked to be the captain of a nuclear submarine, which may be unlikely, but You Can’t Rule It Out, which could be an early 70’s game show with Tom Kennedy as host. Scott ponders whether he would perform a one nighter on a submarine if the money was right. And then both of them realize it would be inevitable that after Scott’s successful show, Tom, not Scott, would be asked to captai...

Tom has to leave his house for eight hours, so the “stagers” can completely redecorate it in a style that’s the antithesis of his design tastes. But hopefully the teepee and ceramic cactus in the newly created kid’s bedroom will add hundreds of thousands to the sale price.

Tom and Scott pitch a 1959 Twilight Zone where a man wishes for the biggest check in the world, and gets a football sized one that is impossible to cash or deposit. And we invent a partial cure for procrastination.

On Earth Day, Scott creates an ad campaign “Walking is the best step you can take to save the environment.” And “Your footprint can reduce your carbon footprint.” Plus, Tommy proposes Throwback Thursdays for press conferences, where Jen Psaki can wear a 1940’s outfit like Rosalind Russell wore in The Front Page.

Scott walks the walk and talks the talk about walking. Will that lead to being named the head of the currently nonexistent President’s Commission on Walking? About what about Tom’s vision for a gigantic monument to The Pedestrian that will also serve as a bridge across the East River?

Since there’s no time like the present( except the seconds before and after), Scott decides, for the first time in almost two years, to start reading a book. Now that he is 23 pages in to The Boys Club by Erica Katz, will he be invited to speak at q and a’s at the Strand and Rizzoli, and sign copies of other people’s books?

As he prepares to move, Tom feels the weight of the world on his shoulders as he decides what to do with a coffee table book the size of an actual coffee table. Scott creates a new job, Premise Supervisor, who performs spot checks to ensure comedians aren’t using outdated references in their premises. So, no Eastern Airlines setups. Plus Tom suggests a new profession as well, a Praiser, who unlike...

Tom prepares to sell his LA home of 18 years, which you could have found out on Zillow. But he reveals something you can’t look up. The meaningful index number(MIN), of the house is a whopping 114. The house has an ocean view, but Tom eschews the notion of taking the ocean with him and putting it into storage.

Tom and Scott’s carefree brunch at Friend of a Farmer confirms why brunch is the happiest meal. But then later, Tom faces a tension filled high wire act that requires him to take many uncharted steps to find the concert tickets he purchased from a third party seller.

We marvel at the space age wonders of an IPhone, which allows the common man to take photographs suitable for framing at your finer galleries. And Scott relives a moment in time around 25 years ago, when a disposable camera at a party led to an unnecessarily guilt ridden experience.

We propose having only dentists as pundits on news shows, even on topics that they’re not familiar with. But we urge them not to do their “hits”, while performing dental surgery. Finally, we coin a new and hopeful expression, “Let’s agree to agree.”

Tom and Scott take off on a Catskills Getaway, filled with scenic adventures and madcap hilarity! From an involuntary tour of a piano museum, to the couple that follows us wherever we go in Hudson, New York, this is an audio travelogue for the ages.

In the latest installment of “The Q and A Sessions”, Tom and Scott fondly describe last night’s interview and Q and A they attended, with the brilliantly funny illustrator, Edward Sorel.at Rizzoli bookstore. And in a stirring moment, Scott overcomes his Q and A shyness and confidently asks a question!

Six years ago, Scott began to notice pinholes, at the bottom of his T shirts. What could be causing these mysterious holes, usually four or five of them in the same general location? In a “whatdunit” of thrilling proportions, Tom and Scott put on their detective hats to try to solve this mystery!

Tom and Scott, along with other free thinkers, have long called for making Daylight Savings Time permanent, which the Senate unanimously did yesterday. Did our podcast musings influence their historic vote, or should credit go to Chicago and their hit song, “Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?”Either way, Tom and Scott are now Time Historians, and as such may already have received e-mail invitation...

A coffee misadventure leads to slapstick comedy but also a more nuanced tale of heroism. Scott is a Keurig user while Tom is a coffee aficionado. Should Tom pen a coffee column in a local Catskills newspaper called “What’s Brewing?”

Our podcast is a Tale of Two Hosts. Tom spends countless hours devouring CNN, MSNBC and Fox News, while Scott limits his intake to 30 minutes of BBC World News, DW and France 24, for a decidedly European flair. Are either one of them News junkies? Or both? The answer may or may not surprise you.

The State of our Podcast is strong, and it only took us two minutes to explain that, including our non rebuttal response. There was no “laundry list” of things we’ve accomplished, because we challenge the very existence of such a list. Does anyone write down all of the clothing items in their laundry bin before they do their laundry?

History is made as Tom and Scott perform their first live performances together at an Off Off Broadway theater. The enthusiastic audience was in on the ground floor of a cultural milestone, and since the theater is in the basement, they were actually in on the floor below the ground floor.

Tom and Scott once again move into Nobel Peace Prize consideration, as they advise President Zelensky to pretend he’s still acting in his hit television comedy Servant of the People. Because the best way to defeat the anti-comedian Putin is through laughter. We also propose a peaceful solution to the conflict, by having Ukraine and Russia each produce a half hour comedy show and see which country...