Getting Off with Natalie + Rocky

When you’re sharing intimacy with someone, do you really feel seen and valued? That’s the question we’re asking today. This could mean anything from your partner giving you a compliment or keeping the light on, to how you feel about each other in the day-to-day of your life together. So much of what sex is doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with the relationship, the connection, the communica...

It’s common to feel a strong urge for intimacy, but it can sometimes happen when sex is unavailable to you. The reasons for that could range from just being single to being in a committed relationship but your partner is ill or not on board. We’re going to talk about some simple things you can do to get what you want without having to feel like you’re forcing it. While the need may feel sexual, it...

What is attraction really about and why does it sometimes fade? How much of it is purely physical? That’s the topic today and we’re going to go deep into what magnetic attraction is and how to build it. While attraction can often be considered mostly physical, true magnetism happens and stays strong when both partners are strong and sturdy in their own self-care, self-love, and knowing how to fill...

Today we’re visiting with Damien Bohler, founder of Evolutionary Relating, the art of relating that leads to so much possibility, so much potential, so much joy and beauty and love. Damien is a self-proclaimed pragmatic visionary. He has very big visions for where we can go as humanity, but he’s also fascinated by the day-to-day processes of getting there. The way this works in relationships is li...

Sensual confidence - what is it, and how is it different from sexual confidence? To start with, sensual by definition means to experience something through all of the senses. Having that radiance isn’t the same as flaunting your sexuality - it inspires respect and adoration rather than lewdness. The problem is, many women are told and taught to dim their light - for their own safety, of course. Wh...

We’ve brought up many, many times the fact that emulating porn does not lead to good sex. In this episode, we’ll dig into why and what’s actually necessary for good, connected, intimate, quality sex. The standard set by porn is unrealistic and not likely to give either party much pleasure. Although men are more visually stimulated, actually trying to follow the marathon pounding of porn isn't the...

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains content involving sexual assault. We’ve been hinting at a kink episode for several weeks now, so here it is! Kink isn’t necessarily the same as an inhibition, but the definition and expression varies from person to person. Kinks are rooted in our experiences in life and there are certain things that shift our attraction to one thing or another. The world of k...

Today we’re going to get into where we can go with everything we’ve been talking about - and why we’re having these conversations in the first place. Play and pleasure so often get put last, but we’re here to help more people get more enjoyment, connection, love, sex, vibrance, peace and vibrance in their lives. We have both learned a lot about ourselves and each other just since we started this p...

For true pleasure to happen, connection has to be there too. One does not equal the other. Today we’re going to talk about how and why pleasure can happen more frequently and richly with better connection. Disconnection can happen in a bunch of different ways: Avoiding the hard conversations Repeating the same dynamic in every relationship Having to “buck up” and “be a man” and avoid all feelings...

Today we’re getting into the concept of play and fun, both in the bedroom and outside. There are some things that get in the way of really having fun and exploring that we’re going to talk about today. This can include: Compartmentalizing Lack of safety Lack of communication Like almost everything we talk about, creating safety is key. If you feel safe, it’s easy to be in that fun, playful, silly,...

This is a big question that we work with all the time. Unfortunately, people tend to know more of what they don’t want than what they do want. So, how can we figure out what we like and what we want? It may be as simple as opening up the conversation about trying new things with your partner and creating the safe environment for that. This isn’t the same thing as telling them what you want to try...

There’s a lot of messages in our culture that pleasure isn’t important and should only be enjoyed after all the “productive” things are done. There tends to be a lot of shame around seeking pleasure because it’s sort of a forbidden fruit. In this episode, we’re going to explore why it’s important to reconnect with pleasure in general, what gets in the way, and what we can do about it. When we’re d...

Today we’re going into some detail about what Natalie’s blow job course is really about and the bigger picture of why so many men tend to want, and even expect, deep throat. Penetration is a natural impulse and desire, but it’s important to recognize when it’s been warped into a shadow version of itself that’s capable of causing harm. Often, sexual preferences can come from traumatic experiences d...

It can feel very natural to let a man lead. There are also times when a person who’s often in a leadership position wants a break from that and it’s a nice change of pace. So, the question is, how do we know when to lead and when to allow our partner to take the initiative?  Women need to feel a sense of safety in any kind of intimacy, but guys tend to jump the gun and skip the part about lea...

A lot of us carry shame around sexuality and everything that goes with it. That’s why we’re having this conversation today. We’ll talk about where this shame comes from. Sexuality is treated like it has to be “just right” or not at all, but it’s a moving target that we’re all supposed to just understand somehow.  Sexual shame comes from many places, like religion, culture, and even politics a...

You know that feeling when you wake up and realize you don’t really know what you want? When living the expectations that we’re conditioned to follow, we’re not reflecting on what really makes us happy, what really lights us up, and what we really want from life.  Part of the work we do is to push people to really examine what they want and get used to expressing it. Having a safe container i...

Why do we sometimes get to a place when our own pleasure isn’t a priority? Not just with sex and intimacy, but all of life’s pleasures in general. What happens to get us to that place?  And how can we tell the difference between nervous anticipation and fear? Come along as we consider: Pleasure vs. obligation Societal gender roles and their effect on leadership roles in relationships Societal...

Why the blow job course? Why yoni massage? How did it all get started? In this episode we will go into deeper detail about what we offer our clients, how we came to do this work, and why. With Natalie, the blow job course started as an off-hand comment that piqued a lot of interest in other women. With Rocky, an injury forced a job change and he found a niche in teaching women how to drive a man c...

Welcome to Getting Off with Natalie + Rocky, where our mission is to help you experience more safety and enjoyment in the bedroom. First, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We are Natalie Vires - a pleasure and intimacy coach, and Rocky Peterson - a yoni massage practitioner and pleasure educator. Between the two of us, we have helped hundreds of people to deepen their relationship to their own ple...

Do you want to know what it's like to experience a life fully saturated in pleasure? Great! You are in the right place! In this podcast, we will cover how to create the kind of safety with a partner that will allow you to release your inhibitions and open up to more of what pleasure and intimacy have to offer. We're here to help you prioritize pleasure, so you can experience more satisfaction and...