Geek Accident

Labeled an outcast by his brainy family, who are small, closed minded assholes (except for his super cool, supportive gay brother), a bouncer overcomes long odds to lead a team of under performing misfits to semi-pro hockey glory, beating the crap out of everything that stands in his way and also standing in the way, forehead first, of a goddamn hockey puck. jesus, fuck. it's cringe but amazing.

Can Gordon's team win the Junior Goodwill Games in California in spite of all the set-backs?...ya know, like him getting sucked into the unrealistic spotlight that comes with coaching a team in the Junior Goodwill Games? like, seriously...who gets that kind of house and those kinds of perks when you're just coaching a hockey team made up of young kids that only won the pee wee hockey championship...

The unruly team of hockey misfits, who are now as close as dysfunctional family members, grows up a bit and receives scholarships to a prestigious prep school that totally fuckin' sucks, where they take on the snotty varsity team and yet SOMEHOW remain the Duck because they just can't fucking let go of the past!!

A self-centered Minnesota alcoholic, who is short but doesn't have aids, is sentenced to community service coaching a rag tag youth hockey team who can't even skate, so why do they even play? it's all good though. the coach sticks around to be a step-dad for a night.

A daredevil designs, operates and pimps out his own theme park with his friends in order to impress his daughter and compete with a new amusement park that opened up just down the road.

After 10 years, one pandemic, a tragic death, 12 years sobriety, and a shit load of healed injuries, the Jackass crew is back for another crusade against common sense, this time joined by some fresh meat.

Johnny Knoxville and his rag tag team of misfits finally return for the third installment of the Jackass franchise, where dangerous stunts and explicit public displays reign supreme because fucking duh they do.

Party Boy, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Steve-O's bad habits, Bam Margera, Dunn, the Three 6 Mafia, the entire population of India, T-Nigs, a whole mess of bulls, and the rest of the crew return to the screen to raise the stakes higher than ever before.

Johnny Knoxville, the gnarliest dude of all fuckin' time, and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for all of us to love and enjoy and laugh at and holy shit this movie is such a gift.

Back in Jersey, Kamala finds Kamran and protects him for whatever reason while Damage Control, the apparent villain for reasons that are not ever explained to us, stop at nothing to take him in. Nakia and Zoe share a moment, and I really want them to be happy. Bruno decides to go to CalTech, which bums us out. And Kamala is apparently an X-Man which makes no sense because she's never been an X-Man...

After a 15 minute scene that could have easily been the length of the opening montage of "Up", Kamala learns the truth about the stars that led her grandmother back to her great-grandfather at the train station. Secrets about her family lineage, as well as the truth behind the Veil are also revealed, and a tertiary character that we never really cared about dies or transports of some shit. We brie...

A time traveling scientist goes back to prehistoric times and force feeds very angry dinosaurs a magic cereal that increases their intelligence for some unknown reason. They end up in modern New York City for a series of comic adventures and some questionable moments that kids might not actually want/need to see.

Completely ditching the already established and somewhat dope supporting cast, Kamala travels to Pakistan to solve the mystery of the bangle and her family's history, all while introducing us to even MORE characters that in all reality don't seem to have much staying power. We spend some time missing Bruno.

Ahead of Aamir's awesome wedding that I wish I was invited to, Kamala may face grave consequences due to a crucial decision she makes and somewhere in the middle of it all a fight happens and then all of a sudden we gotta go to Pakistan.

A decidedly odd couple with ulterior motives and all the monopoly money in the world convince Dr. Grant to act against his better judgement go to Isla Sorna on a rescue mission, and their unexpected landing expectedly startles the island's new inhabitants because otherwise there wouldn't be a movie.

Yet another research team is sent to the Jurassic Park Site B island to study the dinosaurs there, because they didn't get close enough last time. An InGen team, however, has another, more nefarious agenda that could possibly be another bad idea.

Kamala and Bruno explore the source of her newfound powers with technology that this fucken nerd Bruno just so happens to possess. It's perfect timing too. They discover just enough at just the right time for her to survive a perilous adventure. They should also hunnit puhsint be a couple. Apparently we ship Bruno...or something.

Kamala is a superhero fangirl with an imagination, particularly when it comes to Captain Marvel; Kamala's kind of like every other teenager and feels she doesn't fit in at school or at home, but that all changes when she conveniently gets superpowers like the heroes she's looked up to.

A pragmatic paleontologist who absolutely loves progress, his archeology partner that he'll never admits he loves, and a chaostician or whatever who makes a better thriller pose than Michael Jackson could ever hope for all tour an almost complete (keyword: "almost") theme park on an island in Central America is tasked with protecting a couple of kids who won't shut the fuck up after a power failur...

When the timid and stuttering and almost definite virgin creator of a virtual reality called the OASIS dies, he pulls a Tupac and makes a posthumous challenge to all the fucken nerds that use the OASIS to find his Deez Eggz, which will give the finder his fortune, control of his world and probably a shit load of strange.

Stranded in 1955 because he couldn't do one simple thing, Marty McFly learns about the death of Doc Brown in 1885 and must travel back in time to save him even though everyone and their hot mom in high-school knows it's a bad idea. With no fuel or cocaine readily available for the DeLorean, the two must figure how to escape the Old West before Emmett is murdered by a dude who spits more than he ta...

Marc & Steven allow shared usage and 50/50 custody of Moon Knight and they must work together with Khonshu to stop Ammit the giant ass alligator. A post credit scene reveals there might be someone a little more daddy than with Marc or Steven.

Vowing to work together to both be "daddy", Marc & Steven wander through the eternal sunshine of their spotless minds to find their truth before they turn into sand statues. There's, like, some chaos and some crying and some revelation and a sacrifice and a boring ass field of weeds that's supposed to be heaven.

After a fucked up trip to 2015 because he couldn't just make a change in the present to protect his future, Marty McFly must once again visit 1955 to prevent disastrous changes to 1985, but he can't bump into his other self, and he has to wear a fedora the entire time.

Marty McFly, a 17-year-old high school student with an irrational fear of drowning at any moment, is accidentally sent thirty years into the past in a time-traveling DeLorean invented by his close friend, the eccentric scientist Doc Brown who he hangs out with some reason. Although the DeLorean is heavily featured, there is zero mention or use of cocaine, but there is minor incest.