Geek Accident

in a plot that's strikingly similar to the first movie, The Cleveland Indians are now a World Series contender, even though we all know they won the series in the last movie. but last year's spite is now replaced with another actor that's not Denzel, and bad decisions by the team's new owner (but still giant douche) Roger Dorn threaten to tear the team apart until they dig deep...realize their tal...

Boone kills his maid. Locke gets hoodwinked. Kate makes a doctor apointment. Sayid is an optometrist. the Tailies exist. Michael & Jin bond. Desmond is there. no one else does anything.

in a plot that's strikingly similar to Ted Lasso, the bitchy new owner of the Cleveland Indians (i don't think you can say that anymore) puts together a quirky, rag tag team of misfits so they'llfuck it all up and she can relocate for more money, as major league teams have no qualms doing. but when all is revealed, they dig deep...realize that their talent was there all along...and the...

Charlie makes a fat joke. Rousseau believes in curses. Claire's apparently pregnant and single. Shannon worries. Jack & Sayid blow up. Hurley hurts his mom. Leonard freaks out. Kate is speechless. Chris "The Glove" Taylor goes fucken hard.

Jin doesn't understand the assignment. Shannon gains autonomy. Locke accidentally isn't a douche. Sun drops the bomb. Sayid makes out. Sawyer throws hands. everyone points fingers. Walt avoids prison. Sun also rocks a bikini.

On the cusp of New Year's Eve, but it still feels like every other day, seven friends and a mysterious stunt-performer-turned-actor converge at a desolate ski lodge in the mountains when they are randomly hunted down by ruthless masked men and a sexy, masked woman who got lost on her way to a rave, all of whom have a cryptic, ill explained agenda.

Sawyer pisses off PETA. Locke tells a bullshit story. Christian can't pour shots. Frank's last words are haunting. Claire remembers. Kate kung fu fights. Jack chops wood. the Sox win the series.

Two neighbors drastically age their wives and and take it too far when the short one decorates his house for the holidays so brightly that it can be seen from space, and the miserable one hates filming the movie. it ends when everyone forgets how many laws were broken and come together to light up the house. Kal Pennhas an awful British accent for some fucking reason.

Davey Stone, a rather hilarious alcoholic who wakes up and chooses violence, gets off easy and sentenced to community service under the supervision of a hairy, old midget whose balls haven't dropped. Davey is then reform and abandon his bad habits after a whole bunch of deer shit in the woods.

Charlie photocopies vomit. Lucy is not a moose. Boone can't do fucken shit right. Jin gates "david & goliath'd". Claire doesn't know shit. Shannon tells it like it is. Hurley tries a eulogy. Jack hands out guns like candy. Sayid picks a bad hiding spot. Sawyer doesn't know what's going on. Ethan is swiss cheese.

Michael's an awful dad. Susan's an even worse mother. Charlie's creepin'. Shannon wants to help. Boone gives ground hugs. Locke admittedly has a point. Sayid can't read maps. Hurley shows up for a second. Brian gives away Vincent. the raft gets started. the Black Rock is mentioned. the polar bears return. so does Claire.

On Christmas Eve, three lifelong friends spend the night in New York City looking for the Holy Grail of Christmas parties but get, like SUPER distracted along the way, so what should have taken them 30 minutes took several hours, and hijinx didn't really ensue because it all could have easily been avoided. dumbasses.

after an unruly mob of Black Friday shoppers riot in the name of waffle irons, tragedy unfolds and a total milf gets scalped. a year later, a mysterious Thanksgiving-inspired killer in a silly little outfit terrorizes Plymouth, Massachusetts - the birthplace of the (apparently) infamous holiday.

it's that time again. but this time i encourage the rant. i guess you could say i live vicariously through Rebecca at times, seeing as how i never leave the state. so yeah...this one's on me. and i didn't even pay attention the whole time.

Upon his return to his father's estate, aristocrat/peeping tom/walking red flag Larry Talbot meets a beautiful woman with probably huge knockers, buys a stick for $322, attends a mystical carnival in the poo poo wetlands, and uncovers a horrifying, possibly somewhat autistic curse.

Locke makes a dad joke. Hurley takes a shit. Sawyer crosses paths. the cop makes a surprise appearance. Boone and Shannon have awful pillow talk. Kate figures out Sun. Jack is directionally impaired.

Kate needs gun training. Sayid has a cocaine fingernail. Sawyer swims in dead people water. Jack is skeptical. Rose schools Charlie. Shannon earns her keep. Sun is still living a lie. the numbers make an appearance.

Dr Henry (not Victor) Frankenstein is obsessed with assembling a vast array of dead people that he collected out of the ground (ew), and making a living being from all of the aforementioned dead people.

without batting an eye, Transylvanian vampire Count Dracula bends a naive, yet perfectly manic real estate agent to his will. they then take up residence at a London estate where Dracula sleeps in his coffin by day and he searches for potential victims/a fourth wife by night.

Christian doesn't drink enough. Locke gathers the crew. Michael is useless. Kate has another skill. Charlie tastes delicious. Jack gets his ass kicked. 23's not enough. 8 more is perfect. Claire is the chosen one. Boone unknowingly inches closer towards the sweet release of death.

Claire is in color. Sawyer acts decent. Kate sinks slowly. the psychic is unkempt. Jack doesn't believe. Shannon has a zinger. Sayid's a harbinger. Hurley starts it all. Ethan gets hit by a hot shovel.

After the devastating events of Avengers: Infinity War (2018), but before the devastating events of phase four, the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, the Avengers assemble once more in order to reverse Thanos' actions, restore balance to the universe, and completely ignore the longterm and permanent consequences of undoing something that happened five years ago but not alter...

back before Marvel shit the bed, the Avengers and their vast array of conflicting personalities were willing to sacrifice everything in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe...which eventually happens because *someobdy* (Thor) just had to gloat instead of actually take care of business. Star-Lord is innocent, and Thanos had a...

a hypochondriac hates food. Hurley cheers people up. Jack chooses golf over his patients. Sayid smells bad. Rousseau probably smells worse. Sawyers has 45 seconds of screen time. Shannon opts for skin cancer.

As Scott Lang balances being a superhero, a father, a felon, a business man, and an aspiring magician, Hope van Dyne and Dr. Hank Pym present an urgent new mission to find a lab, a component and a thesaurus, leading Ant-Man to fight alongside The Wasp (for all of 30 seconds) and uncover secrets from their past. and Michelle Pfeiffer is so sexy it's physically painful.