From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment

I was seeking for a long time. Looking to feel differently. Wanting more motivation. I tried E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Every tool and technique and all the books on productivity. But then I saw that the problem was the seeking. When I stopped looking outside of me for the answers, it all fell in to place. It was like magic! Mental wellbeing does not have to be such hard work and in this session I will...

Are you good at mood awareness? Not mood judgement or criticism but awareness. Do you know what is going on when you are in a low mood? It's low mood thinking which is likely to produce low mood words and deeds. So it might be worth waiting until the low mood passes. They do that on their own by the way! It's simpler than you think. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.sub...

Criticism comes in 3 flavours that I have seen. Criticism of others, being criticised and self criticism. They are all created in the same way from certain false ideas. The thought that there is a right and wrong way to do things, the misunderstanding about where our feelings are coming from and the idea that thinking about someone else or ourselves is ever true. No matter what type of criticism w...

Human's are meaning making beings. This is a normal and natural part of how we work. When something happens we create meaning about it but often we don't realise that we are doing that. We miss that we are creating not receiving reality. Each one of us is creating our own reality moment by moment. Making meaning all the time. It's amazing how helpful this can be. It allows us to take what we have...

Is your world shrinking? Are you avoiding things because you think they make you feel bad. Like certain people, situations and circumstances. Or are you forcing yourself to do certain things because you think you cannot be okay without them. Like meditation, journaling and yoga. Either way, are you attributing your feelings to various things outside you and deciding your life based on that? I am s...

Do we really have a choice? It can look like there is choosing happening can't it? But who is doing the choosing. The same mind which has created the options. The same conditioning deciding one thing is right and one is wrong. The same thinking which is creating all our experience. It's easy to beat ourselves up afterwards when we see things differently. But self compassion can come in when we rea...

Loneliness is the state of being lonely. Lonely is defined as, 'being unhappy because you are not with other people'. But being alone is not a prerequisite to feeling lonely. If we feel unhappy about not being with other people then that is because we have unhappy thinking about not being with other people. Everyone will feel differently. We might have a different length of time we are happy being...

Are you aware of the associations that you make? How you connect one incident to a similar one in the past. We are all doing it all the time. I did it this morning. Wrapped a story around a message. It felt awful - jittery! That was the clue. The clue that I was associating and wasn't in the present moment. From that place of awareness, it fell away (eventually). All it takes is awareness. Get ful...

Optimism is something we are encouraged to be more of because being pessimistic is not the done thing. I completed a gratitude journal for 5 years, every single day with the aim of becoming more optimistic!  But now I see this differently. Optimism is defined as, 'hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something' and pessimism as, 'a tendency to see the worst aspect of thing...

It's mental health awareness week! The most powerful word in that phrase is awareness because with awareness you can see that you are not any of the thoughts in your head, you are not what you believe you are and that you are the observer of those things. It is in the separation which awareness creates that we can see the light. The light of who we really are; peace, wisdom and love Not the thinki...

How much time do you spend inside other people's heads? Have you noticed how that can make you feel? Angry, frustrated or overwhelmed.  That feeling is telling you that what you are thinking isn't true. Your feelings are always telling you about the state of your mind in fact. When you think you know what someone else is thinking, that's your thinking creating that, not theirs. It's your thoughts...

When we are caught up in our stressful thinking and tired, we don't have clarity. Literally there is too much noise in the system. Just knowing this is helpful! Because when we realise, we might take a breath and give ourselves a minute. We didn't spot it last night when my fiancé lost his phone but we are human. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe

There is a force in the universe! It gets a lot done. It makes the earth spin around the sun, my heart beat and my lungs breath and it makes the flowers bloom. I guess it's a relief that you and I don't have to do that isn't it?  But did you know that the same force is inside you. Not just running your internal organs but there guiding you every step of the way. This force is like gravity, we all...

Should is a much over used word. I spot it in my clients quite often and in myself. It comes from a sense that something is supposed to be different to how it is. Another person's behaviour, a situation or the way we are. When we use the word 'should' it feels unpleasant and it is easy to think that feeling is coming from the person, situation or what's wrong with us. That feeling truthfully has o...

Are you aware that you are misinterpreting things all day every day? It's not just you - me too! The look on someone's face, why they are doing what they are doing or what someone is thinking about us. We think we are cameras; seeing the world as it is but we are really projectors; creating our own personal reality.  It's like we are looking at the world through personal goggles but we didn't even...

You are the universe. You have everything you need inside you. Sometimes I know it doesn't feel that way but I promise you it's true. Can you notice it in those times of calm? Those times when you are flowing through life or maybe even in a moment of emergency. They are the times when your thinking is not getting in the way. When your mind is quite, you are naturally present and there is just this...

Fixing feelings was my mission for so many years! It was exhausting! First manipulating the outside world then manipulating me! I tried every tool and technique but the feelings couldn't be fixed. But now I know that you cannot pin down a state of mind and I see that I would not want to do that anyway. You see, our feelings are a gauge; a warning system to let us know about our state of mind. They...

Discomfort has a purpose! With physical discomfort, the purpose is clear! It's to let you know that there is something to do like rest, move or seek help.  This depends on what is happening to the physical body. With psychological discomfort, the purpose is also clear but often misunderstood. Psychological discomfort is treated differently. We are encouraged to dumb it down and supress it. Imagine...

Feelings! If we could just understand this one thing about ourselves, it would be truly transformational. Then we could stop trying to control them. Imagine taking that off your plate. Think about all the things we do to control our feelings. Drinking, smoking and eating chocolate but also tapping, journaling and meditation. But this is all unnecessary! Feelings are just information! They are your...

Toxicity from our environment is much spoken about these days and I don't mean the kind that we can inhale or get from our food. I mean the kind that we are being told is in our circumstances. Toxic workplaces, toxic relationships and even toxic rooms. But have you ever wondered what this is actually pointing us towards? It's telling us that the feelings we feel can come from outside of us. This j...

We are talking too much about stress management. It is causing people to look in the wrong direction towards the following lies.  1. That stress comes from the outside world. 2. That we can remove stress by doing things. 3. That any feeling e.g. calm needs to be sought outside us. This is missing the truth. Stress is created by a lot of stressful thinking, stress management adds more thinking into...

'I am not creative!' is something I really used to believe. I carried from childhood into adulthood. I thought creativity wasn't my thing. Perhaps you can relate. It sounds like something which could hold us back. An unhelpful bit of insecure thinking.  But there is something much deeper to see here. It's the creating we don't know we are doing all day every day. The creation of our thinking which...

How do you know which of your thoughts is true? Perhaps you have never considered that question. I know I hadn't and I used to believe it all. Every single thought which passed through my head. My thoughts about other people, the future and myself. Every single one of them appeared true to me.  But really there are very few things which are actually true and none of the things in the list above ar...

There seems to be a lot of people feeling stressed at the moment. I have a deep level of compassion for them all. I have been there. The long term stress I experienced led to burnout. I didn't work for a year. But now I know the truth about stress. Listen whilst I share this secret with you. Stress does not come from the outside world. It doesn't come from your job, your relationships, from the ne...

Communication is something we are doing all day every day. Have you noticed when don't communicate well. When you have a lot on your mind, you're upset or angry or when it feels like you need the other person to see it your way. And have you noticed the not nice feeling which comes with that. That feeling isn't telling you about the other person but it is telling you about your state of mind. But...