From DEVASTATED to DIVORCED: Your guide through the unwanted end of a marriage.

In this episode, I share my very honest thoughts about Love Island and why I struggle to watch it. While I understand it's entertainment, I can't help but question the relationship dynamics it celebrates and the messages it sends about love, self-worth, and how people should treat one another. From disrespect and emotional games to the way women are often expected to tolerate behavior they shouldn...

In this episode, I revisit one of the romance novels I loved in the 1990s and was surprised by what I saw through today's lens. What once felt romantic now looked very different, filled with relationship dynamics and red flags that I barely noticed years ago. It made me wonder how the books, movies, and love stories we grew up with may have quietly shaped our expectations of relationships without...

In this episode, I react to a video in which a famous young woman defended herself and her husband after viewers criticized footage of her carrying multiple bags while pushing a stroller as he walked behind her empty-handed. What caught my attention wasn't the video itself, but the response: "Since when did women become incapable of carrying their own bags?" It sparked a larger conversation about...

In this episode, I explore a piece of relationship advice that has been making the rounds: "Stay until you hate him." While I understand the thinking behind it, I can't help but wonder if we're aiming for the wrong destination. Do you really need to reach a place of resentment, bitterness, or emotional exhaustion before giving yourself permission to leave a relationship that isn't meeting your nee...

This week, I'm revisiting a conversation from the archives that feels just as relevant today as it did when it was first recorded. Long before the podcast became From Devastated to Divorced, I sat down with a couple close friends to discuss a concept known as "kin keeping"—the often invisible work of maintaining family relationships, remembering birthdays, organizing gatherings, checking in on rel...

In this episode, I discuss a topic that sparks surprisingly strong opinions: child support arrears that are paid years later, sometimes after a child has already become an adult. When that money finally arrives, who was it really meant for? The child who has grown up, or the parent who spent years covering the expenses that should have been shared all along? This conversation explores the purpose...

In this episode, I share a more personal and honest conversation about child support and the role it played in helping me rebuild my life after separation. I talk about the stability it created, the breathing room it gave me as a mother, and why I think it’s okay to acknowledge when support truly helped you move forward. This is not about bragging or comparing experiences, especially knowing many...

In this episode, I explore the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” and why I think we may have been looking at it the wrong way all along. So often after rejection or a breakup, we immediately internalize the ending and turn it into a statement about our worth. But sometimes a relationship ending really is about the other person, their emotional limitations, their readiness, their needs, or simply inco...

In this episode, I share my thoughts on teen romance TV shows and movies, and how the relationships they portray often lean more toward chaos than connection. Looking at these stories through an adult lens, it’s hard to ignore how much drama, insecurity, and emotional imbalance are presented as normal or even romantic. This conversation explores how these portrayals can shape expectations for youn...

In this episode, I talk about a phrase many women find themselves using to justify staying in a relationship that doesn’t fully meet their needs: “but he’s not a bad guy.” While it may feel like a reasonable standard, this way of thinking can quietly shift the focus away from your own experience and what you actually need in a relationship. This conversation explores the difference between someone...

In this episode, I revisit last week’s conversation about effort in relationships and share a personal story that made me pause and reflect on my own assumptions. There was a time when I interpreted a missed gesture as a lack of care, but with more context, I realized there was more going on beneath the surface than I had allowed myself to see. This episode explores how quickly we can create meani...

In this episode, I react to a video I came across on social media where a woman asked her husband to choose her birthday cake so she wouldn’t have to make another decision. What he brought back, a children’s dinosaur cake, sparked a lot of thoughts for me around effort, intention, and how we interpret moments like these in relationships. Was it harmless, thoughtless, or something deeper like low e...

In this episode, I revisit the classic children’s book The Giving Tree with a very different perspective than I had growing up. Reading it now, through the lens of relationships, self-worth, and emotional balance, I couldn’t help but see a dynamic that feels less like unconditional love and more like one-sided giving. This conversation explores what happens when giving becomes self-sacrifice, how...

In this episode, I talk about what can happen when you enter a new relationship after divorce without fully doing the emotional work first. Instead of feeling secure and present, many women find themselves anxious, waiting for things to go wrong, and constantly trying to protect themselves from being hurt again. This conversation explores how unresolved pain and unclear self-worth can quietly sabo...

Let’s talk about that messy, uncomfortable, totally normal stage of post-separation life—the one where you feel like a stranger in your own skin. Who are you now? What comes next? Rebuilding your confidence after separation isn’t about pretending to have it all together—it’s about giving yourself permission to grow, stumble, and learn along the way. - - - - - - - - - - - - Want that chapter checkl...

In this episode, I reflect on a simple but powerful mindset shift I heard from Seth Godin, replacing the word “but” with “and” when talking about your thoughts and emotions. After heartbreak or separation, it’s easy to feel like you have to choose between conflicting feelings, like being strong or struggling, missing someone or knowing it’s over. But healing doesn’t work that way. This conversatio...

In this episode, I reflect on something that doesn’t get talked about often in divorce conversations: the quiet role of a healthy ex. Over the past 14 years, my ex-husband’s partner has barely had to think about me, and that’s exactly the point. There’s been no drama, no confrontations, and no attempts to insert myself into their relationship. I share why being a “non-issue” in your ex’s new life...

In today’s episode, I’m revisiting an earlier conversation about the difference between skepticism and cynicism when it comes to love, dating, and relationships after heartbreak. When you’ve been hurt, it’s natural to question people’s intentions, and a healthy dose of skepticism can help you stay aware and protect your heart. But cynicism is different. Instead of helping you stay grounded, it can...

In this episode, we explore what forgiveness really means after betrayal and why it cannot simply be declared with words. True forgiveness shows up in behavior, in how you speak, respond, and treat the people connected to the past hurt. Before allowing someone back into your life, it’s important to ask whether resentment is still quietly influencing your actions. If old pain continues to surface t...

In this episode, I share my thoughts on the Netflix show Love Is Blind and what it reveals about self-worth in dating. Watching the women on the show, I couldn’t help but notice how easy it is to lose sight of your own needs when the goal becomes getting chosen. Instead of asking whether someone truly fits you, it’s tempting to reshape yourself to fit what you think someone else wants. This conver...

In this episode, I reflect on a recent divorce announcement from a public figure who shared that she and her soon-to-be ex are still speaking daily and working through the process together. It sparked a deeper conversation about what separation can look like when there isn’t open hostility, and how, in my own experience, staying connected for a season after the initial pain settled felt supportive...

When anger escalates into rage, it can leave you feeling unsettled long after the moment has passed. In this episode, I share five steady reminders for women who have found themselves on the receiving end of someone else’s intensity. This conversation isn’t about managing another person’s emotions or assigning blame. It’s about validating your experience, honoring your nervous system’s response, a...

*** TRIGGER WARNING****   In this episode of Many Moments, Many Lessons, I reflect on a journal entry that marks a shift from contained conflict to something more destabilizing. Drawing from my writing at the time, I talk about what it felt like when anger escalated into rage, how the emotional climate of the relationship changed, and how unpredictability quietly took hold. This episode isn’t abou...

Some arguments grow far beyond the issue that started them, leaving you wondering how things escalated so quickly. In this episode, I walk through five signs that a conflict may be fueled by unresolved resentment rather than the present situation. If you’ve ever felt like one moment opened the door to many others, this episode offers language and clarity without telling you what to do next. - - -...

In this episode of Many Moments, Many Lessons, I revisit a journal entry that captures what it’s like to apologize in good faith, only to realize that the conflict was never really about the moment in front of you. I reflect on how unspoken resentment can snowball beneath the surface, making sincere apologies feel ineffective or dismissed. This episode explores the confusion that comes from respon...