Friends Abroad Relationship School Podcast

Day 30 April Intentional Healing 1. SIFTSEM tool benefits Awareness of triggers and triggering situations. Awareness of pretriggers and cognitive distortions that lead to behaviours. Solutions for situations you encounter. Management of triggers Minimising triggers Eliminating impact of many triggers. Reducing impact of some triggers. Parenting before triggers. Avoiding triggering situations 2. Da...

Day 29 April Intentional Healing 1. Being in the moment or the power of now! Focusing on what is in front of you This is a Stoic concept. However, the Stoics had different tools which worked together to improve presence. We also require the best approach and tools. Without tools and an understanding of what it means to be present, we can bypass emotions. Being present requires practice of self-par...

This month was building up to this day. This was my birthday gift to you! Day 28 April Intentional Healing When you are triggered, it can mainly be due to different perspective. Whether it comes in the form of a behaviour, a thought or an attitude, that is where you feel negative emotion. When you parent yourself, looking into your thoughts and root cause. Then consider what you would like to hear...

Day 27 April Intentional Healing In each moment learn to ask yourself whether you are in danger or you have a choice to make the best response. Being triggered is to human, but being reactive is on the other side of being responsive. If there is a physical attack coming your way, yes, you are in danger, so run! Or find a way to lock doors or defend yourself where there is no other choice. However,...

Day 26 April Intentional Healing In each situation ask your what your role, contribution or input is. Learn to step back and observe your situation from a 3rd party's perspective. Is there anything you are doing or not doing that is contributing to the deterioration of a situation? What can you do differently. Journal a SIFTSEM. Take steps to change. Evaluate yourself daily. 2. Daily Evaluation As...

Day 25 April Intentional Healing 1. Relationships require time Invest in yourself to know yourself first. When you understand yourself, you can get an idea of the importance others put in their wants. When you invest in yourself, you appreciate that requires work. This is why self-love allows others freedom. When you meet someone, do not rely on superficial data. Invest in getting to know someone....

Day 24 April Intentional Healing What are we trying to achieve and how do we achieve it when we do this work? We apply emotional intelligence for healing. Emotional intelligence is our expected outcome also. Self awareness- Emotional awareness Confidence - Inner child work and trigger management or SIFTSEM. Self-management - SIFTSEM, self-care and other self-management tools. Emotional self-contro...

Day 23 April Intentional Healing Why you react or has the need to act on something urgently Anxiety, Urgency and Control Do you need to do anything right now. To decide right now. Or to take action right now. Is this a life and death situation or is it your anxiety? Can you not wait or can you allow time to process the situation? To act from a place of clarity. Aggression towards a partner or chil...

Day 22 Intentional healing work 1. Topic today Self-parenting requires self-compassion Have compassion for yourself in any situation. Do no harm to yourself. In that you do not harm others. Look into ways to regulate and manage yourself To minimise triggers. To manage triggers. To soothe. Have a compassionate conversation with yourself. Write a self-compassion letter to yourself. Speak kindly abou...

#selfreparenting Communication of a pathological nature- An epidemic "I just blurted it out! It just came out unexpectedly." Accompanied with shouting, inability to address the problem directly with the person, judgemental attitudes. Walking on eggshells, saying yes instead of no or vice-versa, shutting down, repeating what someone said no to, saying things one cannot take back. Instead of communi...

Day 21 Intentional healing work 1. Topic today Parenting yourself before known distressing situations, maybe meetings with people who triggered you before, or a challenging family and work environment. Learn to use your distress toolkit. Perform a SIFTSEM Set an intention and segment intending. Create the DNA for your encounter. Soothe with hugs, gratitude and affirmations. Cathartic shake. Jaw st...

Day 20 Intentional healing work 1. Topic today Distress toolkit Emergency first aid box for psychological emergencies If you are hit by a crisis, what do you do? Do you have a kit to use in those moments? Physical? Grounding object you carry around? A Physical exercise such as carthartic shake, or deep breathing? Touch, hugs, a cuddly toy? Psychological Any specific approach you can trigger in tho...

Day 19 Intentional healing work 1. Topic today Dichotomy of control The most powerful concept you will require to live a peaceful life. Accept what happens. Focus on what you can control or manage. Your emotions, thoughts, decisions, actions , choices Recognise what you can influence or make recommendations. Let go of what is outside your control, including what others decide or what they choose t...

Day 18 Intentional healing work 1. Topic today Root cause analysis Everything that you see has a root. Everything you hear or feel or think has a root. Normalise the habit of putting a distance between yourself and your triggers to practice objective evaluation. The fruit you see from a situation started as a seed you planted. Be aware of the seeds you plant in your relationships and life in gener...

Day 17 Intentional healing work Maintain a healthy circle in and outside your romantic relationships. Prioritise these circles and allocate their functions. Adhere to these circles and be consistent. Respect other people's time and boundaries. Maintain your own boundaries. These circles will save your relationship. Avoid the habit of making romantic relationship your everything. Ask yourself these...

#selfhealersdiaries The little things children do that might end up being a problem for them in adulthood. Being overly independent when parents are not emotionally or physically available. Trying to make the parent happy when the parent is going through challenges. They entertain or try to do tasks. They avoid showing upset to please their parents. They might agree with everything without express...

Day 15 Intentional healing work Pretriggers Understanding pretriggers helps you to recognise what might be causing you to behave in some ways at certain or specific times. Pretriggers include Layer 1. unhealed traumas 2. Relationship triggers or history with someone. 3. Recent stressors 4. Lack of a self-care routine Ask yourself these questions What have you done differently today? What creativit...

Day 14 Intentional healing work Develop self-love Start with acceptance and an awareness of your shadow. Develop self-compassion That will help you to develop self respect. In turn you will learn to trust yourself as you act in your best interest What have you done differently today? What creativity have you explored? Who inspired you today? How did you love yourself with five love languages today...

Day 13 Intentional healing work Identify those things that trigger you. The stories that make you angry, irate or repulsed. The situations where you get defensive. Habits you continue with awareness that they are unhelpful Rather than run away and shelve then away, be curious. What irritates you is trying to point you at the work you need to do. Yes, you may detach, but sit with it and explore why...

Day 12 Intentional healing work Creating safety in relationships You need to be safe in your life and relationships. You can ensure safety through the way you communicate, you express your needs and the way you show up. Also, through boundaries. What have you done differently today? What creativity have you explored? Who inspired you today? How did you love yourself with five love languages today?...

Day 11 April Intentional Healing Love on three levels Many people struggling in romantic relationships might benefit from learning this concept. First level Foremost, learn to be self-reliant. To be resourceful. To be able to work out what you need, to be in a position to parent yourself. And then to recognise where you need support. Then to be able to look for fit for purpose support. Second leve...

Day 10 April Intentional Healing What have you done differently today that you noted from yesterday? What creativity did you or will you do today? How did you love yourself with five love languages today? Activity today Picture the voice or face of someone you love. What would they say to you right now, or when you are triggered? Start self-care with SIFTSEM. Morning Gratitude , meditation, deep b...

Day 9 April Intentional Healing Thoughts If you have constant negative thoughts, here is what might be helpful Your thoughts are saying something. Do not just ignore them. Or dwell on them for toi long. Balance is key. Acknowledge your thoughts, deal with them and release them. Learn self-parenting. Sit the with the thoughts. Articulate the actual trigger question. What is the story from these tho...

Love is not lip service

Day 8 April Intentional Healing Do not forget the children who are affected too on your healing journey. On your journey to seek relationships. On your journey to heal break ups. Activity today The Lions Breath Start self-care with SIFTSEM. Morning Gratitude , meditation, deep breathing, Carthartic shake, affirmations, self-hugs, tapping, cathartic shake and setting an intention. Throughout the da...