Friend Crush with Amber Akilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/YtpeBQxoROo when you think you'll never be in a toxic relationship/friendship/job again and you walk away from one and into another ... lmao 00:00 intro 01:06 - empty space is unnatural and nature will find a way to fill it 01:42 - acknowledging that you are weak in order to become strong 03:09 - flop and slay coexist 04:09 - its not just the goal its also the man...

youtube video: https://youtu.be/Y9iQ_MYCIGU never let a flop go to waste!!!!! Hegel said that negativity is precisely what keeps existence alive. Not negativity in a psychological sense, but in a philosophical sense. You don't know what positivity is without negativity. If you only had the power to do things, you would lose the ability to not do things and rest. If you only think, then your though...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0ShM2LgCVRE some thoughts on over-thinking and rumination and how i turned my depression around!!! something that i didn't mention was to challenge myself to become more solution driven in my thinking - which was kind of the catalyst for my podcast and content! i thought, if i'm going to overthink about things then i may as well try to be coherent and in a way tha...

i think it's called meta-cognition when you observe your internal relationships to external things... the relationship between self and object, rather than the object itself. i'm not denying the realities of oppressive systems and real harm, more like how you might be able to navigate them from a more empowered place so you can be hot & have fun in a way that makes sense to you!!! ~~ as always...

some thoughts on how my relationship with my hometown and childhood trauma has changed over time for anyone that might be or has struggled with something similar. its not where you're from, but your relationship to the place, the memory and the role it plays in your life that matters. let me know your thoughts too! ♡ follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ i’m on substack!!! https://s...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/Jer_eAG1q1s everyone is creating, everyone is creative!!! your desire to create is valid whether you pursue it as a hobby, side-quest, side-hustle or a career! one creative skill might take many forms in different stages of your life. sharing my thoughts and observations based on my own personal experience on how you can explore, refine and navigate your creativit...

this week’s video is a deeper dive into the first pillar of self-esteem - the practice of living consciously! The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exercises https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completion The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*) affiliate...

very delayed upload of the last baddie book club discussion session!!! i needed to optimise the audio - apologies for some of the echo but i still felt like it was important to share because so many insights were shared!! thank you to the baddies that attended and bravely shared their thoughts. based on this section of the book: Readings 2: Living Consciously and Self-Acceptance Reading: Part II I...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/ndawrsGy3F4 please share how your journey with creating/consuming/compensated and participating has or is evolving!!! 0:00 01:27 - define the terms/auditing your consumption habits - consumer, creator, compensated, participant 03:13 - define being hot & having fun according to your core values 04:04 - check for energy leaks 04:25 - doing things with budget res...

recording of a tiktok/youtube live on 24.02.2026 ! video version: https://youtu.be/xIduRHUSvUM 00:00 - recent obsessions 02:00 - being a woman in corporate 07:15 - dealing with insecure/intimidated women 08:03 - navigating a flop era 10:22 - current fave beauty products 11:56 - not taking things personally/detachment 14:56 - talking stages 15:45 - freelancing 17:26 - somatic exercises 17:51 - comp...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/bJ1Ow4RFuW4 the irony of me filming this a week before that sh*k video oop at least you know i practice what i preach hehe you life and your journey is for you to own. other people can disagree and say you're problematic but even then, no one is going to be strong-armed into a better version of themselves. even the most problematic people from your point of view n...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0doV1ZWLOKM part two of the 2020 Love, Lust & Loathing Q&A!! thank you for your patience ~ make sure to watch the first video on limerence too! 00:00 00:10 - navigating female friendships when decentering romance 03:23 - maintaining sovereignty while dating 06:54 - my perspective on romantic love and pressures to settle down or be in a relationship 11:30 -...

Recording of the second discussion group for part 1 of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden ~ Baddie Book Club! We discuss reflecting on times where we've noticed we've had low self-esteem, dealing with uncertainty that comes with transition periods after break-ups and during gap years, having self-compassion for your former self, how to integrate "failure" into our definition of su...

ok so i originally said this was going to be one long video with an accompanying substack article - now it will be a few videos with one or more substack articles… stay tuned! i hope you enjoy the first instalment of the 2026 love, lust & loathing valentine’s day series! this started as a mix series on soundcloud (you can still listen to the previous mixes) but in 2024 i added a lil Q&A wh...

audio recording of our first baddie book club discussion session!! thank you to the baddies who attended and shared their questions, thoughts and feelings! if you would like to join the baddie book club, please join us on patreon! i am re-working the reading schedule and am open to hosting additional discussion sessions to accommodate different timezones. let me know!!! ♡ please share your own ins...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/DhFmgfKp73Q?si=D7aWmgHwrbQueGq3 outlining some ideas around different types of connection and social circles - this is just a starting point and i actually found out about aristotle's 'types of friendship' (pleasure, utility, virtue) after filming this video and there's a lot of parallels between what is discussed in the video, so i would say its kind of like an e...

my thoughts on the people pleasing dynamic. i think healthy, balanced relationships take more work that we are willing to admit and it starts with your relationship with yourself first :') more thoughts to come!!!! let me know yours too!!! 01:10 1. people pleasing dynamic 02:29 2. connotations of people pleasing 03:46 3. re-defining love 04:07 4. underlying mindset 04:42 5. being questioned/dismis...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/e4hrPViYKK8 using an analogy about food to talk about transactional relationships and energy exchange. often times we are too externally focused on how other people behave and guessing their intentions. in reality, i feel like when you are locked in on what YOUR intentions are and contributing/giving/showing up from an authentic place, you take everything less per...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/boT5swEW5vs if you've been following me for a while, you'll probably have heard me reference and recommend this book over and over. the six pillars of self-esteem by nathaniel branden literally changed my life, it put so much of what i was struggling to put into practice, into words and actionable steps. i can't recommend this book enough!!! rather than just repea...

i’ve been going on about the importance of a non-negotiable hobby for ages and i’ve also had a lot of questions about pole dance so this is a video that covers both!! 01:05 - non-negotiable hobby: defined 05:40 - my journey with pole dance 08:39 - dance & sexuality/sexuality 10:36 - the power of consistency & practice 11:06 - static vs spin pole 11:39 - tricks vs choreo 13:16 - buying heel...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/fCgEU8hkT2A i get a lot of questions about how to handle conflict with parents. while i can't speak to the nuances of every relationship, here are some thoughts and feelings that i hope might be applicable or helpful. i know the holiday season can be really overwhelming for some people and i think there are ways we can prepare so that we aren't wasting too much en...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/l2Fnj9WalcU trying is cool !!!!!! 01:26 - nonchalant definitions & connotations 02:46 - the opposite of nonchalant 04:13 - what being “chalant” requires of you 05:22 - don’t compare their end result to your first step 06:05 - familiarize yourself with the discomfort of progress 06:51 - what is the value you want in the process vs the outcome 07:37 - the only p...

an intro to how i think about and practice awareness around patriarchal conditioning, internalised misogyny and de-centering men. a very complex topic which i hope we can further explore together. for many women the only thing between them and their next slay is a man or the imagined gaze of a man........ let's de-condition together!! i have a patreon only video about recent encounters that made m...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/vOWAI0hOp-M hi baddies ~ here are some thoughts for anyone feeling overwhelmed about their job and how it fits into their identity or feel like there's something wrong with them that they don't feel 'passionate' about their job. obviously this is a very nuanced topic and this is just one perspective. let me know what you think, share your experiences and let me kn...

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/8Opz3x8ws48 be mindful of who you give vibe donations to!!!! 01:57 - 1. low vs high vibrations 05:09 - 2. self-awareness 06:12 - 3. superficial connections 07:16 - 4. vibe donation 10:44 - 5. check for blindspots 13:37 - 6. define the vibe you want for your life 16:06 - 7. negging 17:58 - 8. emotional voids 18:52 - 9. protect yourself 19:47 - 10. what is being exc...