Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail I’m super excited today to have Andrea Ashley as my guest, she’s the host of the Adult Child podcast. I was in a step study group and somebody messaged me about her podcast. I listened to the trailer and after listening to two episodes, I knew she had to be on the podcast. She shares raw stories of recovery like you rarely hear outside of a meeting and she’s also able to pull conc...

Send us Fan Mail I’m kind of surprised that boundaries in the bedroom is just now touching the podcast; and even more surprised that I just now realized that what I am talking about in this episode is even boundaries at all. Setting healthy boundaries in all aspects of a relationship, including in the bedroom, is so important! This week’s episode 159 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about tru...

Send us Fan Mail Stop comparing yourself to others! It’s typically going to either lead you to feeling like shit about yourself, or it’ll make you feel like you’re better than others. Either way - not good. Instead, the power is in keeping the focus and the comparison on former you and where you are now. Most of us have gotten better throughout our lives, but it’s not always linear. This week’s ep...

Send us Fan Mail I’ve been asked how to find the right sponsor for you in recovery, and as a sponsor myself I thought I would also share how my process for sponsoring. Just like everything in recovery, take what you want and leave the rest. This episode covers information for those new to recovery looking for their first sponsor, as well as those deeper into their journey too. It also helps those...

Send us Fan Mail I can’t believe I have never done a podcast on the concept of info, not ammo. When you learn something negative about yourself, instead of using it as *ammunition* for you to beat yourself up, use it as *information* to integrate about yourself. This is so important especially in the 4th step inventory of 12-step recovery. This week’s episode 156 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast...

Send us Fan Mail One comment I hear all the time from people in recovery or who are trying to make big changes in their lives is, “It’s so hard!”. The hard that you’re currently living if you’re still using is actually making things more difficult unless something changes. This week’s episode 155 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to stop lying to yourself about it being “too hard” an...

Send us Fan Mail I am doing something new in this episode that I've never done before; I am resharing a conversation from a year and a half ago on the podcast Reinvention Rebels. This is the first time I was ever on a podcast and you’ll hear how fresh and new I was to my message and my own voice. I relistened recently, and there’s a lot of good information in it! That’s why episode 154 of the...

Send us Fan Mail When I did the 12 steps in my second program, after I determined my defects of character in steps 4 & 5, I was tasked with picking 4 of my top defects and do some really deep work on each of those for steps 6 & 7. I had to define very specifically what it would look like if God removed these defects. That process came in very handy this week, even years later. That’s why e...

Send us Fan Mail Probably the most important paradigm shift of my entire recovery journey was coming out of victim mentality. I had no idea I had this mentality but I could spot a victim a mile away; I thought I could save them all. When I finally discovered that I had victim mentality, it was a huge awakening; what else did I not know about myself? That’s why episode 152 of the Fragmented to Whol...

Send us Fan Mail One of the most important questions I have learned to ask myself when trying to decide what is the right thing for me to do is “What are my motives?”. Your motives really matter when it comes to your own next steps, but other people don’t care about your motives. They care about your actions. That’s why episode 151 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why your motives matte...

Send us Fan Mail Alex and I met back in 2018, and the way he articulates his story is so inspiring that I knew he had to be on the podcast. Alex is in two different 12-step programs, one for behavior and one for substance, in his case, food. That’s why episode 150 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how Alex was addicted to comfort, and his story through that recognition during recovery. S...

Send us Fan Mail I heard someone talking about their journey to starting recovery and how they didn’t ever want to surrender anything because that would mean that they would lose. I don’t believe that surrender in recovery means you lose, so I wanted to bring it to you this week. That’s why episode 149 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how surrender leads to victory!  Support the show by...

Send us Fan Mail I used to believe that if I was curious about something, I deserved to have it satisfied, or I needed to have my curiosity satisfied. Something I learned through recovery is that I don’t have to or need to have it satisfied; I’m able to NOT get closure on things. I think my strong desire to know things comes from my confusing upbringing, but now I don’t NEED to understand things l...

Send us Fan Mail One of the most powerful lessons you can learn in recovery is that you are not alone. It was recently reinforced after receiving a Postsecret email. Frank’s story of how he created Postsecret and why is incredibly moving. That’s why episode 147 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding that you are not alone!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In thi...

Send us Fan Mail I titled this episode as if it’s a command, but it’s really an option. You get to choose to stop putting the blame on others. If everyone else really is to blame for everything wrong in your life; you may as well crawl under a rock because you have no options. I don’t believe this at all. That’s why episode 146 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is keeping the focus on yourself in...

Send us Fan Mail Years before recovery I was part of a spiritual sharing circle. One of the people who was part of that same sharing circle had been in AA for a long time, and one of the things he said all the time was, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you,”. It took me a long time to figure out what that meant. I was so codependent on others that I had no idea how to wrap my...

Send us Fan Mail I got a message from a long-time listener asking for this topic in a podcast episode because she could really use some guidance on lowering your expectations. Turns out, I have 4 episodes on lowering expectations, and it’s been a huge part of my recovery and a foundational piece to my sobriety. That’s why episode 144 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the choices you have...

Send us Fan Mail There is a saying in step 10 of "The AA 12 Steps and 12 Traditions" book that I share with clients all the time, which has also been super helpful in my own recovery. A lot of people assume it means that they are always in the wrong, which isn’t true at all. That’s why episode 143 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about if I am disturbed there’s something wrong with...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever explained that the reason someone acts the way they do is simply because they are a dick? That’s exactly what I said about my father until a dump truck changed my perspective. One day as I was driving home from a recovery meeting, I saw a dump truck with two bumper stickers. Those two bumper stickers would flood my mind with memories that would eventually lead to a b...

Send us Fan Mail I first heard the phrase, “You are responsible TO your feelings, not FOR your feelings,” from the book by Cheri Huber, There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate . While I didn’t understand what it meant until I went through recovery, I now appreciate this phrase a lot. That’s why episode 141 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how you are responsible TO your...

Send us Fan Mail I met Jane Macky professionally through the Innovation to Impact project through Yale. When I heard her story I knew she had to be on the podcast.  That’s why episode 140 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about loving someone through addiction!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Jane and I are sharing the impor...

Send us Fan Mail The most important thing that I want to give you through this podcast is hope. I want you to have hope because I know from personal experience what it’s like to be without hope. That’s why episode 139 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how you can go from hating hope to loving hope in one simple practice!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode o...

Send us Fan Mail I wanted to share the message I got from a client that I believe that a lot of you will resonate with, and really how this message truly shows how to live your life on purpose. When we have healthy boundaries, we learn to trust ourselves and feel integral. When we are whole, we don’t need things from others and we can be closer to the people in your life. That’s why episode 138 of...

Send us Fan Mail Last week I shared the first 8 of 16 things I learned about self love through recovery. If you haven’t yet, I want to encourage you to go back and listen to that episode first. Episode 137 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the other 8 of 16 total self love lessons I learned through recovery!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmen...

Send us Fan Mail If I had to boil down the 12 steps to recovery into one thing, I would say it all has to do with learning to love yourself. Now that I’ve grown to love myself, I can look back and see where I have put in that effort. That’s why episode 136 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the first 8 of 16 things I learned about self-love in recovery!  Support the show by becoming a Pat...