Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail I woke up in the middle of the night and felt compelled to record the thoughts that were running through my head. I wanted to do this to share with you the constant mindset shifts and revelations I have as a result of my recovery journey. This week’s episode 234 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my random recovery ramblings from the middle of the night! Support the show...

Send us Fan Mail Every relationship has some type of irreconcilable differences and you are never going to be able to change these things about your partner or turn them into a different kind of person. The way we negotiate how we’re going to handle these differences directly determines the quality of our relationships. This week’s episode 233 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about two tips f...

Send us Fan Mail I’ve come to realize through recovery that, even though I’ve always been a positive and optimistic person, I did a ton of ruminating about the past and catastrophizing about the future. This week’s episode 232 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about what ruminating and catastrophizing are and the tools to stop! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode o...

Send us Fan Mail I am reminded of the question, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?” I know for a fact that before I was in recovery, I wanted to be right. After recovery, my priorities have shifted drastically. This week’s episode 231 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about tools for how to enjoy your vacation! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this epis...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s guest genuinely had an incredible full-circle journey from addiction at a young age, dropping out of high school, getting her G.E.D. and later her Ph. D. to teaching the next generation of supporters for those in recovery. This week’s episode 230 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how Melissa went from G.E.D. to Ph. D. Support the show by becoming a Patreon member...

Send us Fan Mail I think of gossip as an anti-intimacy campaign. Patterns of gossip truly prevent any type of real intimacy from forming between people.  Gossip is the perfect example of “anti-intimacy” because when you talk about people who are not in the room, you’re not talking about yourself or the other person.  That means neither of us are learning about each other. It takes away from being...

Send us Fan Mail If you want to go from being a reactor (reacting to things) to an actor (taking an active role) in your life, then focus on what you want and less on what you don’t want. This is living on purpose. People with healthy boundaries live on purpose.  This week’s episode 228 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about mastering your focus by shifting to focus on what you want, not what...

Send us Fan Mail I’ve come across so many people over the years who felt like they had to continue going to 12-step meetings that weren’t healthy for them or that they had to do everything in their power to save an organization or a cause. They felt that all would be lost if they stopped going or contributing. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of working hard and doing your part but I am not a bi...

Send us Fan Mail I recently had to call someone out for cross talking while I was doing a reading and surprisingly, I did not get a flood of shame or guilt for doing it. That goes to show how far I’ve come in recovery as I felt calm enforcing a boundary that I used to have such a difficult time upholding. This week’s episode 226 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about what the cross talk rule...

Send us Fan Mail I had no idea that I was a people pleaser in the past, I just thought I was nice. Through recovery and coming out of codependence, I came to realize that people pleasing is not nice, and it’s actually dishonest. This week’s episode 225 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about 5 traits of people pleasers and how they can turn into resentment.  Support the show by becoming a Patr...

Send us Fan Mail I’ve had this conversation quite a bit with people in recovery about the difference between step 4 in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) vs. other 12-step programs. In case you’re unfamiliar with step 4, it is focused on taking a good hard look at the patterns of our behavior, more specifically, looking for our part in all of the chaos, drama, and dysfun...

Send us Fan Mail One thing I’ve noticed with myself and with my boundaries coaching clients is that we have a deep seeded victim mentality and some pretty unrealistic expectations about ourselves, other people, and the world. This week’s episode 223 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how building boundaries helps you overcome victim mentality and unrealistic expectations!  Support the sho...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I continue sharing my story about how my reparenting practices have evolved considerably in the last few months. I left off part 1 talking about how I started using this new loving version of my dad that appeared to me in a visualization as an additional inner-loving parent. This week’s episode 222 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is part 2 of the evolution of m...

Send us Fan Mail As I mentioned in previous episodes, I am on a journey of reparenting myself. To those unfamiliar with reparenting, some techniques I use and share in this episode may seem crazy. Still, in all truth, they have healed me in a deep and profound way and I encourage you to be open-minded to new practices if you are also on a journey of reparenting yourself. This week’s episode 221 of...

Send us Fan Mail Your past does not equal your future. Just because you’ve made some bad choices and picked up some negative habits along the way does not mean you are stuck in this. You have the power to start making small changes today to reverse the effects of your past life and create a life worth living. This week’s episode 220 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am joined by guest Stephan...

Send us Fan Mail The whole point of the 12 steps of recovery is to have a spiritual awakening and a spiritual awakening means we have changed. As a result of my recovery, I can be, see, think, do and have that which I could not before recovery. This week’s episode 219 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to understand what a spiritual awakening is and sharing three of my personal exampl...

Send us Fan Mail {Content Warning: This episode has emotional mentions of abuse.} The thing with trauma is that sometimes it can pop up and trigger us when we’re not expecting it. Last week, I attended a concert that brought up a lot of emotional trauma for me, and inspired by others in recovery, I decided to record my vulnerable thoughts and emotions in real-time to share with you. This week’s ep...

Send us Fan Mail One of the big tasks in recovery is going from being a reactor to an actor in life, or to act ON life rather than reacting to it. This is huge and is another way of coming out of the victim mentality we often find ourselves living in. This week’s episode 217 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why pausing is so important and what to do when you pause! Support the show by b...

Send us Fan Mail What I've learned in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) is that the effects of alcoholism get passed down through the generations. Because of this, we often talk about alcoholism as a family disease because the effects are embedded in the relationships surrounding the alcoholic, affecting everyone, not just the person abusing alcohol. This week’s ep...

Send us Fan Mail When it comes to growing up in a dysfunctional family, we didn’t have the opportunity to form our true, authentic identity because we were so corrupted by the dysfunction. Now, of course, there are certain elements of us that are true and real and have always been there but there are other parts of our identity that we create as we come out of the dysfunction. This week’s episode...

Send us Fan Mail When I first got into recovery my sponsor told me, ‘If you’re not honest with me I can’t help you. You’ve got to be open-minded to the idea that there are things you don’t know and willing to do the things you’ve never done before to succeed in recovery.” This week’s episode 214 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the foundations of recovery- honesty, open-mindedness, and...

Send us Fan Mail Many of us have grown up feeling that we have to do things for others so they won’t dislike us, get mad at us, leave us, or even abuse us. We then get so deeply ingrained in this behavior pattern that we think the only way we will be okay is by getting the approval of other people. This week’s episode 213 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how we become approval seekers a...

Send us Fan Mail As I’ve mentioned previously, I am still (and forever will be) on a journey to reparent myself. Between the last time I did an episode on this topic and now, I have made some really radical and impactful internal changes that have made an enormous difference in my life. This week’s episode 212 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about nine new methods I’ve learned for reparentin...

Send us Fan Mail If you had told me years ago that boundaries were my issue, I would have never believed you. It is for that reason that I shape my content around helping others understand that their issues can be cleaned up and healed by learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This week’s episode 211 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about what life is like before and after building...

Send us Fan Mail Leading a healthy and successful intervention starts with giving people the tools they need to have an important conversation while setting healthy boundaries and communicating their truth in a respectful, open, and honest manner. This week’s episode 210 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about interventions, done differently.  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  I...