Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a powerful realization from my own recovery journey: the pattern of emotionally unavailable partners wasn’t just about who I was choosing, it was about my own emotional availability. For years, I believed I was unlucky in love. Through ACA recovery and a deep relationship inventory, I discovered how my nervous...

Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring attachment from a different angle and sharing how boundaries and recovery can actually create secure attachment, even if you didn’t grow up with it. Instead of focusing on attachment labels, we look at how internal safety, self-trust, and boundaries change the way we show up in romantic relationships. Some of...

Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 332 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m discussing something I often observe, especially during family gatherings: knowing your boundaries, understanding your patterns, and gaining valuable insight, yet still getting triggered. In this episode, I explain why that happens, why it’s not a failure, and what actually helps when your body reacts faster than y...

Send us Fan Mail In this week's episode 331 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about the invisible, unspoken rules you absorbed growing up — the ones you never agreed to, yet have been shaping your entire emotional life. I break down how these hidden rules get installed in childhood, how they operate in adulthood, and how recovery gives you the clarity and safety to finally rewri...

Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking with my long-time recovery friend, Renee N., and her story is absolutely incredible. She grew up in chaos — emotional abuse, addiction, violence, and zero safety — and spent decades dissociated and trying to survive. Recovery changed everything. Renee shares how reading the 14 Traits of an adult child made her...

Send us Fan Mail Old family dynamics can feel impossible to change, especially when you’ve spent a lifetime carrying wounds that never had the chance to heal. For years, my relationship with someone I love was distant, tense, and full of unspoken history. I never imagined that could shift… until it did. This week on the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how boundaries, emotional safety, and...

Send us Fan Mail Manipulation is often sneaky, sometimes unintentional, and rooted in fear (of abandonment, disapproval, rejection). For those in recovery, recognizing past manipulative habits—learned as dysfunctional ways to get needs met—is key. In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, we break down how manipulation is activated during the holidays, why people-pleasing IS a form of ma...

Send us Fan Mail The constant focus on things and people outside of your control is draining. I spent too many years of my life in this vicious cycle of external focus and validation, leaving me feeling like a fragmented, boundaryless version of myself. But all that changed with recovery.  This week on the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am sharing the recording of a guest appearance I did with the...

Send us Fan Mail Self-care is the very first personal boundary. It's the essential line between you and burnout, between you and your old perfectionism, and between you and the belief that your self-worth depends on what you produce. Many of us intellectually understand the need for self-care, but when we see it as a non-negotiable boundary, the entire game changes. In this week's episod...

Send us Fan Mail The bulldozer cycle, in relation to people pleasing, is the concept of feeling perpetually flattened by the demands and needs of others, trapped in a hidden cycle that leads to burnout and frustration. I’ll be the first to admit that setting healthy boundaries that lead to healing is hard but choosing to stay stuck in the never-ending cycle is harder. You’ve got to pick your poiso...

Send us Fan Mail Too many of us get caught up in perfectionism, thinking that we have to meet every requirement before we're worthy and not to put ourselves out there until we're certain we won't fail. In my case, I was caught up in believing I was “too much” until one day, I came to the realization that the very things I thought were “too much” about me were the things that made me...

Send us Fan Mail Victim mentality shows up in all areas of our lives, but when it pops up in the workplace, it can derail an entire team of people and quietly take control over the workplace. Today, I want to peel back the curtain on how the victim role can take charge, shifting the focus from what really matters and what you can do to keep your team focused and empowered. This week’s episode 323...

Send us Fan Mail The beginning of the school year is a difficult time for teachers and parents alike. Volunteer and extra curricular requests come in, calendars fill up, and before you know it, you’ve reached your capacity and your calendar is in chaos. Today, I want to give you a head start to set yourself up for a peaceful school year, protecting your time, energy, and sanity. This week’s episod...

Send us Fan Mail The reason we have rules of the road is because they're social boundaries. They exist to prevent harm, to reduce accidents and to create flow.  When everyone keeps the focus on themselves, staying in their lane, following the rules, respecting others, boundaries, things run much more smoothly. These rules translate very well to social and emotional boundaries. Today, I'm...

Send us Fan Mail Kelly Walker's story today is a powerful reminder that "the planets align" when we commit to our healing journey, even when it's terrifying. This week’s episode 320of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about when the planets align! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Kelly Walker shares her experience with a profound spiritual awakening after ye...

Send us Fan Mail What we believe is real becomes real in its consequences. And when our beliefs are negative, self-depricating, or otherwise limiting, they can create barriers in our lives. But when we rewire our brains and our beliefs shift, our behavior also shifts. This week’s episode 319 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why mindset matters more than you think: boundaries, recovery,...

Send us Fan Mail One of the most common themes I see in my clients (and something I have experienced myself) is that we literally feel other people’s feelings. We’re permeable to them because we don’t have a boundary. This week’s episode 318 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to go from permeable to protected- building an emotional force field.  In this episode of the Fragmented to Wh...

Send us Fan Mail Many of us find ourselves in this delusional thinking that the outside world could give us satisfaction, if only things went our way. The truth? There is no external solution to internal pain, and it only brings you deeper into a victim mentality. This week’s episode 317 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why controlling everything still doesn’t make you feel better! In t...

Send us Fan Mail Recovery showed me that I abused and neglected myself physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. I stayed in relationships and workplaces that were toxic, and I put up with abuse from bosses, colleagues, sweethearts, and others. This was all because I had this internalized belief from my family that you just put up with things like that. It wasn’t until I was readi...

Send us Fan Mail People tend to hear the motto “keep the docus on yourself” and think it means “be selfish.” That could not be further from the truth. It’s actually about stopping your focus on what other people, places, and things are doing (or not doing) and turning that focus inward . This week’s episode 315 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the number one boundary-setting rule: keep...

Send us Fan Mail When I started this podcast, I had no idea that it would turn into such a meaningful part of my work and my connection to you all. What started as a place for me to share my lessons and experiences through recovery turned into a place for creativity, learning, and service, and for that, I am forever grateful. This podcast has given me the opportunity to take a deeper step into my...

Send us Fan Mail Before recovery, I had no idea how many areas of my life I didn’t even perceive as having a choice in. I thought, ‘This is just the way it is; this is just how life works.’ But one of the greatest freedoms recovery has given me is learning that I actually do have choices, and the greatest of those freedoms is the freedom to choose what I think and believe. This week’s episode 313...

Send us Fan Mail For much of my life, I've known that one of my most hated human characteristics is arrogance. So, imagine my surprise when I learned in recovery that I was arrogant. Recovery also helped me understand that I hated it because it was something in me that I didn't like. And you know what we say in recovery: you spot it, you got it, and often, if you're spotting somethi...

Send us Fan Mail When my homeless friend moved in with me, we often listened to music instead of NPR, which was typical for me at the time. I came to realize that replacing politics with music shifted my mood drastically. When I was no longer filling my ears with the horrible things happening in our world, I noticed how much more at peace I felt and how much of a game changer this was for me. This...

Send us Fan Mail For some of us who struggle with addiction, we’re using our addiction to fill some type of hole we’re feeling. Today’s guest, Mark, was using his compulsive, addictive behaviors in an attempt to fill a “God-sized hole” in his life. He shares with us how recovery and finding his higher power has helped him fill that hole and soar beyond what he ever believed possible. This week’s e...