Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail I often get asked how we all got our adult child attachment and adult child trauma issues and the short answer is from not having our needs met as a child or what I used to think of as the absence of “good things” happening for me in my childhood. This can be anything from emotional invalidation or being gaslighted by our families, pretending things that are happen aren’t happenin...

Send us Fan Mail Codependency doesn’t always exist as your need for someone else to do something for you, but as you subconsciously needing someone else to need YOU in order to feel worthy and valuable. This week’s episode 184 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am sharing the realization I had myself that if you need people to need you, you’re codependent! Support the show by becoming a Patreon...

Send us Fan Mail Typically we think about gossiping as something we do about other people, however, I realized that some of the behaviors I’ve engaged in in the past might be considered gossiping about myself. In this week’s episode 183 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing that means (AND telling you to stop gossiping about yourself!). Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In...

Send us Fan Mail Denial is so pervasive and insidious that it takes a long time to come out of it.  When you’re recovering from family dysfunction, it’s one of the most important tasks you’ll have to accomplish. This week’s episode 182 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about coming out of denial! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcas...

Send us Fan Mail The need for reparenting comes up when you grow up in a dysfunctional family where the parents weren't able to teach the children healthy tools and coping skills for how to manage life. This week’s episode 181 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about 5 methods for reparenting & what that looks like for me! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episod...

Send us Fan Mail More often than not, addiction and survival traits come with this negative connotation but today’s guest wanted to bring a new perspective to the intelligence that comes with these survival tactics. This week’s episode 180 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about addiction and survival traits! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to...

Send us Fan Mail Many of us in recovery use drugs or alcohol to temporarily avoid the feeling of shame, but the thing about addiction is it fuels the shame we feel about our behaviors and leads us into a dangerous cycle. That’s why it’s so important to deal with the underlying shame, put a stop to the cycle and avoid potential relapse. This week’s episode 179 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is...

Send us Fan Mail The difference between fixed mindset and growth mindset is that if you have a fixed mindset, it means you think you are the way you are and there's no possibility of changing. Your personality and abilities are fixed. But if you have a growth mindset, you believe that change is possible, you believe your intelligence can grow, and you believe you have the ability to change yo...

Send us Fan Mail One time I was coaching a client who expressed that every time she got close to finding balance, something would happen and it would throw her off. I replied that balance is not getting to a certain point or a certain set of behaviors and staying there; it’s not a static point but rather a constant adjustment. This week’s episode 177 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about wha...

Send us Fan Mail The drama triangle is a dysfunctional pattern of interaction that perpetuates dysfunction rather than changing it. This week’s episode 176 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the dreaded drama triangle and how to get out of it! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of recognizing when...

Send us Fan Mail The thing with codependence is we feel this compulsion to get in between other people and the consequences of their behavior. When we do this, we become resentful of THEM and make THEM the entire problem when it is us who was enabling them all along. This week’s episode 175 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am sharing the story of the time Dan made me feel like a criminal when...

Send us Fan Mail When I coach my clients one of the metaphors I use with them is this idea that you can think about your precious resources of love, money, energy, and time as your “property.” I encourage them to put a boundary around that property, much like you’d put a fence around your house. This week’s episode 174 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the golden chunk of time - using bo...

Send us Fan Mail I’ve had a number of people ask me what I do on a daily basis for my recovery. After being inspired by a business podcast where the woman talked about daily success habits for successful entrepreneurs, I thought I’d share my foundational daily habits as well. This week’s episode 173 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my daily success habits that keep me happy, joyous and...

Send us Fan Mail It can be very difficult to recognize when you are in a victim mentality, but it is the most important and the first step in getting out of this mentality. I had no idea I was in a victim mentality. I could identify others who were playing the victim, and yet I couldn’t identify it in myself. It wasn’t until I started doing the steps that I realized that I had this mentality. It d...

Send us Fan Mail I hear often from people in recovery that they have a hard time with making decisions. I have found that having some methods to make decisions makes it so much easier for me. In fact, many of the tools we talk about here on the podcast are methods for making decisions. This week’s episode 171 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about five methods for how to make decisions for pe...

Send us Fan Mail Warning: This episode contains discussions of suicide, sexual assault and trauma, childhood abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, and depression. There are a lot of stigmas around addiction that stop people from getting the help they need for recovery, or even talking about their experiences. Nick knows both sides; being an addict and going through recovery, as well as helping others no...

Send us Fan Mail In 2020, I shared my top apps to keep you happy, joyous, and free. Recently, I was asked to share some more of the apps I frequently use to help keep my life and business organized while keeping things simple and fun. So, this week episode 169 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my top apps to keep you happy, joyous, and free!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member...

Send us Fan Mail I’ve been thinking a lot about consistency lately. One of the things I’m able to do now that I have been in recovery, and now that I have healthy boundaries, is I’m able to be consistent in my self-care, and I trust myself now. I was incapable of doing things consistently before recovery. This week’s episode 168 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why consistency is so har...

Send us Fan Mail I was having lunch with a friend recently and she was really agonizing over whether or not she should leave her job. She’s torn because the circumstances she’s under aren’t great but she loves the work. In recovery we have a saying that applied to this situation: “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.” That is, stop expecting someone or something to give you something they’re n...

Send us Fan Mail I heard someone ask the other day, “Are you spiritually fit, or are things just going your way?” and this past week things just didn’t go my way. This proved to me that I am far more spiritually fit than I used to be. I’ve learned to live life on life’s terms. This week’s episode 166 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about living life on life’s terms, instead of on Barb’s term...

Send us Fan Mail I was listening to another recovery podcast the other day and this other person was talking about how they had no idea where to find resources. It occurred to me that it would be beneficial to discuss the 12 step recovery process for those of you who aren’t familiar with it so you can see if it’s right for you or not. I really didn’t “get” addiction until I was in my second recove...

Send us Fan Mail When I first got into recovery, I remember saying that I was confused on where the line was between being helpful and being rescuing. I was asked what my intentions were behind my actions, and that’s how I realized that I was doing things because I was anxious about how people perceived me. Turns out, I was doing it because I was hoping others would think good things about me, and...

Send us Fan Mail There’s a thing that people in recovery like to say, and it really used to piss me off. The saying is, “Feelings aren’t facts,”. While it may be true, I know my feelings are real, and I just didn’t get it when people said this. Usually it was in an accusatory manner, like, “How dare you have those feelings!” I now have a better handle on my feelings, both in recognition and unders...

Send us Fan Mail One of the things that we’re told about recovery is that the disease is progressive; meaning, if left untreated, the disease gets worse and worse and worse. My experience is that this progressive nature is also true about codependency. I recently started thinking about how my life would be different if I was never in recovery, given how progressive things got with both my addictio...

Send us Fan Mail Caring more about what I think of myself than what others do is by far the biggest thing that has enabled me to go from having no boundaries to having really healthy boundaries. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean I don’t care at all what others think of me, but it has become lower on my list of priorities. Experimentation is required when developing healthy boundaries, and I want to...