Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail The idea that we should envy someone rather than be inspired by them is based on the notion that we can’t have what they have because what is possible for them must not be possible for us. That’s why episode 135 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about going from envy to inspiration with one simple mind shift.  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of...

Send us Fan Mail Oftentimes, the things that you notice or that bother you in others are a reflection of a trait, habit, or behavior that you have yourself and don’t particularly like.  That’s why episode 134 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about psychological projection in 12-step recovery!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast,...

Send us Fan Mail I always thought courage meant that you had no fear but rather, it’s the ability to take action in the face of fear. That’s why episode 133 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how I got over my fears because courage is contagious!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of being courag...

Send us Fan Mail Peace is important to me and I have learned that I cannot have that peace if I don’t live in the present moment and accept what is actually happening rather than what I wanted to happen instead. That’s why episode 132 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about overcoming disappointment so that you can have peace!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode o...

Send us Fan Mail What I learned from the process of recovery was that deep down inside, I wanted someone to rescue me. Instead, I’ve learned to show up and take care of myself. That’s why episode 131 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about letting go of your expectations of others and meeting your own needs!  Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  In this episode of the Fragmented to...

Send us Fan Mail Subscribe to our Patreon channel to get the video of this episode!!! Instructions below. Today's guest is Robin McIntosh, Co-CEO & Co-Founder of Workit Health which provides online drug and alcohol treatment with medication. Robin shares of her idyllic childhood that was ruptured with tragedy. She learned of the generational abuse of alcohol in her family at that time, th...

Send us Fan Mail I share a couple of stories to illustrate how people get offended when someone sets a boundary with them, and how it (often) is because they don't have healthy boundaries themselves. You'll also learn how it's up to you where and when you want to set boundaries, and whether you want to explain about your boundary.  Group coaching on boundaries begins 10/26: https://...

Send us Fan Mail Coming to understand that we are flawesome (flawed + awesome) and that not everyone is going to like us is a GAME CHANGER for many of us in recovery! When we realize that we're fine just as we are, and some people are just never gonna like us, life gets easier. I give a metaphor for thinking about this which is that - maybe you're a peach, and not everyone likes peaches....

Send us Fan Mail We often make up stories about ourselves, others and the world that are not based in fact and truth. Yet we act as if they are and live with the consequences of believing these b.s. stories! You don't have to life like that! You'll hear a couple of stories about what these stories can look like and how to change them. The other episodes I refer to are: #18 One Day at a T...

Send us Fan Mail I explore how looking for "your part in things" (as taught in step 4) shows us where we've been doing things that have contributed to the difficulties in our lives. This gives us options for how to do things differently. This brings us out of victim mentality because we now see we have choices. those with victim mentality blame others and the world for their difficu...

Send us Fan Mail Some of the lessons are from recovery slogans, and others are from common practices in recovery. The lessons I share are these:  Don’t date for the first year Be real When someone tells you who they are, believe them One day at a time First things first Acceptance HALT Keep coming back, it works if you work it so work it you’re worth it The definition of insanity is doing the same...

Send us Fan Mail If you've fallen in love with someone else's potential, you know that it's a potentially endless drain on your energy. If this is a pattern for you, there's hope! You'll learn why we do this and how to stop - which means learning to keep the focus on yourself so you can live up to *your* potential! If you’re a fan of this podcast and want to support it, pl...

Send us Fan Mail Constructive questions help us construct a better version of ourselves. Destructive questions are just that - destructive. They destroy us - or at least inhibit our development. I share some typical destructive questions that people in recovery ask themselves (e.g., WTF is wrong with me??") and provide several examples of constructive questions to ask that will lead to your g...

Send us Fan Mail When we attempt to fix, rescue, protect and buffer others from the negative consequences of their own lives, we're not helping. In fact, we may very well be making things worse. We're definitely making things worse for *ourselves* by draining our energy supply so we don't have anything left for ourselves. I talk through a couple of examples from my own life - one wh...

Send us Fan Mail Setting boundaries can be difficult, esp. when we first start. The guilt and shame we feel when setting boundaries can be paralyzing. Bookending with a safe, supportive other person when you're setting boundaries can help you deal with those difficult emotions. It can also help you hold yourself accountable to following through on setting the boundary, and can help you feel c...

Send us Fan Mail The video of this episode is available on Patreon to patrons of Barb. Barb's guest Hope shares her experience, strength and hope on this episode. Hope shares about her #YOLO philosophy, which is very different than her YOLO philosophy of her younger years! Now it's about trying new things that you've always wanted to try, trying things that will stretch, grow and ch...

Send us Fan Mail Two stories about garbage cans are profiled to show how our thinking becomes much less rigid as we continue our journey of recovery. These stories also illustrate how recovery shows us how frequently we put up with things that annoy the f**k out of us when we don't have to. We GET TO have choices in our lives as a result of recovery - choices about the kinds of garbage cans w...

Send us Fan Mail If you're sick and tired of the endless string of negative thoughts and self-judgment in your head, that can end! I'm living proof! It starts with awareness - awareness of what you're saying to yourself. You then need to analyze what those messages are and what they're doing to do you. They're crippling you, AND they're not making you into a better pe...

Send us Fan Mail When we're focused more on what others think of us, and things we DON'T want, we're more likely to get it. However, when we start to focus on ourselves and what we actually DO want, we're more likely to get it. I give some examples of what this looks like in real life, then talk about how to make the shift. It's about figuring out who your authentic self i...

Send us Fan Mail The only way to change the way others interact with you is to change the way YOU interact with THEM! You can't change other people, but you *can* change your ways! When you start being honest with people about what you really want, need, think and feel, when you lower your expectations of others, and when you learn to set healthy boundaries, you'll be living your life th...

Send us Fan Mail Codependent people are focused outside themselves and care what others think about them. As you're recovering from your codependent ways, you can leverage that tendency for your own good by using it with some kind of an accountability partner. In the beginning, you can use that desire to NOT let them down by committing to them about goals that further your development. Given...

Send us Fan Mail Here's a story of a variety of ways that recovery has shown up in my everyday life. It features a story from a day at the beach where I sat next to two people who were bitching and complaining. In the past, I would sat there and stewed and fumed and blamed them for my miserable day. Instead, I got up and moved. I was rewarded by my Higher Power with some incredible lessons in...

Send us Fan Mail If you set a boundary with someone and they don't honor, you have to do something about them not honoring it. "Doing something" is called a consequence. If you don't do anything when someone doesn't honor your boundary, then it wasn't really a boundary, it was just a wish. Learn how to set different levels of consequences using the three strikes metho...

Send us Fan Mail Some people think that "it's all about me" is the same as "keep the focus on yourself." It's not. They're very different. Opposites, in fact. When we're focused on the external world ("it's all about me"), we're more likely to be exasperated, resentful and unfulfilled. That's because we can't do much about the e...

Send us Fan Mail When I stopped gossiping, I realized that I'd been "dragging stories with me" all my life. And it was making me miserable! It's  bad enough that negative stuff happens, but you MAGNIFY the negativity by talking about it all the time! You relive the negative events over and over each time you talk about them. Here's how to stop so you can reduce the amount...