Four Guys on a Train

Email us at fourguysonatrain@gmail.comSubscribe to be sure you catch the train!

The gentlemen are back with a brand new Modern Day Poets! The Clay Aiken masterpiece "Invisible" gets the high-brow treatment it's always deserved. Then they try to figure out real and fake headlines, which is harder to do now that the world is objectively stupid. Pete also gets attacked by a centipede. You should watch. Email us at fourguysonatrain@gmail.comSubscribe to be sure you...

The gentlemen are back to regale you with another tale in the long tradition of Earotica, this time featuring everyone's favorite Star Warsian rapscallion, Grand Moff Tarkin. What sort of wild hijinks will he and his best bud Lord Vader get into? You'll have to tune in to see! They also play a round of Who Said It?, featuring two of the unlikeliest of bedfellows to ever fellow in a bed. Su...

We're back! Though statistically speaking, and keeping in mind things like proportionality, literally no one even knew we were gone, or even that we WERE! But hey, Four Guys on a Train is here, and things are about to get stupid. And hopefully funny. Look, you like podcasts. You like to laugh. You like structures like this to contain a third thing to make them feel complete. So you'll like...

The boys go insane with the world's most famous clown posse in an all new Modern Day Poets!

The boys are a bit late for the holidays, but that won’t stop them from relying on artificial intelligence to bail them out and write some stories and quizzes for them!

The boys take part in a sexy quiz with sexy results, though perhaps they learn a little too much about some of the depravity out there, like holy crap you guys some of y’all’s kinks are just CRAZY.

The boys give in to Barbie fever with a riveting tale of being yourself.

The boys choose an adventure of their very own… this time with zombies!

The boys break down a classic daddy-daughter dance ditty in an all-new Modern Day Poets.

The gentlemen discuss the ever-changing social media landscape to determine the best way to record their vital thoughts for the benefit of humankind, followed by a magical (and very orange) Earotica, and a choose your own adventure where the choosing… will be deadly. But in a fun way.

The gentlemen relive some of their most memorable summer vacations, discussing all those hotels, motels, inns, and suites that shaped their youth. Then it’s time to resurrect a greatly missed segment as The Pitchmen uncover some scandalously sexy undergarments; and it all wraps up with a much-appreciated quiz to reveal just how bitchy these boys can be.

The gentlemen discuss the ins and outs of not going in and out for medical reasons, and are promptly joined by the Dark Lord himself, Lucifer, to solve relationship questions thrown into the ether by Redditors. Branden invents a new game, Lost in Translation, and it's a hit with the other two dorks.

The gentlemen welcome another gentleman aboard the train – the fifth guy himself, Jake! Together they wax poetic about proper water intake, then put on their finest performances in a video game-inspired Earotica, and end the night with another riveting round of Boff, Marry, Kill, where some VERY dark urges come to light…

The gentlemen spend a lot of time giving Brisk Iced Tea free advertising, which is ill-advised considering they already make $0 from this podcast; this leads naturally into cursed nutcrackers, as you would expect. An all-new weeb-tastic Earotica about nothing and a psychological profile round out this Brisk-y romp.

The gentlemen once again surrender their show to the wit and whims of the Writer of Ghosts, finding themselves acting out a potential future for the podcast itself! And then they play Smash or Pass with a bunch of historical figures, you know, it’s the third act, whatever.

Who's having technical difficulties? Not THESE four guys! (Three.) An all-new Earotica kicks off a deeply meaningful episode full of forbidden love, leading to a custom quiz to find out who we REALLY are.

Love is in the air! Also, Mustard Cat shows up? The gentlemen ring in St. Patrick's Day with an Aladdin fanfic, them bully each other for fun and profit.

The gentlemen engage in a highly exciting bit of fiendish fun with Ol’ Scratch, answering some of YOUR* burning relationship questions, then spend some time sifting through Craig’s Best to extract all the comedy nuggets they can find. *Not really your

The gentlemen ring in the new year by tearing apart a classic auld song, in this fresh-faced baby edition of Modern Day Poets.

It’s a 4GOAT celebration! 50 episodes, can you believe it? We can’t. The gentlemen send a strongly worded tweet to Sir Elon of Musk, then choose their own misadventure with a story that rewards bad behavior, and finally partake in a Quizmas – a Christmas quiz, for those of you just joining us – to determine the truth or falsity of various Christmas movie films.

MAGA claims yet another star of Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 - what are we going to do??? The gentlemen don’t have a good answer to that question, but they do invite Satan, Prince of Darkness and All That Is Evil, onto the show to answer some questions, and end the night with a rousing game of copulate, wed, or murder! 

It’s Halloween! Or shortly thereafter, we guess! Still, it’s scary. The gentlemen can’t quite put their finger on why James Corden is a thing, a spooky Happy Days Earotica shows that these days truly ARE ours (though their legal ownership is still subject for debate), and a horror movie guessing game goes horrifically… well? For PETE?

The gentlemen ponder a face reveal stream, a la Dream, in the hopes of becoming world famous, and later, they dive azz first into a hip-hopping new installment of Modern Day Poets, in which curse words, McCormick spices, and Amazon Fresh all play an important role.

The gentlemen explore the origins of Big Chungus in a new What Does It All Meme.