Episodes

310 - The Most Vile of the Devil's Snares 10.07.2026 1:02:39

AI chatbots are gifted kids, Taylor Swift is a quasi-cheerleader, and Morrissey has relentlessly faced the slings and arrows of the most vile of the devil's snares. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from Podcast About List): www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aOQ7h9S4kI Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

309 - Dumb Podcast [Patreon Preview] 03.07.2026 3:50

The tragic and unforeseeable divorce of Jelly Roll and Bunnie XO is undercut by juvenile stories about stage pooping and crowd pooping. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit/posts/309-dumb-podcast-162802639 Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from Podcast About List): www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aOQ7h9S4...

308 - Ataraxia Book Club Part 3: Dawn Protocol (ft. Raina Douris) 26.06.2026 1:21:00

The moral of this story is… If you have mental health issues, if you're depressed, if you feel disconnected from other people, just post on Discord. It's where the most normal people are. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from Podcast About List): www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aOQ7h9S4kI Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/H...

307 - Ataraxia Book Club Part 2 (ft. Hesse Deni & Raina Douris) 19.06.2026 1:24:39

Female jinns, Gandhi lasagna, white walls, 2.3 trillion galaxies, and the drug you've never heard of. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from Podcast About List): www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aOQ7h9S4kI Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

306 - Ataraxia Book Club Part 1 (ft. Hesse Deni & Raina Douris) 12.06.2026 1:47:01

Hesse and Raina join us for a spiritual journey into rooms where Garfield went corporate and money was implied. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from Podcast About List): www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aOQ7h9S4kI Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

305 - Mister Hardmaxxing [Patreon Preview] 05.06.2026 2:59

Garfield wants to be Muslim, C+C Music Factory wants to perform for Genghis Khan, and Matt Walsh wants more conservative music even though he's a damn hipster like JD Vance. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song "Sugar We All End Up in Diapers" (from Podcast About List): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aOQ7h9S4kI Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

304 - Garfield and the Prophet Mohammad Had Different Thoughts on Mondays 29.05.2026 1:04:00

The vulnerable narcissist. The shaved GOAT. The Zionist hologram. All this and more on today's Fortune Kit. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

303 - Is It OK to Be a Landlord If You're in a Polucule? 15.05.2026 1:01:13

The Blue Wiggle tries to beef with Oasis and the Washington Post pivots to the least successful ragebait of all time. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

302 - Pussycat Dolls Should Be Bob Dylan's Backup Singers 08.05.2026 57:01

Metallica has a whiskey that they blast with their own music to bring out the flavors more better. Soulja Boy has a brand new social media site that looks like 2007. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5xLRYY_7rs Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

301 - Don't You Wish Your 2nd Wife Was Hot Like Me [Patreon Preview] 01.05.2026 4:37

Recreate Jimi Hendrix's Last Meal Using This Canned Pantry Staple! Nobody Expected Fast Food to Be This Interesting in 2026! Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/301-dont-you-2nd-157080063

300 - Your Favorite Band is a Psyop (ft. John Semley) 24.04.2026 1:05:13

John Semley talks with Charles about his viral Geese article for Wired and why your favorite band is not actually a psyop. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

299 - Soulja Girl Baked Potato 17.04.2026 56:55

Alex doesn't want Soulja Boy to get his penis burned by a hot baked potato. Pokemon cards should be currency in prison. Denzel Curry thinks aliens fuck with his music but realistically, there's a good chance that the first song aliens hear from humans will be A.I. generated. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the...

298 - The Devil Went Down to Ft. Campbell, TN [Patreon Preview] 03.04.2026 4:24

Bob Dylan starts an AI slop Patreon and a Charlie Daniels hologram is set to play a Tennessee military base. Maybe Sharon Osbourne should make an Ozzy hologram that performs at Zionist events. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/154617893/

297 - Tong Hawk 27.03.2026 1:06:00

Meek Mill's business is moving forward at a high rate thanks to AI. A second MAGA chud has hit the Pussycat Dolls. And Trump & pals should have Grok write an Andrew Jackson musical and perform it at the Trump-Kennedy Memorial Center. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

296 - Heavy Metal P%&@tang 20.03.2026 1:01:49

Vinnie Vincent has an incredible new album available for $2 million. Billy Joel should crash his car through the wall of a Hard Rock Cafe and leave it there so they can preserve it. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

295 - Viral Refrigerator 13.03.2026 1:05:29

Ari Emanuel has a dope podcast with his 30-years-younger wife's best friend. And Lil Pump saw rappers doing witchcraft in order to get famous. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YN7bJcchAY Join the Discord: discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

294 - Microgoats [Patreon Preview] 06.03.2026 4:54

We need microscopic goats to make the ultimate milk for Ringo Starr. All mainstream country should be about Minecraft since it's fundamentally about mining and farming and stuff. And kids should be able to buy vapes if they have good grades. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/294-microgoats-152406160

293 - Alex Calls AI Soulja Boy 27.02.2026 59:29

Soulja Boy should become a real estate agent. Sony's Tokyo HQ should get better toilet paper. We should follow Freddie Gibbs on tour in order to take a karate lesson before each show. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcgWQDKJhI Join the Discord: https://discord.com/invite/HabqgJf

292 - I Don't Know How Many Men's Rap Careers I've Tried to Get Off the Ground 20.02.2026 1:01:28

Pitbull invents a new world record to break and Jelly Roll's wife writes a book about doing pills with ex-boyfriends who were too lazy to focus on their rap careers. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: https://www.patreon.com/cw/TroubleInRiverCity

291 - The Clash Royale Halftime Show 13.02.2026 58:51

Lil Wayne counterprogrammed the Super Bowl Halftime Show with a performance in Clash Royale with better production values than Turning Point USA. It would have been nice to see Mike Love do "Kokomo" at TP USA but it's sadly too globalist and woke. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcgWQDKJhI Join the Discord: discord.gg/Ha...

290 - The Diddy Lama [Patreon Preview] 06.02.2026 5:10

Noted sicko the Dalai Lama takes home his first Grammy and Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney are announced for Turning Point USA's Super Bowl halftime show (source: Facebook). Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/290-diddy-lama-150112918

289 - James Bond Checks into the James Bond Hotel 30.01.2026 1:02:43

Charles and Alex talk RXKNephew, Neil Young, Nathen Mazri, and the Pitchfork paywall. Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit Join the Discord: discord.gg/HabqgJf Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: https://www.patreon.com/TroubleInRiverCity

288 - Throw Some Keats on That Bitch 23.01.2026 1:05:23

Soulja Boy was the first rapper to complain about pronouns for non-ideological reasons. And it's crazy the devil hangs out at the crossroads when the cross is Jesus' main thing. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit

287 - Yellow-Tinted Glasses 16.01.2026 1:00:58

Soulja Boy wears ill-fitting shoes to the club, more artists bail on the Trump Memorial Center, and Morrissey finally releases his amazing songs that the industry doesn't want us to hear. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit

286 - Humans Shouldn't Listen to Birdslop or Whaleslop 09.01.2026 1:03:30

Charles and Alex visit Eric Alper's website to read the article "Step by Step Guide to Buying the Ideal Legal Highs." Plus, Elon should do a new Voyager gold disk with Brony dubstep and "America, Fuck Yeah" on it and Anne Geddes should be Trump's photographer. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit