Former Insomniac by End Insomnia

You’ve been lying in bed, wide awake. Again. You check the clock. You do the math. “If I fall asleep  now,  I’ll get 4 hours.” But your mind is racing. You’re frustrated. Tense. Maybe even a little panicked. This might sound strange, but what if the goal tonight isn’t sleep? What if the goal is  peace , even while awake? Today, I want to offer a powerful option for when you’re stuck...

Last time we discussed  challenging  your anxious thoughts. But sometimes, that alone isn’t enough. That’s where the second technique comes in:  changing your relationship with your thoughts. This approach comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and is based on a concept called  defusion. What Is Defusion? Defusion means separating yourself from your thoughts. Instea...

Anxiety-fueled thoughts are one of the main drivers of insomnia. As night approaches, anxious thoughts tend to ramp up. Then they often return with a vengeance in the middle of the night. For many, it can feel like walking on eggshells inside your mind, fearful that one catastrophic thought will kick off a chain reaction that ruins the entire night. It’s a frustrating and lonely place to be. But t...

If you’ve struggled with insomnia, you know this isn’t just about feeling tired. It’s about the  suffering  that comes with not sleeping. The fear. The frustration. The feeling that you’re broken. The dread of the next night. The anxiety about tomorrow. It can feel like a never-ending spiral. But there’s a way out. It starts with understanding  the difference between clean pain and...

You might be doing all the “right” things to improve your sleep… But if your mind is stuck in the same place—anxious, tense, and desperate to sleep—you’re unknowingly making it harder to rest. Here’s a simple but powerful mindset shift: Sleeping well starts with caring less about sleeping well. It sounds strange at first. Why would caring less help? Because when we’re desperate to sleep, we activa...

In the last episode, I shared three practical ways to help you stop spiraling when you’re awake at night. Today, let’s look at what  not  to do. Because often, we unintentionally fuel the very anxiety that keeps us up. Here are five common habits that might be sabotaging your nights—and what to do instead: 1. Clock-Watching Checking the time might feel innocent, but it ramps up anxiety f...

If you’ve ever been awake at 2 a.m., staring at the ceiling, wishing you could just  turn your brain off , you’re not alone. Most people think their only goal at night should be falling asleep. But what if that goal is the very thing getting in the way? Instead of forcing sleep, try something new: finding peace—even when you’re awake. That might sound backward, but here’s the truth: Trying to...

Let’s talk about how to deal with anxious thoughts in a new way—one that doesn’t involve fighting them. Earlier, you learned how to challenge scary or extreme thoughts. That can help. But sometimes, even when we challenge a thought, the anxiety stays. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to never feel anxiety. It’s to stop letting anxious thoughts run the show. That’s where mindful acceptance of though...

Let’s talk about thoughts—especially the ones that pop up when you’re trying to sleep. Anxious thoughts are one of the biggest reasons people can’t fall asleep or stay asleep. Maybe you’ve felt it too: bedtime comes, and suddenly your mind is filled with worries. Or you wake up in the middle of the night, and your thoughts race. One scary thought turns into another; before you know it, sleep feels...

Sometimes, it’s not just the lack of sleep that makes you feel bad during the day. It’s the way you react to it. And that reaction can make things way harder than they need to be. There are two types of pain: clean pain and dirty pain. Clean pain  is the kind of pain that naturally happens in life. Things like sadness, stress, worry, or feeling tired after a bad night. These are all part of b...

Let’s talk about something that might surprise you: sleeping better often comes from caring less about sleep. That may sound strange, but it’s true. When we stop stressing and trying to control every part of our sleep, our body and brain relax. And that’s when sleep can finally show up. One of the big things that keeps you awake isn’t just the lack of sleep. It’s the worry and tension about not sl...

One of the best ways to help your body sleep better is to build up what we call your Sleep-Starting Force. That means helping your body feel sleepy at the right time. It has two parts: your sleep drive and your internal body clock (also called your circadian rhythm). You can boost both of these with a powerful tool called a Sleep Window. Your sleep window is the time you spend in bed each night. Y...

Insomnia doesn’t happen overnight. It starts with worry about sleep, behaviors that don’t help, and a nervous system that’s too alert. These things build slowly over time. So, fixing insomnia also doesn’t happen overnight. Getting better sleep takes patience and practice. The End Insomnia System isn’t a quick fix like taking a sleeping pill. Instead, it helps you gradually change the habits and th...

CBT-i (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia) is often called the "gold standard" for treating insomnia. However, while CBT-i does help some people, others find that it doesn’t fully resolve their sleep issues. I was one of them, and so are most of our clients. Sleep Education in CBT-i CBT-i starts by teaching people about sleep. This helps you understand why you might have trouble sleeping an...

You might remember times when you did something special, and it felt like it helped you sleep. Maybe you took a pill, did a bedtime ritual, or tried a particular trick, and slept better. When you struggle with insomnia, you might think these things will help again. But the truth is, you can't force yourself to sleep. Sleep happens naturally because of two main forces. One helps your body fall asle...

People who have trouble sleeping try many different things during the day and before bedtime to sleep "better" at night. These habits (Sleep Efforts) often seem helpful, but they might make it harder to sleep. Avoiding Screens and Blue Light You may have heard that screens, like TVs, tablets, and phones, can keep you awake because they emit blue light. Blue light can trick your brain into thinking...

Have you ever tried  really  hard to fall asleep, only to end up wide awake and feeling more frustrated than ever? This happens because trying to force yourself to sleep makes sleeping harder. These things you do to make yourself sleep are called “sleep efforts,” and while they seem helpful, they usually don’t work. Sleep efforts include all kinds of things people do to make sleep come f...

Today, we’re going to discuss what you can do to naturally help your body prepare for sleep without feeling stressed about it. First, let’s talk about something called the “sleep-starting force.” This is your body’s natural way of getting sleepy. There are two critical parts to this: Your  Sleep Drive : This is like a battery inside your body that charges up all day while awake. The longer yo...

If you've ever had trouble sleeping, you've probably tried many different things to help you sleep better. Maybe you've tried drinking special teas, taking sleeping pills, or even using lavender oil. You might have spent money on gadgets, tried to make your room perfectly dark and quiet, or followed a specific bedtime routine. But if you still can't sleep, there's a good reason why all those thing...

If you have insomnia, you’re probably exhausted. You’ve probably tried many things already. You’ve worked hard to sleep better, but nothing has helped. You’re not lazy—you’ve put in a lot of effort and maybe even spent money on countless “fixes”. Still, sleep feels far away. I have good news: It’s not your fault. The other things haven’t worked because they didn’t fix the real problem. The real re...

Just two forces control sleep. We call them the sleep-starting force and the sleep-stopping force. The Sleep-Starting Force The sleep-starting force is what makes sleep happen. It comes from two natural systems in your body: your sleep drive and your circadian rhythm. The Sleep-Stopping Force If your body is built to sleep naturally, why does insomnia happen? The answer is the  sleep-stopping...

You might feel like nothing can help your sleep. Maybe you’ve tried doctors and therapists or searched the internet for answers. Maybe you feel like no one really understands what you’re going through. That feeling is normal. But it doesn’t mean there’s no way out. Let’s look at why people think they can’t fix their sleep—and why they actually can. — Looking to end insomnia for good in 8 weeks? Ge...

If you’ve ever tried to get help for your sleep problems—whether from doctors, therapists, or online sources—you might have felt like no one truly understands what you’re going through. You’re not alone in that feeling. I know, because I’ve been there myself. The approach I now share didn’t come from just reading studies or theories—it came from my own struggle with insomnia. I spent years trying...

As you improve your sleep, know that setbacks are completely normal. In fact, they are part of the process. Almost everyone who has overcome insomnia has had some ups and downs along the way. It feels amazing to start sleeping better after struggling for so long. You may feel relief, hope, and even excitement as you trust your sleep more and think about it less. But it’s rare for someone to fully...

Back then, during my 5 brutal years of insomnia, I used to wonder: “What do the steps out of insomnia look like?” “How long does the recovery take?” Here’s the breakdown: Phase 1: Lost & Suffering Phase 2: Finding Hope Phase 3: Making Key Behavior Changes Phase 4: Experiencing Some Anxiety Reduction Phase 5: Feeling Non-Attachment Phase 6: Consistently Sleeping Better Phase 7: Building Further...