Football Ramble

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to bemoan the refereeing that made England not have a shot on target until the 64th minute against Malta. WHERE’S THE INTERNATIONAL PGMOL?! We also react to the seismic news of Everton’s 10 point deduction and ask where it leaves the club, the fans, and… other clubs. Plus, Sergio Ramos awards Shakira a Grammy for a song all about slagging off Gerard Piqué and we reapp...

Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete are back to answer more of your burning questions, as we revel in football’s stupid stuff and a listener writes to us after attending that chaotic Norwegian promotion ding dong last week. Plus, we look into how football can stop eating itself, deciding the only answer is to have more sex in Marvel films. Or bao buns. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube...

Is a draw in Tbilisi - thanks to a 92nd minute equaliser - enough to rid Scotland of their dreaded curse? Marcus, Pete, Jim and Vish call for any curse experts to help them solve that mystery. They also speculate whether Gareth Southgate is cooking up any experiments in his lab ahead of England vs Malta and debate which of today’s Ramblers have the cutest dad… It’s The Preview Show! Follow us on&n...

The all-important milestone is upon us: it’s 211 days until Euro 2024! But seriously, the current England squad is full of ridiculous talents and a fair few figures who divide opinion – not least Gareth Southgate himself. So today, Marcus and Luke try and make sense of it all! They pick their best England XI for next summer and answer your questions about the biggest challenges Southgate faces.&nb...

The FA Cup first round reached its conclusion last night. So today, Pete decided to bring the magic of the cup into the studio, quite literally… Donny’s joined on the show by Marcus, Luke and Jim who all have to listen to his travel advice for Malta and – erm – Horsham, before Marcus finally puts Pete in detention for slagging off Harry Maguire. Plus, Luke explains why John Stones could be one of...

Poch ’n Pep treated us to another classic! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim relive Chelsea 4-4 Manchester City – a glorious game full of good goals, controversial goals, and goals scored with ballsacks. Join us! Elsewhere, Marcus tries to sign everyone up to the England national team, Jonathan Pearce shows off his rich knowledge of astronomy and John Hartson takes a trip to the Toby Calfery. Plus, a dis...

Bonk! Your Keystone Cops – Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete – are on hand to see you into the weekend. Jürgen Klopp attends Fyre Festival, Neil Warnock at last has his say on VAR, and Dominic Cummings has an “excellent” drink with Peter Reid. Plus, there’s the most epic Jack’s Encyclopaedia tiebreaker you’ve ever heard. Seriously, don't miss it... Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube ,...

Marcus and Vish react to a chaotic Champions League night in Copenhagen, which saw Manchester United swing between good, bad, good again, and then - finally - ugly. From Marcus Rashford’s red, to the two handballs, to a 17-year old literally called Roony scoring the winner, to Vish’s impending lobotomy, there’s a lot to talk about! Come join us! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTub...

As usual Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete start the show with the biggest and most important piece of news… Phil Neville is BACK! You just can’t keep a good man down. The Champions League is also back. Pete explains how Newcastle at least put up more of a fight last night than he did against some confirmed Dortmund locals at the weekend. Plus, the lads try to figure out the impossible: what would the id...

Spurs 1-4 Chelsea: where to begin?! Luke and Vish are here to pick apart a quite ridiculous game and a quite ridiculous performance from Cristian Romero, which somehow left the lads comparing him to Arnold Schwarzenegger and both Kray twins. They also take a moment to enjoy Big Ange’s commitment to playing with a high line and - of course - Lu...

Another VAR conspiracy, eh? It must be time for a Monday Ramble! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish get their head around all the drama at St James’ Park on Saturday night after Arsenal join the Statement Posse.  Plus, Vish suggests the novel idea of burying old football grounds, Darwin Nunez continues to prove that he’s the most Ramble player to ever play the game, and a Scottish non-league player r...

Welcome to the very FIRST Football Ramble Mailbag! Every fortnight, we're sharing our favourite listener stories and tackling your questions – some of which will be from X. There’s some great stuff on there, by the way. This week: how do we stop the enshittification of football? Which footballers have pied us off? And if someone had to score a penalty to save our lives, who would we pick? Marcus,...

Technical areas, do we really need 'em? That’s the question that Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are answering ahead of the Jason Tindall vs Mikel Arteta derby this weekend. Elsewhere, there's fear for the residents of Kenilworth Road as Captain Chaos Darwin Nunez heads to town, and we learn that an unusual friendship (fight?) is on the cards between Peter Reid and Dominic Cummings. Classic Dom. Follo...

Miguel Almiron’s at the wheel! Oh hang on, that’s not a good thing though… Marcus, Pete and Jim look back on a double cupset in the Carabao Cup as Manchester United actually quite predictably got thwacked 3-0 by Newcastle, leaving Erik Ten Hag making exactly the same expression he always does. Plus, Jim gets worried about Mikel Arteta’s record in knockout competitions and we all get worried that C...

Do people love Lionel Messi a little bit too much? That’s the question that Media Darling Marcus wants answered after the latest Ballon d’Or. Today, he’s joined by Jim, Vish and Pete to discuss that and explain why Manchester United vs Newcastle feels more like a stag do than a football match. Plus, Pete has an important warning: don’t give Carabao to dogs! Follow us on  Twitter ,  Insta...

Manchester United may have lost yesterday, but at least they have a really bad tackle from one of their former players 20 years ago on one of Man City’s new players’ dad to cling onto. Marcus, Jim and Pete look back on the Manchester derby, Antony’s terrible cameo, and some even worse poetry about Man City which Pete tries to rewrite. Plus, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen written on a b...

“A great victory for me and a great victory for justice!” No, that’s not one of us after this week’s Jack’s Encyclopaedia - that’s literally the president of FIFA. Marcus, Vish, Jim and Andy are here as Gianni Infantino strikes again, the Premier League’s scheduling genius’ strike again, and Harry Maguire gets ready to dominate Erling Haaland in the Manchester derby… again? Plus, we wonder if Olym...

It wasn’t the night that Newcastle fans wanted, but who cares, at least St James’ Park has some fantastic drainage. Pete and Vish appreciate that on Ramble Reacts and they also take a moment to compliment Nick Pope for his short sleeve shirt. Plus they answer the important question… Is Kevin De Bruyne really a cake? Follow us on  Twitter ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouTub...

Same podcast? Same podcast. Yes! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete celebrate the return of England’s sunflower Hazza Maguazza to goalscoring form as Manchester United bagged a huge win in the Champions League last night. We also ask who did it best – Gabriel Jesus or Hal-Robson Kanu? – and look ahead to the collapse of the PIF Posse following Kevin Keegan’s meeting with Edward Howe. Plus, Luke gets extra...

Praying for Ashley Young and James Milner’s hamstrings this morning are Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete! On today’s show, we look back on the Merseyside derby and wonder how we can access it via Phil Neville’s new VPN next time. Plus, Marcus continues to valiantly nail himself to the Harry Maguire mast, Andy Carroll is full of beef and gravy but still scores from 40 yards out in France, and Birmingham...

Luke and Andy roll out the red carpet for the Premier League’s post qualifiers return, but not before they pay tribute to Sir Bobby Charlton after his tragic passing. We remember his phenomenal talents on the pitch, as well as just how classy and affable he was off it.  We also check in with his former team as Man United stumbled past Sheffield United, while Chelsea and Arsenal lovingly share...

The Premier League returns! And Marcus, Luke, Pete, and Jim Full On Campbell are here for a data romp ahead of the weekend. We discuss intimate exchanges in the tunnel between Sean Dyche and Jürgen Klopp, Wayne Rooney’s return to the fold, and a World Cup runner-up heads to the ninth tier! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com .  Si...

England did ‘em! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Andy react to an imperious comeback win for Southgate’s posse over Italy, in which Jude Bellingham and Harry Kane were just… really, really good. We also imagine Phil Neville appearing on Dragon’s Den, relive San Marino’s wild goal celebrations after equalising against Denmark last night (yes Denmark, you read that right), and scratch our heads over a truly...

Pete has made a special Marcus Speller-themed shirt for the show today. Because of course he has. Marcus, Pete, Vish and Jim discuss a big Welsh win, a big Scottish win without even kicking a ball, and Gareth Southgate’s staunch defence of Jordan Henderson! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com .  Sign up to the Football Ramble Patr...

Marcus and Jim get the flares out and throw some pint glasses in the air after England’s ferocious 1-0 win over Australia. If only England could’ve tested themselves against the very best of our Antipodean cousins: namely, the Cumdog. Ollie Watkins made his case to be the second striker in command, while Lewis Dunk and James Maddison also impressed. We recap those performances, see Ireland bow out...