Football Ramble

Phew. Marcus, Jim and Pete at last managed to tear themselves away from Jesús Navas’ sparkly eyes for just long enough to record the pod! On today’s international Preview Show, there’s an infestation of Louis van Gaals, James Maddison talks about his dinner again, and we discover the smokiest dressing room in world football. Plus, Marcus is absolutely unbearable in this week’s edition of Jack’s En...

The Euros is heading this way and today Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete celebrate by disrespecting the whole of Europe, including the other host nations. As such, the lads get on board with the idea of making a haggis paella ahead of Scotland’s upcoming showdown with Spain. They also remember one of England’s greats as the new “Beckham” documentary gets a Ramble critique. Follow us on  Twitter ,&n...

Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim put another busy weekend of football under the Ramble microscope!  Erling Haaland and Kyle Walker double team it at the Emirates, two blokes try to double team it on a child at the King Power, and Marcus witnesses a man getting very angry at another topless man at Craven Cottage. Plus, you can count on Jim Campbell to suck the life out of a spirited Spurs performanc...

Pete's in the hotseat for today's PGMOL panel alongside Luke, Andy and Jim! The lads discuss aggressive Marseille taxi drivers, how footballers store shirts they’ve collected, and out of date chocolates at Aston Villa courtesy of Big Doug Ellis. Plus, an Arsenal vs Manchester City preview and another pesky England squad! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: sh...

Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to pick through the wreckage left in Newcastle’s wake, after the Geordies welcomed PSG into their house and then gave them a right shellacking.  We chat about the fired up crowd at St James’ Park, how they turned in such a performance and what’s wrong with Kylian Mbappe. Plus, Jürgen Klopp wades into the replay debate and FIFA dream up their maddest idea yet.&nb...

Marcus, Luke and Andy check in from Newcastle ahead of their clash with PSG where a chilly wind, aliens overhead and Kylian Trippier’s violent scheming should combine for a cracker on Tyneside. There’s also loads of juicy Champions League action to discuss, as Jude Bellingham cut yet more mustard and Man United shot themselves repeatedly in the foot once again. Plus, the PGMOL Posse release some l...

This episode is sponsored by TNT Sports - the exclusive home of the UEFA Champions League. Marcus, Luke and Andy head up to St James’ Park to celebrate Champions League football returning to Newcastle, twenty years after they were last in the competition. And they’re joined by our favourite TNT Sports presenter, former Rambler and Vish’s sworn enemy: it’s only a one-off special with Jules Breach!&...

Marcus and Luke were in situ for a special on-location Ramble Reacts last night! Recorded from the beautiful old stands of Craven Cottage, they chew the fat over Chelsea’s 2-0 win against Fulham – a game which Marcus mostly spent hoping that Aleksandar Mitrovic would fly back from Saudi Arabia to get on the end of a Tom Cairney cross. Could Mauricio Pochettino’s lemons finally be sending his team...

After a drama-filled and anger-fuelled weekend, Marcus, Pete, Vish and Jim thrash out a plan to replace all referees with one giant robot. Judgment Day is upon us. Plus, Pete takes us on a trip through the state of Liverpool YouTube over the weekend, Roy Hodgson and Garth Crooks get cosy with Avram Glazer’s dog in a pram, and there’s The Great Mugging Off of Vithushan Ehantharajah to enjoy! Follow...

Marcus, Vish, Andy and Jim look ahead to the Premier League weekend, featuring the clash of the dads… We also chat Luis Suarez s***housing at his son’s 10th birthday party, Real Madrid behaving like the Evil Empire (again), and the very real possibility of Rob Edwards locking Garth Crooks in a dark room. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble...

Or to put it more accurately: Jamaal Lascelles and Paul Dummett turn into prime Paolo Maldini and Alessandro Nesta! Marcus and Andy discuss the end of Manchester City’s quadruple hopes while Port Vale and Mansfield Town stay in the hunt. Plus, Joelinton’s invisibility cloak, Dominik Szoboszlai’s teeny tiny feet, and Chelsea *actually* win! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , an...

There is only one place we can start today’s show: the Turkish Süper Lig. Despite Mauro Icardi’s penalty disaster last night, Pete tells Marcus and Andy that the original penalty taker wasn’t in the wrong. Yep. We also suckle on some sweet, sweet Carabao, as Exeter claim a scalp over Luton - but how much hair was left? Plus, if Leicester beat Liverpool, will Harry Winks get an England call-up? Fol...

After Newcastle’s demolition job, Marcus is joined by our very own north east posse - Pete and On The Continent’s David Cartlidge! On today’s Ramble, we celebrate Big Ange’s brilliant suit at a brilliant North London derby, find out just how many times Sean Bean said the word “b***ard” on Sunday, and discover Mauricio Pochettino’s plan to save Chelsea Football Club with a bowl of lemons. Join us!...

The Europa League returned last night and it was nice of Thames Water to honour the occasion by flooding the London Stadium. Pete, Luke and Vish are here today to wade through that and also to try to decide what pop star should replace the Michael Jackson statue outside Craven Cottage. Plus, they get excited for the North London Derby which Luke officially crowns as Barn Burner of the Weekend. Fol...

Luke and Vish jump on after a weirdly underwhelming barn burner over in Munich, where four of Bayern’s fifty-six efforts found Man United’s net - and United somehow scored three. We wonder if either of these sides can make a meaningful contribution in Europe, get more details on Daniel Levy’s masterplan and reserve yet more love for the greatest Englishman who’s ever lived: Jude Bellingham. Follow...

Newcastle sat down for negotiations with Milan last night and came away with a point! Can you call that a robbery? Pete, Luke and Vish are here to debate that on today’s show. Elsewhere, the lads propose that Matt Le Tissier should be a playable character in the new PGA Tour Golf video game and ask the important question: why are footballers’ nepo babies not more successful? Follow us on  Twi...

Petey’s on the pod, Petey’s on the pod! Pete joins Marcus, Luke and Andy to run the rule on the latest Manchester United disasterclass against Brighton, which leaves Marcus asking: would Harry Maguire really make it any worse? There’s also terrible Duran Duran puns, some ‘pissy banter’, and Pete tells us about the time he caused major delays at Luton Airport. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , Tik...

The Premier League is back!  So naturally, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy are here to discuss the possibility of Pep Guardiola covering Phil Foden in chocolate and Roy Hodgson feeding worms to Crystal Palace’s next manager. We also discuss Jadon Sancho’s 'banishment' from Manchester United and what it means for him and Erik Ten Hag. Join us! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube ,...

Today, we thought we’d drop in a fascinating chat from this week’s episode of OTC. Dotun Adebayo, Andy Brassell and Nicky Bandini discussed Paul Pogba’s positive doping test, where it might leave his career and how we’ve ended up at this point. Listen to the full episode HERE and make sure to subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's Ask OTC and loads more...

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to officially announce: England will win the Euros. Definitely. No doubt about it. That’s mainly because all the other nations are falling to bits. Portugal are managed by both Bert and Ernie, Leonardo Bonucci will litigate Italian football into oblivion and Germany are turning to Felix Magath. We also hear about David Beckham’s bid to become Superman and make s...

After a huge weekend for German football and Costa Rican football mascots, Marcus Luke, Jim and Vish are here to discuss it all! We react to England’s drab draw with an inspirational Ukraine side and the problems it underlines for Southgate - plus, there’s the small matter of Hansi Flick’s exit as Germany head coach. The answer to all those problems? Get Jurgen Klinsmann in, of course! Follow us o...

Marcus and Jim jumped on the mics after Scotland took a decisive step towards Euro 2024! And one of our Scottish listeners tells England fans to “sook his baws”. Plus, a West Ham fan and potential scratch card winner travels to Ghana to watch Mohammed Kudus, there’s a devastating blow for the PIF Posse, and qualification for World Cup 2026 gets underway. Yes, really. Follow us on Twitter , Instagr...

Take it from us, the U21 European champions: get yourself an oeuf. That’s our advice for the Lee Carsley-less France U21s. Marcus, Vish, Andy and Jim are back with more pearls of wisdom to kick off your weekend! We discuss Gareth Southgate’s small headache over who will partner super headache Harry Maguire, while Andy calls the Netherlands Burnley and Marcus gets more excited about Jude Bellingham...

International football is back, people! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Vish discuss reports that the FA are eyeing up Pep Guardiola with Gareth Southgate set to leave after the Euros… and quickly decide that leaving Pep to his own devices for months on end would be a terrible idea. We also discuss Mauro Icardi’s new car and Michael Owen reaching new levels of pointlessness. And there’s the small matter of...

Like the bloke next to Stevey Cooper’s ear, Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim are back to scratch your Premier League itch! We discuss Arsenal’s dramatic win over Manchester United, Spurs’ avuncular uncles, and - most importantly of all - who we’d want to be sat next to from the Los Angeles FC guest list against Inter Miami. Just keep Marcus away from Owen Wilson, please. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram...