Football Ramble

Your Chief Keystone Cop Pete Donaldson is back with more of our favourite moments from the season that was. Today, we’ve got Manchester United’s Champions League adventures, lard mafias from Horsham, and a heartwarming poem about Emi Martinez. Come join us! We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a j...

The new club season is almost upon us! But before kick-off, we’re reliving our favourite moments from 2023/24. Today, Pete takes you back to the opening months of the season which began with Harry Kane finally saying goodbye to Tottenham (after spending 4-6 hours in a north London safe house, of course). Meanwhile, we said hello to Mauricio Pochettino’s...

Before you listen to this episode, we want to set one thing straight: despite Pete’s accusations, Marcus does not smoke crack cocaine. All right? All right. Marcus, Jim and Pete catch up with the world of club football and quickly remember why Harry Redknapp definitely still records Match of the Day on his YouView box. The FA continue their hunt for the next England manager, with Eddie Howe now ta...

Now it’s time for the painful bit. Join us for Part 2 of our Euro 2024 farewell, with all of our favourite moments from the Round of 16 and beyond! From Bukayo Saka’s penalty (and that smile), to Andy Carroll eating chicken off the floor outside a restaurant in Mayfair – it really was a tournament for the good guys. Until the end bit, obvs.  Enjoy our highlights and - for one last time to Eng...

The groups stages were arguably the highlight of Euro 2024 - well, maybe not for England and Scotland. But we were blessed with some exciting football and introduced to some amazing new characters. Like... Big Mama UEFA and (even bigger) Martin Ádám. Join us to relive some of our favourite moments from the Euros group stages, including Cristiano Ronaldo transforming into prime Niall Quinn and the...

After four tournaments, two finals, a collection of excellent waistcoats and one flare up the arse, Gareth Southgate’s time as England manager is over. Today Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to reflect on what Southgate’s legacy will be once the dust has settled. There's also the question of who comes next? Marcus explains why Eddie Howe might just have an advantage over Graham Potter in the race to...

How do you get over England losing a Euros final? Relive all your misplaced optimism before the tournament, of course!  Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim reveal their pre-tournament predictions for Euro 2024 – featuring a wild prediction for Spain, a bare Scottish bot-bot, and the return of Big Mama UEFA. Stay tuned to discover which Rambler was a very surprising winner… We're back on stage and tick...

Spain are the champions of Europe... and England have fallen at the last hurdle once more. Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim pick up the pieces after another crushing Euros final defeat – but, you know what? Better to have scraped your way to the final than to never have scraped at all. They discuss what went wrong after a promising first half, one of Harry Kane’s worst nights in an England shirt, that C...

Tonight’s the night, it’s the Euro 2024 final. Excited? Nervous? However you’re feeling, come join the warm embrace of Marcus and Luke as we collectively gear up for potentially the biggest night of our lives. The lads are here to bring you the final team news and to try and put to rest any fears and doubts you might have. COME ON ENGLAND! We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at Lo...

How can England beat Spain in the Euro 2024 final? Will it be because Bukayo Saka can do a better job of cutting in on his left foot than Lamine Yamal? Or will it be because Pete rattles the Spanish by putting a Peperami in a paella? Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete are here to preview the biggest game of our lives. Marcus explains that - this time - he thinks Southgate might just clear the final...

How did Spain and England make it to the final? Will Gareth Southgate sub on Pete Donaldson? And will Pete wet himself? Two days out from the final of Euro 2024, Marcus, Luke, Pete and Jim relive Spain and England’s journey to the final! Along the way, Kevin Keegan carries the Olympic torch by an orphanage, there’s an unprecedented number of broken noses, and Big Mama UEFA turns to Pete for susten...

EEEEAAASAAAAY!!! ENGLAND DID IT! Successive bloody Euros finals. And they did it with what we’re now completely, unbiasedly calling the best strikers’ finish ever from Ollie Watkins. Marcus (safely strapped into his chair), Luke, Andy and Jim react to a historic victory for England over the Dutch and discuss just how their tournament of incredible moments keeps on rolling. COME JOIN THE PARTY! We'...

It’s happened, everybody: a player younger than the Football Ramble has scored in a major tournament semi-final. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy are here to marvel at Lamine Yamal’s performance, even if Marcus does end up comparing him to MacGyver. Elsewhere, the Ramblers explain why this should be the end for Didier Deschamps and they ease the pressure on Gareth’s Brave Boys ahead of tonight’s...

 The supercomputer has chimed in on the Euros semi-finals and Luke and John Cross are NOT happy. Marcus, Luke and Andy preview Spain vs France tonight and try to figure out if Les Bleus can really grind Spain down with this whole 'not scoring goals' thing. We also give some deserved attention for one of the best football narratives in recent times: 38-year-old Jesús Navas being tasked with ke...

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Positive Pete draw breath as England prepare for their semi-final in a few days’ time. Should Harry Kane spark up a big ol’ bifta to help with the injury? We also round up the heartwarming celebrations that have brought the nation together, from Wimbledon to James Corden’s new play. Elsewhere, the German saxophone dethrones Cristiano Ronaldo as the most famous man in Europe a...

Ladies and gentlemen, England are in the semi-finals of Euro 2024! Today, Marcus, Andy and Vish are here to let out an almighty easaaay and explain why form no longer matters from here on out. There’s also delight for Gareth Southgate and - most of all - Bukayo Saka’s moment, which was even bigger than Stuart Pearce’s in 1996. Plus, Andy explains why Jude Bellingham and Phil Foden are perfectly po...

What do you get when two cowardly coaches fight for a spot in the semis of the Euros? Portugal vs France and 120 minutes of Cristiano Ronaldo thinking he’s in The Truman Show, that's what... Marcus, Andy, Vish and Pete react to Portugal and Germany’s exits from the Euros and why Roberto Martínez has a lot to answer for. And don’t get Pete started on the France physios – Kylian Mbappé clearly just...

England vs Switzerland isn’t the only big English sporting event happening this weekend: it’s also the British Formula 1 Grand Prix! P1 with Matt and Tommy is the world’s biggest F1 podcast and another brilliant show on the Stak network. So, ahead of the race this weekend, we thought it’d be the perfect time to introduce the lads to those of you who might not already listen. So here’s their previe...

Why can’t Kevin Keegan fly out to Germany to watch the Euros? I don’t know Kev, you tell us… Marcus, Pete and Jim preview the last 8, where it’s BUSINESS time. Marcus is living in the past about Germany as we size up their clash with the Spaniards, while over in the England camp Gareth Southgate is finally learning from the past and trying a new formation with Ed Sheeran as sweeper. Plus, Andy Car...

Austria vs Turkey…. how were there only three goals? Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to celebrate Brassell’s brave boys making it through to the quarter final after one of the best games at the tournament so far. Elsewhere, Luke heaps praise onto Cody Gakpo and we try work out whether Neil Warnock is behind the rise of the xG phenomenon. Plus, Marcus states his intentions to buy a Man United season...

And it was enough to bring tears to (some people’s) eyes. Pete, Andy and Jim relive a dramatic night for Portugal which saw them escape calamity and Slovenia miss out on history. Meanwhile, we’re pretty sure Cristiano Ronaldo is still in the stadium smashing free kicks into the stands. We discuss why Bobby Martinez should use Ronaldo sparingly in the next game. Plus, those French slugs bag another...

This is a brilliant segment from our sister show – On The Continent – that we thought you had to hear. This week, Andy and Dotun were joined by Nicky Bandini to discuss Italy’s dramatic exit on Saturday and Nicky brilliantly explains how things went wrong – both on the pitch and in the press room for Luciano Spalletti. Note to self: if you’re thinking about saying something that will mean you need...

Marcus, Luke and Jim get their heart rates down long enough to recap a truly absurd game of football, as England scrape past Slovakia more by luck than judgement. But who cares, because we’ve got Jude Bellingham. We try to separate what could have happened from what did actually happen as we look over Gareth Southgate’s decisions, England’s tactics and what happens next. Elsewhere, Spain remind us...

The Euros knockout stages are here! Marcus, Pete, Vish and Jim praise Germany’s band of brash brothers as they muscled past Denmark thanks to some VAR nonsense and Jim’s under the radar scouting pick, Jamal Musiala. Elsewhere, Italy were knocked out without even a whimper and we look ahead to the small matter of England’s date with destiny Slovakia. At least the supporters will now be able to enjo...

We’ve had Sven, Capello, McClaren and Hodgson come before him - so how will we remember Gareth Southgate? Marcus, Luke and Andy wonder why the English public keep saying the same things about England over the years, and whether winning a tournament would actually change anything. Elsewhere in less soul-searching, heartfelt matters, we work out who we’d support if/when England get knocked out and d...