Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the secret behind Watford's managerial recruitment strategy, Luis Enrique on "farmers leagues", a superb conclusion to a fine couple of weeks for football-themed papal conclave discourse, Premier League managers’ names in UFO sightings, Clive Tyldesley’s legal rights over the name “Clive”, bawdy...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of Inter 4-3 Barcelona (from both sides of the Atlantic), the fascinating depths of the Trent Alexander-Arnold legacy discourse, MK Dons going round in circles as they unveil their new crest, a journey into the unravelling media persona of Graham Potter, the football-inspi...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as they clock up 1,001 combined pod appearances. On the agenda: some perfectly timed crowd noise to meet a commentator's 4/10 pun, Andy Gray's influence on snooker commentary, Kevin De Bruyne giving the shortest shrift possible to a stat, Crystal Palace fans vs Eberechi Eze's penalty run-up, Trent Alexander-Arno...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are gaslighting your partner with deliberately difficult football trivia, the art of skipping highlights to perfectly miss out the punditry, the modern game’s addiction to the pr...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Wembley's drum-beat woodwork, the most "mid-2000s FIFA game" commentary of the season, why Newcastle now must win 21 league titles in a row or the world will implode, the textbook FA Cup final pairing, and mapping Manchester United's doldrums era to that of Liverpool's 1990-2020. Meanwhile, the p...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: managers accidentally inviting Dave to their birthday parties, Clive Tyldesley's Substack innuendo, ex-Premier League managers’ names in popes, fascinatingly-named Malaysian referees, Chris Sutton's Sir Jim Ratcliffe impression, the most perfectly flowing EFL crowd noise of the season Meanwhile,...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mark Clattenburg's Generation Alpha breakthrough, the search continues for the origin of "pre-assist", the dubious footballing memory of Paul Scholes, the fascinating name of the Malaysia national team captain, interim popes with Premier League interim managers’ names and Richard Keys in top wind...

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller to pick a lineup of players destined to be subject to the gravitational pull of the Premier League to give it (at least) one more crack in the next few years. The selection process involves some written-off goalkeepers, defenders who will come crawling back from Saudi Arabia, veteran midfielders doing one more season at thei...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Prince William's absurdly highly-acclaimed "punditry", the Premier League club that would produce the most uneventful in-house documentary, the criteria for a team to "roar back" from a losing position, the self-proclaimed inventor of the "pre-assist" and the Cliches pod makes its TikTok debut. M...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: A scandalous Sunday League saga, obscure staff members on Transfermarkt, Chris Sutton manufacturing his disapproval for modern footballing jargon, some joyful commentary that only a Niclas Fullkrug header could inspire and improvised electroacoustic albums inspired by injury-plagued former Premi...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Kevin De Bruyne greatness fatigue, the concept of "pulling rank" at a set piece, a new low for clickbait football headlines, the indignity of a manager being sacked before they can go down with the ship, several huge problems with the football realism in an ITV detective series and Keys & Gray corner ro...

The pod welcomes the content-creating genius that is Bryan's Gunn - aka Will Powell - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Will's selections are foreign managers picking up English footballing jargon, Chris Wilder's go-to catchprase, the near-extinct art of goalkeepers just booting the ball upfield, and unnece...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: football pundits available on a free transfer, Big Dan Burn's week becomes a fortnight, a commentator superbly self-policing his woodwork judgment, some unexpected co-commentary during North Macedonia vs Wales, the Maldini/Baresi myth claims a high-profile victim, ex-Spurs defenders in Jonas Brot...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the curious tradition of a visiting team's pre-match stroll around the pitch, the reactions of fans behind a goal observed during an action replay, the moral seesaw of witnes...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the ongoing inability of the USA to put together a decent football team, a possible new world record for away fans not realising their team have scored at the opposite end, the Danish media's absurd player-ratings systems and niche player-on-player social media spats. Meanwhile, the panel ponder...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name on Pointless, Wilfried Zaha confronts some modern footballing discourse head-on, Patrik Schick's uniquely selfish attacking statistics this season, a Europa League legend bows out, a pundit finally confronts the "players geeing up the crowd" epidemic, "the Lio...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the League Cup's modern status as a "springboard" for its winners, Gary Neville stealing Peter Drury's lines, Dan Burn and the "what a week he's having" threshold, the German concept of a "Sunday goal", some beautiful commentary vibrato, and Doncaster's manager on "swings and roundabouts". Meanwh...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the near-universal enjoyment of Liverpool vs PSG, second-tier German woodwork noises, some fascinating BBC archive content involving some disgruntled 1970s Match of the Day viewers, the most common object used to explain the offside law and much more. Meanwhile, the panel confidently pred...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a very appropriate Glastonbury slot for one football-adjacent artist, Sky's obsession with Arsenal's 11.2-yard wall at a Manchester United free kick, LinkedIn's latest football breakthrough, a tremendous Footballers’ Names in Things from Down Under, some unacceptable self-co-commentary at 5-a-sid...

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to pick a lineup of players who have provoked the most endless wider debate about their on-pitch roles. The selection process takes in the precise moment a certain type of goalkeeper became brutally obsolete, a stand-out choice at right-back, inverted left-backs, overadventurous centre-backs, England’s infamous "perennial left-sided prob...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some entry-level superlatives for Lionel Messi, Jean-Philippe Mateta and the "if you did that to someone on the street" test, some hugely undignified refereeing body language on the way for 2025/26, some technical issues with declaring "the fastest red card ever", a commentator in perfect sync wi...

The Football Clichés Quiz returns, with the pod aiming to end their dismal run of trivia form against Jonathan Wilson's football history podcast It Was What It Was The questions include: Bundesliga goals of the month, World Cup final equalisers, Englishmen abroad, Hungarian hat-tricks, a man who played against Kevin Keegan AND Cristiano Ronaldo, European clubs’ travel distances, four-letter FIFA n...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Liverpool can now be described as "champions-elect", Dion Dublin struggles with a meandering property analogy, a listener fact-checks a Match of the Day joke about Rishi Sunak, a slightly-too-niche football reference on a mainstream TV quiz show, and much more. Meanwhile, the panel ponder...

Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the various types of football-related social media profile pictures, the efficient language of mid-game team-mate praise, the correct level of thanks a ball boy should get from play...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the rare sound of a football crowd chuckling in unison, a definitive list of football’s acceptable “things-in-chief”, a deep dive into the nuances of Jude Bellingham’s La Liga dissent, some classic-style 96th-minute olé-ing from Argentina, Manchester City midfielders’ names in Northumbrian psych-...