Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Champions League broadcasting quirks, Alan Shearer and the extinct art of crossing the ball, the most prefix-defying clubs of the 92, the rise and fall of managers "issuing a war cry" and much more. Meanwhile, the panel speculate on what would happen to a precocious goalscorer who couldn’...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary, a new Premier League low bar for irony, whether Southampton 0 Burnley 1 counts as an FA Cup upset, some inconvenient truths about Manchester City's trip to Leyton Orient, unexpected Portuguese footballers' names in things and home advantag...

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for another clash of niche football trivia, as the pod take on Match of the Day commentators James Fielden, Mark Scott and Chris Wise. The questions include: problematically-named second-tier Peruvians, Serie A broadcasters, fraudulent Fernandeses, Brentford substitutes of the early 2020s, Harry Redknapp’s go-to historical tyrant, incredibly obscure football theme...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Fabian Hurzeler upgrades the traditional football "basics", darts and chess offer their versions of "the 12th man", an unexpected superstar signing for Club Brugge, Premier League players wrestle with some traditional English football phrases, and much more. Meanwhile, the panel discuss the art o...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: yet another new rival for the "corridor of uncertainty", the media taking Ruben Amorim slightly too literally, a listener's deciding an appropriate scoreline for his hernia operation, more Ligue 1 voiceover curiosity, and a tribute to the soon-to-be-retired Eurosport brand. Meanwhile, the...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Walker's Ribblesdale Rovers side have a relegation battle on their hands, a subtle misremembering of that Sir Alex Ferguson quote, Jamie Redknapp's curious refereeing vote of confidence, former England wingers on Antiques Roadshow, accidental UK garage from Ange Postecoglou, some pathological footballsp...

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Football Cliches podcast's fifth anniversary. The agenda includes: a Serie A commentary tribute from an unexpected source, the 1990 version of “if Lionel Messi did that, we’d all be raving about it”, yet another Premier League name in a true-crime documentary, co-commentator Gary Breen plucks some Barry Manilow out of nowhere, a o...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more sub-standard depictions of football fans in advertising, football commentators’ names in Anglo-Australian crime dramas, the greatest substitution in the history of the Scottish Cup, the perennial joy of a stadium exclaiming something in perfect unison and a pedantic observation...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Chloe Petts to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are how football improves our basic maths, players' pointless pre-match Instagram content, a half-time dad joke from an Evert...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the FA Cup third round, Ray Parlour sums up the Second World War in 16 superb seconds, someone finally reveals who the best footballer in the world was in 1863, the Sam Allardici of building materials and the worst fake football commentary ever heard in the backg...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and, for his 250th Cliches appearance, David Walker. On the agenda: Newcastle having “a little toe” in the Carabao Cup final, an updated cast list for the Roy Keane/Mick McCarthy film, whether a lob could ever "rattle the crossbar", a Liam Delap penalty that sounds like late-90s trip-hop, a defence of Ferencvaros' credentials a...

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the first Adjudication Panel of 2025. On the agenda: Richard Keys and Dwight Yorke disagree over Harry Maguire's 0.62xG miss, Don Goodman invents a new mid-game mini time period, Jonathan Pearce sounding like Axl Rose, a never-before-uttered animal analogy for a veteran goalgetter, a perfect hat-trick of Andy Townsending, Ange Posteco...

Ally McCoist on the animal kingdom, footballers' names in 1980s detective series, commentators answering their own rhetorical questions, the “bit of both” cultural revolution, Gary Lineker on the pod, some vintage Andy Townsend, the Pure European Championship XI, the career paths of Mick McCarthy and Steve Coogan finally colliding, Charlie Eccleshare’s iconic Talksport welcome, Richard Keys’s voic...

The Football Clichés Quiz returns - and it's a niche footballing trivia rematch with the quiz specialists from the Career We Go podcast. The questions include: Exotically named offspring of Barclays-era flops, Boxing Day belters, Andy Gray’s imaginary conversations, guess the Christmas goalscorer from the commentary, geriatric South American strike partnerships, Match of the Day voiceover men, inf...

In a special edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, the Clichés team select some of their ultimate footballing fascinations and irritations. Among Adam, Charlie and Dave's selections are the enduring fallacy of relegation-threatened teams “fighting for their lives”, the theory behind the greatest lower-body aesthetic in football history, the haggard goalnets of midweek 5-a-side and the childish envy when...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a new term for slapstick defending, a historic day for Premier League manager sackings, more accidentally operatic BBC commentary, some dubious red-card stadium music in Australia and much more. Meanwhile, the panel decide when Manchester City's "blip" became a "slump" and then a full-blown "cris...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mick McCarthy on Steve Coogan playing him in a film, Charlton manager Nathan Jones takes on the weather, Martin Keown on the re-opening of Notre Dame, a curious injury league table from the BBC, Sky Sports commentators inexplicably sampled in experimental French electronica and a tautolog...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Cole Palmer's perfect Panenka, the latest breach of Match of the Day protocol, the minor media obsession with getting managers to admit their team is in the title race, obscure mid-90s Spurs midfielders in Netflix comedies and the dream scenario for fans ridiculing the opposition goalkeeper's goa...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some baffling new transferspeak, some glorious audio of away fans thinking they've scored and being immediately ridiculed by the home crowd, the nichest FA Cup draw content you will ever consume, more average mid-90s English wingers’ names in things and Richard Keys going 80% Partridge as...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the mainstream media jump on the Pep Sacking Threshold bandwagon, some beautifully unnecessary detail about a headed goal, a commentator lets down Robbie Savage very gently, former Blackburn wingers' names implicated in boat murders, the first ever goal uploaded to YouTube, a Harry Redknapp headl...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are free-kick decoy duties in Sunday League, predicting the moment the "olés" are about to start as a team sees out a comfortable win, the delicate act of picking balanced teams...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in chronological knots, Martin Keown lavishes himself with the highest footballing praise, famously unfriendly footballers’ names in American T-junctions and Keys & Gray’s ill-fated 2011 bid to br...

The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly u...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy...

The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away k...