Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Conor Coady introduces himself as a Wrexham player in customary style, the awkwardness of double-header friendlies, the alphabetical distribution of team names in the top European leagues, some astonishing pedantry on Jimmy Greaves' Wikipedia page, textbook Andy Townsend radio chatter and much m...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more Cliches references in wrestling commentary, Adam suffers a textbook "freak footballer injury" in real life, a cultural review of UK soap operas referencing England’s Euro 2025 glory, the glorious names of the vanquished non-League clubs in the FA Cup extra preliminary round, "the most 2011 transfer...

The twentieth installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on James Maw, Jack Pitt-Brooke and Dan Kilpatrick from the Athletic's Tottenham podcast The View From The Lane The questions include: Premier League sextuple goalsmen, 32-year-old footballers, incomplete XIs, the moderately well trodden path from Tottenham to Los Angeles, famous football voices dubbed into fore...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the body language of players who should have had the ball squared to them but their team scored anyway, high-risk extra-curricular goalkeeping activity, unrealistic football...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 2 Italy 1, Alan Brazil gets his head around the "Barclaysman" concept, the threshold for "weathering an early storm", Florian Wirtz blind-ranking potatoes and Troy Deeney offers some precious insight into being an elite-level player. Meanwhile, the panel discuss...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Watford calling their new striker "free-scoring", the statute of limitations on a commentator's curse, adventurous commentators in UEFA Conference League qualifying, Besiktas find the most Besiktas solution to being snubbed by Kyle Walker-Peters, two-cap England internationals in Austro-Bavarian...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The knowledgeable Wimbledon crowd being too knowledgeable, ex-Tottenham midfield maestros in West African percussion, Adam's addiction to identifying football matches in the background of TV shows, questionable depictions of the football calendar in Danish science fiction novels and much mo...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England meeting the Euro 2025 "lift-off" criteria, unexpected new players in the transfer-reporting game, Aston Villa marksmen in Basque hip-hop lyrics, an unorthodox analogy for Iran's terror threat to the UK, 90s football injuries you don't hear about, and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Commentators vs Fancy Kit Fonts, Joao Pedro (almost) literally repays a chunk of his transfer fee, politicians getting football wrong Pt.1,586, the club most likely to sign the current Free Agent XI, and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's karaoke with an EFL goal machine's wife, the tennis equivalent of a goal going in off the crossbar, a possible world record for a player’s exaggerated percentage of effort given for their team, Watford's cowardly kit statement, a familiar crowd noise pops up in a 2002 ITV drama and Richard...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The return of an allegedly iconic football TV programme, a never-before-seen method of laying out a starting XI, fears for an England team in a European major-tournament heatwave and the hypothetical situation of a team that wins every single game 1-0. Meanwhile, the panel imagine Wimbledon...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Celeste refusing to play the Super Sunday theme tune at Glastonbury, the club we really should have predicted would sign a nine-goal striker called Vivaldo, the prospect of substituted players being interviewed live on TV next season, Jhon Duran's curious career path, Conor McNamara's freestyle C...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the injury reports in 5-a-side group chats, players who look like they think throw-ins are beneath them, the horror of watching a game on a TV from an angle of less than 40 d...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: which player could most plausibly play for all 32 Club World Cup teams, the inevitability of Ref Cam in the Premier League, more inappropriate EFL new-signing language, slightly desperate football references in Channel 4 TV listings, describing players as "Swiss Army knives" and the first glimpse...

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Bundesliga commentator Kevin Hatchard to compile the quintessential lineup of players from modern German football. The selection process involves some unhinged goalkeepers, giant defenders fathered by US military servicemen, lesser-known Brazilians, meat-and-potatoes midfielders, Japanese imports who stayed forever, German Under-21 inte...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some early Club World Cup observations (including DAZN's motley crew of pundits and co-commentators), an unexpected Nigel Farage-based analogy, barely-audible Andy Hinchcliffe co-commentary in Ukrainian dance music, Kyle Walker's Turkish Super Lig credentials, a double header of football referenc...

& David Walker. On the agenda: the half-hearted fallout from England 1-3 Senegal, Scotland's George Hirst mixes up his metaphorical goalscoring relief, why Claudio Ranieri should go to the World Cup, an unexpected exclamation from a South American commentator and cash vs curiosity as the Club World Cup looms. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some elite-level Reddit pedantry and thrash out the definition...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Clichés army react to Dave's big news, Thomas Tuchel enters familiar territory for an England manager, Lee Dixon continues to settle into his co-commentary caricature, Ange Postecoglou and other managers "always welcome back at [Stadium X]", acceptable new-signing adjectives from EFL social m...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & Nick Miller. On the agenda: the bonus Tom Cruise punditry we all wanted to hear, the traditional opening bell for the England/World Cup news cycle, tracking down the Richard Keys commentary from an early-90s management sim, the unofficial Cristiano Ronaldo classical music night, Dan Walker mixes up Baroque composers wi...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: US advertising getting the Champions League exquisitely wrong, the suffocating sycophancy of watching the final with David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Tom Brady, out-of-work football managers in basketball novels, 7/10 football debates in Netflix crime dramas, Tesco introduces VAR at its self-service...

The pod welcomes Jacob Hawley and Jake Farrell - aka The Screen Rot Podcast - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as they choose their six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among their selections are the criteria for being a "proper football club", judging anonymous 5-a-side teammates by the obscurity of the kit they’re wearing, referee bias when the ball is being kept...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the art of the double guard of honour, a baffling soundtrack to Napoli’s Scudetto ceremony, England one-cap wonders' names in old episodes of The Bill, Premier League players whose names belong in other sports and the start of what could be the greatest saga in investigative football podcasting history....

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Will Still’s inevitable English football unveiling edges closer, the Etihad reaction to Omar Marmoush’s wonder goal, Lionel Messi pops up in Mobland, mid-table Eredivisie clubs in sci-fi novels and some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from Serie A. Meanwhile, the panel decide what makes a...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the weekend's hat-trick of feelgood football stories (feat. Sean Dyche's co-commentary vindication), a surprise football name in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a superbly named Scottish police officer, a perfectly proportionate voiceover in an advert for An Evening With Matt Le Tissier and Harry...

The Football Clichés Quiz returns to take on EFL specialists Ali Maxwell, George Elek (and ringer ex-pro David Prutton) from the Not The Top 20 podcast. The questions include: UEFA Cup final brace-baggers, play-off semi-final assists, stadiums with "Road" in their name, lower-division England debutants, famous football voices dubbed into foreign languages, iconic commentary recited from memory, gu...