Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the story behind an FA Cup penalty shootout commentary curiosity, a familiar sound effect in a Roman history documentary, the least cool item of clothing ever worn by a top-flight manager, someone selling match-worn Premier League referees' shirts on Vinted and Keys & Gray switch their international all...

The pod welcomes comedy creator Rob Morgan for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Rob's selections are the minor obsession with FA Cup trophy engravers, football-inspired rhyming slang, massively overrated halfway-line goals and the ultra-modern habit of defenders celebrating their tackles. Meanwhile, the Adjudi...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: some very niche feedback on Peter Drury's commentary, a never-before-attempted example of “X of Sport Y" hyperbole, Jonathan Pearce embraces some Champions League pronunciation, Hugo Ekitike and "football's worst hauntings", one of the swiftest commentators curses of all time, a PE teacher sacked for ly...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the egalitarian approach of football results shows, the psychological impact of the height of the main camera angle, that moment of uncertainty as a referee indicates a goal...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Gary Neville finds a new frequency of noise at Anfield, whether Evangelos Marinakis is too "chaos Serie A" for Our League, Soccer Saturday somehow invents a new scoreline format after 33 years, Liverpool having too many rangy forwards and the earliest you can "not want this first half to end". Me...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Nick's first-hand account of Cape Verde's World Cup qualification glory, an important question about pitch-invading animals, Thomas Tuchel defies the manufactured outrage once again, the most “in the departure lounge” England player, football clichés as film titles and a long-overdue asses...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Lee Dixon invents some new "goalkeeper's not saving that" hyperbole, Sean Dyche's potential new job, the difference between "comedy" and "bizarre" own goals, poor cricket knowledge in Stephen King novels, the Daily Mail's "Champagne Socialists XI", footballers who forget to officially retire, ten...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: early feedback from the Clichés Live tour, the latest clumsy football/politics crossover, a niche selection headache for Thomas Tuchel, former Premier League managers in University Challenge answers and Lampardian transitions from 94-year-old grandfathers. Meanwhile, the panel backpedal,...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether the Premier League title race can be "blown open" after seven games, some tantalising punditspeak in the stands at Old Trafford, Martin Keown mixes up his sporting terminology, Nick Woltemade’s never-before-seen penalty, experimental football chat on the Rest is History, Ange Postecoglou...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the definitive ruling on which David Brent sound was made by Jon Champion, fact-checking Ally McCoist's enthusiasm, Jose Mourinho going through the motions on his latest return to Stamford Bridge, Team Europe's excruciating Ryder Cup chant performance, footballing "goldfish bowls" and a l...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Clichés pod continues to influence UK broadcasters, the club statement about a sacked Premier League manager to use a corner flag photo, a development in PGMOL handball semantics, the official new unit of measurement for experience, classy touches from rival Christian denominations, footballs...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the universal authority of the "come short" hand gesture, managers who sign their own sons, Jeff Stelling's trademark goal teases and answering basic footballing questions fr...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: satisfying goal commentaries on Match of the Day, Arne Slot learns a very mundane English sporting word, the “sick of the sight of him” threshold, surprise Andy Townsend co-commentary in a song intro, commentators taking 5.88 seconds to realise a goal has been scored, how a team becomes “all-conq...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's subliminal, accidental Andy Gray impression, a massively overdone Champions League scene-setting montage from Amazon Prime Video, Jose Mourinho’s last remaining elite quality is brought into question, inadvertent footballers’ names in wrestling podcasts and typically tuneless Ameri...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Match of the Day intro scandal is concluded peacefully, football commentators' names in 14th-century bequeathals, the puzzling punditry quantification of goalkeepers' influence, Scott Parker goes a bit too deep about Burnley's low block, musical commentary from MLS, Keith Andrews' flourishing...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some niche observations from Serbia 0 England 5, welcoming Cape Verde's imminent World Cup qualification with open arms, the unfinishedness of Ange Postecoglou's business, football commentators’ names in Suffolk castles’ family fun days and a review of Mick McCarthy and Tony Pulis's new p...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: an unprecedented twist on the "knowledgeable crowd", a listener spots something in the Match of the Day intro, Michael Owen's semi-ironic new era, some exquisite football pedantry in the case of the FA vs Lucas Paqueta, a never-before-considered research project into Premier League draws, the most “cat am...

In another superb trivia clash, the 21st installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on Jonathan Wilson, Jack Pitt-Brooke and John Brewin from the Libero podcast. The questions include: World Cup winners with the names of prime ministers, Premier League beanpoles, domestic cup-final losers, top-flight match balls, various football figures dubbed into European language...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Troy Deeney and Joel Ward mangle their punditry clichés, a highly appropriate sound is heard after Brighton score their winner against Man City, the New York Times' crossword shows football no respect, Jack Grealish takes the "great to se him enjoying his football again" crown, mid-game things players h...

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the players' disbelieving reactions to team-mates' wondergoals, goalkeepers who react furiously to Panenkas against them, the anxiety of shooting into an empty g...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Stockley Park canteen saga rumbles on, inexplicable TV cameos from Sean Dyche, the closest we’ve come to locating the end of Graham Potter’s tether, footballing events that are too big to be “sliding-doors moments”, an incredible deployment of “for my sins”, some glorious proverbial-cotton-wo...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Jon Champions lowers the commentary tone in the Champions League qualifiers, Sky Sports' on-screen butchering of the embryonic Premier League table, a classic football geography error in Sherlock & Co, a sat-nav voiced by a football pundit and the maximum number of footballing "times of a...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Match of the Day's non-evolution, the opening-weekend Premier League verdicts on who to fear for/who'll be fine, the concept of “knocking on the door" of the opposition, a low-key early contender for "game’s gone" moment of the season, a finely-poised "watching football on holiday" dilemma, refer...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the nichest world record in football is shattered once again, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's ex-footballer/Strictly contestant spiel, the extinguishing of Celeste’s five-year Sky Sports flame, why Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Leeds just feels so right, throwaway footballspeak in Homer’s Iliad and...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural mini-review of the Community Shield, some glorious crowd-noise from the Championship, the decline of the word "amid" continues, Dean Saunders reboots his campaign against football jargon, Sunderland's transfer strategy goes back to basics and yet another Lionel Messi landmark. Meanwhil...