Flying Free

These are the questions that gnaw at your bones, that leave your soul hungry, and keep you up at night. Questions asked from the fire, the long road, the dark, and the doubt. Questions like: How do you deal with the pain of being rejected by your family? You're in good company. I understand; I can relate; and there are answers and a way forward, even in the middle of your deepest pain.  " The fact...

I get so many questions from women in the Flying Free and Flying Higher programs related to parenting older, adult children who grew up in toxic homes. One of the most common? How do I support my aduilt children who grew up in an spiritually and emotionally abusive home? These relationships can be painful, tricky, and even traumatic because often the adult kids blame their mom either for getting o...

We all want to be part of a story. One of bravery, overcoming the odds, healing, beauty, and a greater purpose. In the overwhelm of trauma, all of these things seem out of reach, stolen from us, lost in the wasteland of our pain. But reclaiming our lives through words is one of the most powerful and effective ways to heal, and it's available to anyone! Learn how writing your story will help you he...

Sara was trapped in an abusive marriage. Her pain was only exceeded by the overwhelming confusion. After exhausting every avenue of help and hope, she reached a conclusion critical to every survivor's freedom and recovery: You are not responsible for your husband's behavior. Over the last three years she's been working to heal and rebuild her life, eventually starting her own business as a copywri...

My life had become a war zone. If there were red flags beforehand, I didn’t see them. I thought I was part of a fairy tale, a beautiful romance, a love story for the ages. My husband changed after we got married. I followed the script, I made all the effort, I took all the blame and responsibility. Nothing ever helped and nothing ever changed. Until I realized I could save myself.  This is Barb’s...

Parenting small children is hard. Parenting small children in an emotionally destructive home is brutal. You’re in survival mode, living in a waking nightmare. You’re confused, in pain, and don’t know how to help yourself, much less your kids. You need clarity and guidance. This podcasts gives both. Natalie covers: the lies women/children believe because of abuse the dynamics created by an abusive...

Lipstick on a pig: when you take something stinky, gross, even harmful, and try to repackage it as beautiful, desirable, and helpful. That’s complementarianism — the religious belief that women were created to be ruled over, to fulfill only certain roles, and made inherently less than the men, who have a god-given right to be their mini-lords. Gender roles contribute to emotional abuse in the home...

You spend every conversation talking in circles, being told why you're always at fault, apologizing for anything he did wrong, and feeling like a piece of human trash. The chance that you're experiencing gaslighting is 100%. It's a favorite tactic among abusers because it's extremely effective. This podcast is a one-two punch of knowledge and empowerment, exactly what women stuck in the mire of ga...

What if your desire to avoid hurting anyone is actually the reason you ARE hurting them? What if you're actually hurting YOURSELF by living out this desire too? Boundaries don't hurt others, despite the loud voices that tell you otherwise. Healthy boundaries aren't meant to control other people, ensure they think well of you, or make you into a prickly cactus no one can approach. They're a way of...

In our interview with Patrick Doyle, find out: How do you know you’re dealing with someone who isn’t safe? What is the number one goal of an unsafe church and an unsafe person? What are the two rules for knowing if someone is safe or not? What is the number one way to protect yourself from an abusive relationship? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Relat...

How do you respond when your partner sends you two totally different messages? One message says he loves you and will do anything to make things right. The other message says you're making a big deal out of nothing, and you're actually the problem. Which message is true?  In this episode, Daphne, Natalie, and Rachel talk about: What your partner is really communicating and how you can know for sur...

In this episode we interview financial planner, Leah Hadley. Find out: The importance of having a financial advisor trained in divorce settlements/planning. Why not knowing anything about finances or your marital financials DOESN'T mean you can't get a fair shake! Resources/strategies to prepare yourself for divorce (or even if you're already in the middle of one). Access the transcript, read the...

You've been telling him for years how hurtful his behavior is. Literally begging him to stop. It's like beating your head against a wall. You've reached your breaking point. Then he tosses out a question your heart longed to hear from the beginning: "What can I do to fix this?" Right at the end. Right before your feet hit the pavement. Right before you've given up. What now? Learn about 3 critical...

When Lynn, a widow and registered nurse, met her abuser for the first time, she thought he was a safe bet. Who could be safer than a pastor and former missionary? But once he had her hooked in, he tore down her dignity and identity through shaming and neglect. Lynn shares her long journey of waking up to the shaking reality that even religious leaders can be wolves in sheep's clothing.  Find out w...

You're the problem. An angry woman, a discontent wife, a troublemaker, the ungodly one. You've heard this over and over, in your mind, at church, and from your husband. Why can't you get it together? Where do all the rage, frustration, and ugliness come from?    What if the question is the answer?    Abusers don't ask if they are abusive.    Natalie, Daphne, and Rachel discuss the common reactions...

What if I lose my kids? How can I stand up for myself in the process of divorce when my husband seems to hold all the cards? How will I keep it together as I climb this ladder out of hell ? These questions haunt women in abusive marriages who want to escape. There is hope and there are answers. In this episode, Wendy Hernandez, a Phoenix family law attorney, divorce coach, founder of the Hernandez...

Trust is risk. Trust forces us to decide what we believe, make choices based on those beliefs, and respect what others choose to believe and do. We aren't called to control others, please everybody, or even defend our decisions. But we are called to live bravely using the knowledge, experience, and power we have.  Trusting God doesn't mean we all make the same choices.   We are only responsible fo...

Have you ever been told to let the past be the past (even though the past is your present and your present is a prison disguised as a marriage)? Robin walked on eggshells and hid herself away to survive. After years in an abusive marriage, she believed God didn’t love her and that he hated divorce more than anything. She was taught that her body wasn’t her own, and her job was to make her husband...

Forgiveness is one of the ultimate Christian virtues, right after love. It “sets the prisoners free.” Except in your life. It keeps you defenseless and bound to people who are determined to keep harming you. Forgiveness seems like a superhighway to destruction, the restart button for more craziness and pain. So, should you keep forgiving someone who keeps hurting you…and how? Access the transcript...

Natalie interviews Anne Resler about the connection between spiritual and emotional abuse and how they work together to control and neutralize the voices of Christian women. Anne's work as an author and counselor illuminates the brainwashing of many Christian women as well as how God and the Bible have been weaponized against them. Her conversations with survivors allow her to identify behavior pa...

We are extremely powerful in this world. We don’t even know the power of a woman because our world has used so many tools to crush us into the ground.  That’s why our personal work is so critical to our world. We may not see the full impact of the work that we do on our personal lives, but I guarantee that it's not going to be for nothing.  You can be an example of what's possible for your childre...

While Julie experienced more overt abuse during her formative years, she ended up married to a quiet, covert abuser with a hidden lifestyle. " The hidden abuse made far more lasting marks on my soul than the overt abuse I experienced as a child ever did ." Find out what helped her decide to pay the price for freedom. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If...

Emotional abuse victims are often labeled as codependent because they stay in their destructive relationship for so long. If you think you're codependent because you're choosing to stay with an emotionally abusive partner, we'd like to offer the suggestion that some victims may just be playing tennis with the wrong player for some really good reasons, and they aren't codependent at all. Access the...

Author, speaker, and counselor, Bob Hamp, dives deep into the ways religion kills people. This is a fascinating interview about good, evil, and the connection that sets us free from both.   Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here   Related Resources:  Bob Hamp is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author of several books , speaker, and director of Thin...

In this episode I talk about the challenge abuse survivors face when they begin to tell others what has happened to them. This is where they discover the truth that many of the relationships that they had were actually built on the shaky premise that they had to capitulate to the opinions and desires of everyone around them in order to be loved and accepted by other people.  They realize that it w...