Flying Free

Let’s talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” It's a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling. If you've spent your life apologizing for taking up space, smiling when you wanted to scream, or feeling guilty about...

In this episode I’m answering a pressing question Christian women in difficult marriages ask: how do you find a church that will actually support you instead of silence you? Because not all churches are created equal, and the difference between a safe church and a harmful one can change everything for a woman trying to find her footing. I’ll break down exactly what to look for, what to ask, and wh...

In this episode, I sit down with my real-life friend Jessica, a pastor's wife whose story intersects with mine: her husband was a pastor at the very church that excommunicated me. What started as a conversation about her story turned into one of the most layered, honest episodes I think we've ever recorded. Jessica spent decades being told her emotions were idols, her feelings weren't facts, and h...

This is part four of the High Functioning Christian Women in Destructive Marriages series, and today we talk about a concept that ties the whole series together: sovereignty.  Synonyms for sovereignty include: freedom, autonomy, and independence. If you've spent years managing everyone's needs, shrinking your own, and building an identity around your capacity to give without limit, this episode wi...

This is Part Three of our series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. You are the woman people call when something complicated needs solving. You read rooms, spot patterns, and get it right. And yet in this one area of your life, you have been told that your judgment, specifically, cannot be trusted. Key Takeaways: Why the very perceptiveness that makes you exceptional eve...

This is Part Two of my series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. In Part One, we explored how the very qualities that make these women extraordinary are the same ones that make them exceptionally vulnerable. Today we're going deeper into one of the most specific and targeted of those qualities: empathy. If you've ever felt like your compassion is working against you, lik...

So many capable, gifted Christian women are living a double life that is impressive in public, but diminished in private, and they don't even have words for what's happening to them. This episode will change that. 🔑 Key Takeaways: There's a specific kind of loneliness that has nothing to do with being sad, and it's far more common among high-functioning Christian women The reason you can run a bu...

This is one of my favorite interviews! Today I’m talking with my friend, Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks, author of Gaslighted by God , Holy Ghosted , and her brand-new book, To Rebehold the Stars: Reimagining Faith After Deconstruction. If you've walked through the painful process of deconstructing the toxic theology you inherited, this conversation is going to knock your socks off.  Drawing from Dante'...

What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he's such a great guy when you know the truth? 🔑 Key Takeaways: Why seeing your ex after months can feel like all your progress disappeared (it didn't) What trauma bonding actually does to your memory of the relationship Why emotionally abusive people seem so great to everyone else The false equivalency that...

In this episode we tackle three questions: What happens when the abuser is the one who leaves? How do you live with the fear of post-separation or post-divorce revenge? And what do you do when your friends just don't get it? 🔑 Key Takeaways: Why some abusers discard their victims (and what it reveals about your progress) The difference between fear you should listen to and fear that steals your p...

This isn't my typical podcast episode. Today I get personal, sharing why I’ve decided to pursue graduate studies in theology after experiencing profound spiritual abuse throughout my entire life. If you've read All the Scary Little Gods , you know my story, and you might be wondering why I’d ever step back into that world. I invite you into my journey of healing, my commitment to simplicity in 202...

In Episode 369 of the Flying Free Podcast, you’ll learn a term that's more accurate than "narcissistic abuse,” and it's actually being recognized in courts of law. This is part four of The Narcissism Trap Series, and it shifts everything from trying to diagnose your partner to recognizing what's really happening to you. If you've been stuck wondering whether he meets the clinical criteria for narc...

In this third episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we shift from personal validation to legal strategy, exploring why the very word that brought you clarity could be the thing that sinks your court case. We’ll look at how judges actually view labels like "narcissist" and why focusing on clinical diagnoses can unintentionally dilute accountability and hand a "gift" to your ex’s legal team. 🎯 Key...

In this second episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we open up the DSM-5 and walk through the actual clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder but with a crucial twist. 🎯 Key Takeaways: The diagnosis you're hunting for might be the least of your problems. Even if your partner doesn't meet all nine DSM-5 criteria for NPD, you can still be experiencing serious harm in your relations...

In this kickoff to a powerful new series, The Narcissism Trap , Natalie Hoffman challenges a popular narrative in abuse recovery: labeling an emotionally abusive partner as a “narcissist.”  While that term may feel validating at first, Natalie explains how it can actually work against your healing by keeping you locked in the wrong story.  If you've been Googling “narcissist” at 2 a.m. to make sen...

What happens when you stop asking for permission in an abusive marriage? Today, Jillian shares her story of waking up to covert abuse in her Christian marriage and what it took to finally get out. You'll hear how she recognized the patterns, why she chose to leave despite having a young son, and what life looks like now on the other side. If you've been wondering whether things could actually be d...

What if an AI could help you organize your abuse evidence, understand your trauma, and save you thousands in legal fees? Aimee Says isn't just another AI tool—it's a specialized digital health platform that understands power and control dynamics, helps you document patterns of abuse, organizes your evidence for court, and keeps your data completely private and encrypted. Whether you're trying to u...

How do you actually break free from emotional and spiritual abuse in your Christian home? Most Christian women stay stuck because nobody tells them the truth: breaking free requires three specific stages.  In this episode, you'll find out why you keep falling for the "honeymoon phase" trap, what you need to do first before anything else, and why writing everything down literally saves your sanity....

If you've been told that staying married "for the kids" is the most loving choice you can make, this episode will challenge everything you thought you knew about protecting your children. The truth is, emotional and spiritual abuse doesn't just harm you, it rewires your children's brains, damages their attachment systems, and poisons their relationship with God. Research shows that staying in a hi...

What is the weapon Christian abusers most commonly use? In this sixth installment of the Emotional Abuse 101 series, Natalie Hoffman talks about a subtle weapon many Christian men wield in emotionally abusive relationships: criticism . But not the obvious, name-calling type. This is the more insidious, underhanded kind that’s drenched in misogyny and spiritual distortion. If you've ever wondered w...

Emotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore. 🔑 Key Takeaways: Emotional abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and body. It wounds your soul. Natalie draws a powerful connection between emotional abuse and spiritual damage, especially for C...

What happens when you're the only one trying in your marriage? When your partner seems indifferent, and you're the one praying, planning, reading, learning, bending, sacrificing only to be met with silence or worse, resistance? In this episode, Natalie peels back the layers of emotional and spiritual exhaustion that come from being the only emotionally invested person in a relationship. With grace...

In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one. 🔑 Key Takeaways: Healthy marriages = clarity, respect, and growth Abusive marriages = confusion, control, and punishment If you're constantly walking on eggshells, it's not normal.  God never asked you to sacrifice your soul on the altar of someone else's entitlement....

In this end-of-the-year BONUS episode, I want to share one of my recent PRIVATE podcast episodes exclusively for members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope only .  I also made an 8-minute video tour of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope on my phone. It will show you what the INSIDE of the Kaleidoscope looks like here at the end of 2025 and going into 2026. You can watch that on YouTube HERE. The price is g...

Have you ever been told that saying "no" makes you selfish? That good Christian women never rock the boat, always serve with a smile, and definitely do not have thoughts of their own? This episode is Part 2 of our Emotional Abuse 101 series, and today we’re diving into the art of saying no . If the idea of saying no makes your stomach flip or sends you into a guilt spiral, this episode is your lif...