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This Big Bear trip is endless and would have been so much better with Zack and Kristen. The boys are fishing for gossip more than fish. Danny is drunker than Dorinda Medley. Janet shows up in full glam to her "surprise" baby shower. The gang heads down for naps before they need to get up for dinner. Jasmine 9th wheels it at the couple's fantasy dinner. Brittany admits she would totally divorce Jax...

Just when you think VPR is a wrap, Peacock released a secrets revealed episode. Jo and Schwartz eat unlimited breadsticks that is complimented nicely with a glass of 2023 salad dressing. Twas a good year. Scheana gets her stalking from her mama. We finally get into the real numbers of how much money it takes to run Sandoval and Ariana's mansion of hell. James spends way too much money on a box of...

Imagine a VPR reunion so boring that Jax and Brittany get dragged into it and they aren't even on the cast anymore. I have been a VPR fan from the beginning but it might just be time to say it's the end. James and Sandoval flex their vocabulary skills. I make Bethenny Frankel a source of my newest tangent. Scheana says she wishes Ariana would have watched all the episodes instead of clips to get t...

Michelle "admits" the rumors that Kristen are spreading are true. Jax proves to be a real jerk. Jesse shells out marriage advice while his marriage is done. Janet loses her shit. Zach proves to be the biggest troll of all time. The way these men talk down to all of the women is disgusting but can't stop watching.

This second part of the VPR could have been an email but here we are. Happy Memorial Day and wanted to give you a little holiday treat by recapping this snoozefest of a reunion but at least there is still plenty to snark on. Something About Her is open and Ariana and Katie are ready to serve Lala a juicy sandwich filled with crow. Scheana makes everything about her...or tries to. John Mayer is get...

I still can't believe that they aren't doing a reunion for this show but whatever. Zack hates pink booties and the spy that goes with them. Janet continues to be a mean girl. Luke and Kristen basically don't talk about anything important in their relationship but want a baby. We start to see the biggest of cracks in Brittany and Jax's marriage. Danny starts to cry. Michelle hates Jesse and so much...

The first part of the VPR reunion is here and it was just eh. Lala is doing too much. Brock made me tear up and then immediately regret it. Why is Lisa there? Sandoval tells us about his new girlfriend who totally doesnt watch VPR. Ariana stays winning with Katie. Lala think she ate but really her and Scheana just come off as pathetic for camera time. Rate and Review and follow on all socials @flu...

Was this a season finale or a series finale? Because I'm ok with VPR going bye bye as long as our faves make their way to The Valley. Im in moving hell but wanted to bring you on episode for the week to recap this finale apparently sponsored by Applebees. Lala and Scheana prove to still be two faced, Brock is the worst, Katie is the ultimate girls girl and Ariana just wants the new espresso martin...

Lisa is trying to make Penny happen, and Katie and Ariana aren't looking for a threesome. Brock needs a hobby. Sandoval masters the art of opening a door and incorporating LED lights onto his stage costumes. Lala shows off her softer side by facetiming Sandoval instead of texting him to disinvite him to a party he wasn't invited to. Brock growing up Mormon unlocks a core memory for me. Dan goes al...

The Valley is The Best Show On Bravo and if you aren't watching it I feel bad for you. Kristen's decor is giving old school VPR shitty apartment vibes. Luke hates LA and Kristen hates Colorado so they totally should have a baby together. Jasmine and Jax go on a totally organic lunch date that wasn't set up at all by production. Jax reveals to Jasmine a rumor Kristen told him. Jax gets into a hair...

If you don't want to hear about Phil and I deciding to divorce skip to the 12 minute mark. Ex sur employee Jax visits James and Ally and starts in on his hatred for LVP and Katie. Stay toxic Jax. Between Brock's fashion choices and his "career" trajectory, Scheana and Brock will go to The Valley next season. Tom and Katie are post divorce goals. We get a 3 minute montage of the Toms going through...

The Valley is the best show Bravo has given us all year. Brittany and Jax's marriage is showing cracks. Speaking of cracks, Jesse is cracking jokes about Michelle disappearing for days with a mystery famous director. Kristen thinks she is 2 minutes pregnant and an empath. The editors do the Lord's work. Nia shares her postpartum journey. Jax turns on his leaf blower more than he turns on Brittany....

Much like my very, very distant relative Taylor Swift this week, I'm doing a double drop of my podcast. And unlike Taylor Swift this week, the VPR cast keeps cranking out music nobody has asked for. The talk of the town is Rachel's sitdown with Bethenny Frankel on one of her 100 podcasts filled with mostly ads. Scheana Shay pulls a Nick Lachey. Lala is in search for a house to host a party to see...

We delve more into Tammy and Lou's marriage: Spoiler alert...he was middle aged and she was 18. Gross. Sophie is buying horses and on an online chatroom with Uncle Richie while George and Lauri are playing dress up. Jeana has the very relatable problem of having a house for each of her children. Jo and Slade have an awkward getaway filled with hot air and bad baby jokes. Poor friends rule and rich...

Oh how the pronunciation of Capri keeps me up at night. The gang dog piles on Kristen. The dogs attack Brittany and Danny while they set up a romantic night of baby making for Luke. Janet looks guilty as hell rubbing that baby bump. Michelle wonders what secrets that Kristen is keeping safe for her. Jesse wonders what dinner jacket he will wear to the gala. Jax wonders what qualifications Kristen'...

Lala and Scheana reveal themselves to be two faced jealous girlies. Lala should be banned from planning parties. Katie and Schwartz play tonsil hockey with the same nanny. Sandoval takes paintball way too seriously. Ariana and Katie stay winning. Jo finally gets some self respect. Follow on the socials @fluentinbravo Rate and Review email: fluentinbravo@gmail.com

The Valley is giving off old VPR vibes. Pronouncing Capri is keeping me up at night. Michelle is livid about Kristen spreading a rumor. Zack is livid about Kristen telling everyone he told him the rumor. Jasmine is livid about Kristen telling that Jasmine told Zack the rumor. Janet is livid about Kristen saying that Zack told her the rumor because Jasmine told him. The rumor...that Janet said that...

Ann wants to jump ship from one dirty undies wearer to a slob kabob. I pitch being Sandoval's assistant. Scheana and Brock and Schwartz have decided any camera time on VPR is going to be dedicated to auditioning for The Valley. Lala owes James $150 for pizza. Ariana uses the F word until it loses meaning. The gang can't agree who really tried to kill Mya. Beach Day was a nightmare. Don't forget to...

I always forget how this era of Reality TV was like the wild west. Everything goes. This episode provides us with our first ever truly iconic housewives moment and it involves a family van. Lauri gets engaged for money and it has absolutely nothing to do with how loaded George is. Jo and Slade are on the same page about being on different pages. Uncle Richie and Slade in the same scene. My eyes! M...

Jax puts a lot of thought into his restaurant choice when he takes Kristen to lunch. Everyone is trying to make Nipplegate a thing. Luke wears his emotions on his face. Kristen and Alex play the ultimate he said/she said game. Brittany is on 1.5 speed as Jax's publicist. Janet's baby better bring the drama. Michelle and Jesse still can't stand each other. Follow on all socials @fluentinbravo. Subs...

The BEST episode of the season so far! We have the big reveal that Schwartz and Scheana made out. 55 people need to change their privacy settings. Ariana stays winning and Lala and Scheana stay jealous. Tom's guided meditation made me want a shower for my eyes, and Brock was very willing to get in the mess. We have Mya being rescued by Ariana once again, the best one liner of the year from James K...

Jo heads to the Playboy Mansion and Hugh Hefner files a restraining order against Slade. Sky Tops and bejeweled jeans make a splash in the OC. Jeana stays humble and there aren't enough guard dogs at the Keough's to protect them from Uncle Richie. Lauri may have skipped the math class on degrees but she sure knows how many commas her new boyfriend George has in his bank account. We meet our new ho...

I have a double header for you today as I recap both VPR and The Valley Premiere (starting around the 24 minute mark). I start off the episode with a health update that I'm thrilled to share! Sandoval dusts off his 20 year old pick up lines for girls that totally are not VPR fans and definitely have never heard of Scandoval. Scheana continues her Unhinged with Scheana Shay tour and throws John May...

4/5 of the Housewives reunite to discuss the show and how it has impacted their lives and their email inboxes. The reunion set is a nightmare for the sound guy. Before Andy there was a patio end table. The ladies all got a different message on what the dress code was. Lauri and Jo have a final showdown that amounts to...nothing. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a 5 star review. Follow on tik to...

VPR is back baby! If you have given up on this season it's time to jump back in because the mess has arrived. I am as unhinged as Scheana is in this recap so I apologize for talking at 1.5 speed and swearing like a sailor. Scheana is over Ariana and her breakup with Sandoval being all about Ariana. How dare she? Lala is Scheana's mouthpiece, Katie is speaking on behalf of Ariana and all Ally wants...