Fire the Canon

The patrons battled it out in honor of the upcoming Ides of March, and in the struggle between The Art of War and The Prince, let's just say The Art of War got Caesar'd. It's like getting Punk'd, but instead of meeting Ashton Kutcher you die and get a salad named after you. Win/win? Buckle up as the gang guides you through the world's second most practical guide on waging war and maintaining power...

In preparation for our upcoming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory miniseries, we got the gang together to learn about the absolutely absurd life of Roald Dahl.  Best-known for his children’s books, Dahl also wrote some very weird, pervy adult stories. Before he became a writer, he worked for an oil company in Africa (yes…… we know.), flew warplanes in World War 2, and committed extensive espionage...

Don’t say we never put our stellar reputations on the line for you! Joining us this week is our friend Jacob Waller (find him on YouTube as Big Yellow Praxis), who has recently fallen down the rabbit hole of a (potentially correct???) anti-Stratfordian theory (notably NOT a conspiracy theory). Jacob lays out the case for, conservatively, a HUGE AMOUNT of Shakespeare’s work being borrowed from or s...

Ahoy for the last time, me hearties! In this episode we cover Moby Dick from chapter 102 until the bitter, watery end.  Ishmael finally reveals why Captain Ahab is so obsessed with Moby Dick, we finally discover the fate of pretty much the entire crew of the Pequod, and Moby Dick finally deigns to grace the page. Jackie does her Bob Dylan impression against our will. Rachel solves a fabulous myste...

This week, we're sharing part 2 of Jackie and Bekah reading one-star reviews of their favorite books to each other. Jackie comes at Bekah with the harshest criticisms of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice available on Goodreads. To hear the full episode, join our Patreon! Patreon.com/firethecanon. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week, we're joined by a very special guest: Nikita! Jackie handpicked her to co-host this episode because Nikita is funny, despite not being a man. We read and discussed the fourth of Charles Dickens' five Christmas Books so you don't have to, and you can go ahead and thank us for that. Rachel's mom tells her she doesn't deserve any presents. Jackie discovers God is real. Nikita informs her h...

In the spirit of the holidays, which some call the holiday spirit, this week we're re-releasing an old favorite from 2021: Agatha Christie's "Hercule Poirot's Christmas". Rejoin the original gang for a hilarious journey through a Christmas mystery (Christery). If you're anything like Jackie, the mystery will seem as fresh and new as it did two years ago, because you'll totally have forgotten what...

Ahoy!  Welcome back to the podcast.  In this episode, we cover chapters 71-101 of Moby Dick, and we come away with less whale knowledge than we started. Ishmael and Queequeg are wedded (again), a whale gets killed, ominous doings are done, etc., etc. Jackie is wrongfully accused of a crime, and rightfully admits to a crime.  Rachel is wrongfully accused of being a frequent flier.  Bekah took out p...

We're back with another rousing look into the sleeping mind of Stephen, who really wants to know if you'd rather hold someone, or someone holds you, in bed, and there's another figure as well. Rachel wants to know if people like these episodes, so please tell us if you do, and say nothing if you don't. Join our Patreon to hear the full episode and other bonuses as well! www.patreon.com/firethecano...

Ahoy, y’all! We’re back and we’re covering chapters 46 through 70 of Moby Dick.  Sorry we were gone so long; Jackie was planning her annual Halloween party (that’s why we were gone, not Rachel’s wedding or bar exam study).  In this part, Ishmael tells us the only good thing about Tahiti, and the Pequod boys finally have an interaction with a whale (spoiler alert - we don’t like it). Jackie introdu...

Happy Monday! Are we late from last week, or early this week? Who knows. Look, we aren't JUST telling you what happens in chapters 26 through 45 of Moby Dick this week. We're also inviting you to a party that is DEFINITELY NOT A WEIRD SEX THING, explaining how to make bathtub crank, and telling you which apartments don't have glory holes in them. We thank you for your patience during the gap betwe...

We're back with the first episode of our series on the incomparable, the amazing, the VERY VERY LONG classic novel Moby Dick! Experience Herman Melville's classic boy-meets-whale tale as neither you nor anyone else has ever experienced it before.  Rachel finally has some technical difficulties. Bekah tries a new dental procedure she just learned about this morning. Jackie misunderstands a sermon. ...

Happy Thursday, everyone! This week we have a Patreon bonus preview for you all, in which Bekah and Jackie take turns reading each other one-star reviews of each other's favorite books. This week, Bekah tries Jackie's patience with the words of some of the world's smartest book reviewers. We talk confusing feelings and even more confused grammar by various Goodreads users on The Fellowship of the...

This week we bring you another of Jackie's favorite type of episode: author bios! Even more exciting, we have a MAN joining us, so you can rest assured that this episode will contain about 33% less crying than usual. Even MORE exciting, that man is British, so you KNOW there's absolutely no chance things are going to get overly emotional. Which is good, because our author this week is... really, r...

Happy Thursday! This week Rachel, Jackie, and Bekah wrap up Pride Month with a bang. The gang keeps it lesbian and discuss the life and times (what little is known about them) of Sappho, the Ancient Greek "Poetess" whose works have survived for nearly 2500 years and are still being discovered and discussed. She was also probably at least somewhat if not very gay! Rachel hates Bekah's cats. Bekah c...

Hi, lovely patrons! As our thank you for your support this month, we bring you the action-packed, hijinks-filled tale of Theo's role-playing game with Chat GPT as the Dungeon Master. Will Theo prevail in his goal of defeating a ridiculous monster with a ridiculous weapon of his own choice? Listen and find out, maybe! The first 5 or so minutes are free for everyone - and they're mighty good, as we...

The original gang is back!  Why?  Because Theo needs advice.  Not just any advice - the oldest advice in the world.  That’s right - this week we’re discussing The Wisdom of Ptah-Hotep, a “book” of “advice” from Ptah-Hotep, vizier of Pharaoh Isesi, the last ruler of the Fifth Dynasty of Egypt.  Theo has a suggestion for how we can avoid fixing the healthcare system.  Jackie Kermits against her will...

This week, we're coming at you with another FANTASTIC author interview, this time with the brilliant and wonderfully unusual Frances Hardinge, the award-winning author of "A Face Like Glass", "Cuckoo Song", "The Lie Tree", "Deeplight", and, most recently, "Unraveller". Her books are, to use her own words, "fairly dark and invariably strange". A children's and YA maven whose works are both thematic...

We wrap up the second half of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, and things actually get pretty real! Jackie isn't cut out for monogamy. Bekah schools an alien race on ableism. Rachel wants to normalize pooping in the dark with an electric guitar. So it goes! CONTENT WARNINGS: Sexual language, violence, trauma/PTSD, racism, sexism ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Theo is back, baby! The OG Goosebuddies bring you another spook-tactic Bump Patrol episode. This is a mega long free preview, because the full episode is somehow mega long! What can we say, we love these weird lil tales. And this is the best one yet, IOHO (in our humble opinions). The full episode for Patrons will be out Friday, 4/21, due to aforementioned mega longness. In the meantime, enjoy the...

In this episode, your intrepid hosts cover the first half of Kurt Vonnegut's highly autobiographical masterpiece, Slaughterhouse-Five. If you didn't catch his bio episode (#112), we highly recommend taking a listen! Accurately described by Rachel as both an upper and a downer at the same time, SH5 is a wild ride that spans multiple decades, countries, and planets, all with the hapless and more or...

In preparation for our Slaughterhouse-Five episodes in April, this week we're covering the life of its author, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.! Never heard of him? Neither has Bekah! But sure enough, we'll all learn a little bit together, with Jackie leading us through the biography of one of her favorite authors. Kurt Von D, as no one ever called him until just this very instant, lived a life defined by extrem...

To borrow the parlance of a wise, wise man, today marks our eleventy-first episode! And what better way to celebrate than by listening to four millennials reminisce on the teen masterpiece She's the Man starring Amanda Bynes and Channing "Chiseled" Tatum? 3 out of 4 hosts agree: this is the greatest movie of all time. One host apparently does not understand comedy, but becomes more adept at recogn...

Jackie and Rachel interview Gerardo Sámano Córdova, whose debut novel 'Monstrilio' was released on March 7, 2023. 'Monstrilio' is, per the LA Times book review, "an unearthly hybrid that’s part horror, part literary meditation on grief, part wildly entertaining tale." And, well, they were right! But it's also about so much more - a love story, an LGBT coming-of-age story, and an unsolvable philoso...

Welcome back!  In typical Shakespearean comedy fashion, when last we left our characters, everyone was in love with the wrong person and/or pretending to be someone they’re not.  Will Viola, Orsino, Olivia, and Sebastian ever figure this mess out?!  Spoiler alert: yes.  Join us as your hosts get a li’l wacky with it.  Rachel doesn’t suffer fools.  Jackie finally comes to understand the true meanin...