Fire the Canon

This week, in honor of (belated) National Poetry Month, we present to you the adorable and magnificent life of Jackie's favorite dead poet, Jack Gilbert, who beat out at least three other poets for this honor due to being Not Boring or Racist. Rachel has an important announcement you will wait a long time for. Bekah's favorite poet is Howard Stern. Jackie edits a Wikipedia page repeatedly and then...

This week we have a Patreon bonus for you (a few days late, or several days early, depending on how you're experiencing time). This is a free preview - for the full episode, and all our previous bonus episodes and other perks, join our Patreon at patreon.com/firethecanon!  ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Greetings, loyal listeners! In this episode, we mention nary a book at all until like the last 10 seconds! Instead, we explain What Happened during our many-month break from the podcast, beginning with a sudden and unexpected Big Life Event for Jackie, continuing with some real crazy hijinks involving a man rolling around in the snow, a mysterious bag of spiders, and some feral cats living in the...

We’re back! We missed you! Just in time for summer of 2026, which we planned from the very beginning. (We actually recorded this podcast before our unexpected break, so come back next episode for the explanation. There is one, and it's valid, we think.)  In this episode, we talk about the J.D. Salinger short story A Perfect Day for Bananafish. We previously talked about his book The Catcher in the...

Welcome to our spooooooky Halloween bonus episode that we put out at the exact right time! One could also think of it as being right on time, because as Host Jackie likes to say, it's spooky season until Thanksgiving, and then it is Christmas. We hope you enjoy the visual gag we smartly included in this audio-only podcast. :) In this episode we discuss Goosebumps 5, The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb b...

Welcome to Season 7! We're kicking things off with an author bio of the one and only JD Salinger, a man of few words and fewer balls.  Rachel has a healthy 6-month old Book. Bekah is a newly engaged, newly minted doctor. Jackie has a brand new computer that, it turns out, is sadly awful at audio processing but is soon to be replaced. Nikita is on vacation and Jackie definitely doesn't hate her. To...

Wow, you thought we were dead! No, we were just taking a prolonged nap... in the dirt... in a cemetery... look, things got a little rocky in the lives of your hosts for a while, but fear not, we are back and renewed and ready to go. We were just building anticipation, you know?  Rachel's baby is in a sort of Schödinger's box situation - she exists (now now) and doesn't exist (now at the time of re...

Welcome back for part 2 of the amazing Frankenstein, or: a pale nerd who sucks, has sucked, and will continue to suck. In this penultimate part of the series, we hear the story of The Creature's early life and the family he watched do literally everything for like two years without them knowing.  Bekah has to exorcise her cat. Rachel doesn't know the difference between colonoscopies and prostate e...

Amidst a long, dark winter, which only now may be loosening its icy grip, we emerge from the shadows to bring you part 1 of 3 of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's 'Frankenstein, or: The Modern Prometheus'. We meet Victor, his family (only one of whom does he have romantic inclinations toward - can we say woke king?), and his best friend, the Clerv. Join us to learn just what can go wrong when you spen...

It's finally here! As you may know, our King, Queen, and Nonbinary Royalty Patrons reserve the right to force us to read and review any book at all, except for Of Mice and Men, which Rachel has vetoed because it is too sad.  Queen Patron Cara requested, nay, demanded, we read the erotic fantasy novella Corn Daddy, by Helena Woodcock. And it was... surprisingly a good time. And not at all surprisin...

As autumn turns to winter, we turn at last to that classic wintry tale: Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley. You may recall a little bit about her life story from our Percy Shelley episode, but this one is all about her! Join us as we learn about this weird little freaky genius lady, and go on a journey through the life of the woman who gave us perhaps the best known horror book of all time. Nikita is t...

At long last, follow your fearless crew down into the depths of our nitre-covered bone dungeon for a taste of something delightful! The Cask of Amontillado is one of ol' EAP's most famous short stories, and boy does it have something for everyone.  Rachel attempts to lure Jackie to her doom using rare Kermits. Bekah can't imagine having beef with Fortunato, who is a silly little guy we all love. J...

We're back with the second half of our over-the-top bio of EAP! Listen in for the story of Edgar's adulthood, complete with choleric escapades, omens from outer space, a cringeworthy misplaced accusation of plagiarism, a new love (now 100% child-free!) and a mysterious death followed by a funeral shorter than the song "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy Elliott. Rachel threatens to share a deadly Dorito. B...

Grab your raven, tuck your buddy’s heart under a floorboard, pour yourself a glass of Amontillado, and join us as we talk about the first half-ish of the life of Edgar Allan Poe, a man who didn’t ask to be born. It’s time to start warming up for spooky season 2025, and what better way than learning about one of America’s original Goths?  Jackie goes overboard again, Bekah mixes up professions with...

(Happy Thursday! That’s right, it’s Thursday. Don’t check.) Wow! A podcast! That’s the feeling you should get from this episode. Y’all… those crazy Athenian kids are still stuck in the dang woods.  Will Puck, Oberon, and Titania continue messing with the humans and each other? Will Bottom regain his human form? Will the love triangles ever get resolved?! Knowing Shakespeare, the answer is yes, but...

We’re back, with Shakespeare’s comedy classic, A Midsummer Night’s Dream! Basically, four young Athenians with romance problems wander into the woods and get messed with by a bunch of fairies - you know the drill. It’s a good time, you’ll love it. (Fun fact: Jackie once acted in this play! Ten imaginary points if you guess as which character.) Jackie pulls a classic “Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka”; R...

This is a preview for our special Patreon bonus in which Rachel, Bekah, and returning guest Jess Owens (@saidbyjess) get together and talk tropes, baby. Which ones win? Which ones lose? Which ones have you never ever heard of before and maybe wish you could forget? We've got the deets.  Join us on patreon.com/firethecanon to access full bonus episodes, get a shoutout, a sticker, and more! Also, fo...

Well, well, well! We're back after a long hiatus in the middle of a pretty short book due to vacations of various sorts. For example, Jackie took a vacation to Italy (listen for an amazing story of being a dumb American), AND a vacation from being healthy by immediately getting Covid upon her return! But now we're all healthy and thriving, and Mrs. Dalloway's FTC arc is complete. Like life itself,...

Please join us as we read the first half of Virginia Woolf’s modernist masterpiece, Mrs. Dalloway! Taking place on a single day in mid-June 1923, the book takes us in and out of the minds of our two main characters, society housewife Clarissa Dalloway (who is throwing a party), and World War One veteran Septimus Warren Smith (who is having some extremely concerning psychological issues), as well a...

Join us as we delve into the life of Virginia Woolf, a woman who was many things, chiefly among them a writer! Despite Jackie promising to make this the most depressing author bio episode of all time, Rachel and Bekah refuse to let it happen. There's a lot of laughter, but also some almost-tears, and some hard topics, but it's worth it. Rachel reveals the third, heretofore unknown Charlie and the...

Stop! We see your eyeballs getting ready to dart away to something more fun. Dart 'em back here. This is the most fun you'll have hearing about race and racism since... ever, maybe! We know the bar is low, but still. Listen along to the original opening to our first Charlie and the Chocolate Factory episode, which immediately derailed into racial topics thanks to Ol' Roodle Doodle's antics, and th...

The gang finishes out the tale of ol' C-Bucks and the maniacal chocolate man in spectacular fashion - late, but not that late! Thanks for the endless patience of our many adoring fans. We would never turn you into marshmallows, even if that tube DID go to the marshmallow room. Jackie fucks up her audio, but doesn't know it yet (don't worry, she fixes it in post). Rachel flexes secret first-edition...

Quick! What has 14 legs, one bed, and half a potato? Why, the Bucket family, of course!  Join the gang as we cover the first half of Roodle Doodle's classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You all know how the story goes, but you haven't heard it told by us. Rachel doxxes herself. Bekah learns about the Wonka-related scandal of the year. Jackie has never even once thought about smothering gran...

She's back! University of Chicago professor, historian, and award-winning novelist Ada Palmer joins Rachel and Jackie for a conversation about the life and times of Niccolo Machiavelli, a fascinating guy who lived through fascinating times. Learn all about how his name gets an undeservedly bad rap, the trials and tribulations that led to the writing of The Prince, and why the Renaissance was a ter...

Happy March, everyone! For our Patreon bonus, we thought we'd try something new: The Reading Corner! Jackie and Rachel have a friendly chit chat about whatever books we're currently reading. Maybe it will become a recurring feature? It all depends on what you like, and what Jackie likes. It doesn't matter at all what Rachel likes.  For the full episode and all our other bonuses, go to patreon.com/...