"Fine" Dining

They changed the bread and killed our childhood! The boys color on the table at this week's pick: Romano's Macaroni Grill Garrett wants to bottle up Michael's spaghetti grease to eat later The bathroom signs are confusing Phil Romano has some crazy ideas for an Asian cuisine restaurant A pushy waiter demands to know why a nearby table is celebrating Garrett must become next week's restaurant, lite...

It's Turbo Time! Steve Moulton (I Think You Should Leave, Young Rock, Sharknado) joins the boys in going to LAX, one of the busiest airports in the world, to dine at a pre-security Planet Hollywood Garrett orders the worst steak we've ever seen Planet Hollywood has no Hollywood decor?! The Floor Wing RETURNS!! And he's kidnapped (pineapplenapped?) Juicy Jr. Girthy paper straws are WAY TOO MUCH Ste...

No service? No problem! The boys make a casual dining exception for Cinnabon Michael sues Garrett in Food Court (the honorable  Judge Jessa Day presiding) to block him from ordering Cinnabon desserts outside of Cinnabon Nightmare Jimmy Buffett/dubstep hybrid music permeates the boys' ears as they scarf down their Cinnabon at an abandoned Margaritaville patio table A seemingly unconscious man on hi...

Applebee's scores a 5.00 from one of the boys Michael tells about the time he chauffeured Ron Jeremy Alan Tudyk tags in as Steven's voice for this week's Cheese Review The presence of a Cinnabon-licensed dessert reignites an old debate Brisa reviews Applebee's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB wants to make the skimmest milk ever We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode,...

The boys are joined by comedian  Casey Adler at Red Lobster The origins of Darden start at Red Lobster Casey recites a monologue on Red Lobster's stage Ollie reviews the Red Lobster kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Garrett roams around the restaurant eating at different tables thanks to the You-Must Bowl JUB solves the lack of beverages named after Asians We're now on  Patreon ! Get...

It takes 2 hours for Michael & Garrett to finally get food in front of them A child pyromaniac in this week's "What's Going On Over There?" segment The least charismatic hibachi chef ever Michael & Garrett debate the merits of a restaurant having a minimum and maximum possible score before even walking in Wallace reviews Benihana's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB puts your custo...

Lucille's history provides some racial turmoil The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a "Bride-to-Be" sash and tiara The boys enlist some Yelp from Strangers as the boys read their favorite 1 & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Lucille's they visited Garrett speculates that Lucille's is growing its future workforce in back Greta reviews Lucille's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB ha...

Michael & Garrett get big casino hotel vibes from The Cheesecake Factory The Factory Apocalypse reanimates Cheesecake zombies Colin Mochrie from Whose Line Is It Anyway? voices cheese correspondent Steven's review of the Stuffed Cheddar Burger NEW SEGMENT: Yelp from Strangers, as the boys read their favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Cheesecake Factory they visited Nikki recounts...

Michael & Garrett look back at 20 (+1) restaurant visits and analyze if their scores look correct on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity JUB will help you fill your life with regrets Garrett comes clean about DMing with Gatti's Pizza A full rankings recap at the end We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garde...

Michael & Garrett go all the way to south San Francisco just to eat at Chevys Fresh Mex Y'all ready for shits? CheeseGate sets Michael and Garrett off as their server cheeselights them The boys passionately debate the merits of Performance Enhancing Dessert-toppers Pierce reviews the Chevys kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB sells you the Art of Denial We're now on Patreon ! Get a...

It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) to watch this episode in all its true glory! The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael'...

The boys bring Michael's second cousin (once removed) Emma to Chuck E. Cheese and she makes them feel elderly Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" and the "Predators I've Caught" podcast reviews Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita A passion for celery makes way for a Training Day- style Denzel monologue Brand new song "The Patreon Shuffle" is born Emma...

The boys feel sluggish and greasy as their Cheddar's meal obliterated their bodies Tommy Chong from "Cheech & Chong" reviews Cheddar's cheese fries on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Garrett's You-Must Bowl punishment - where he can only speak to the wait staff in rhyme - tanks our service Michael's dad also tanks our service experience Bathe yourself in the new perfume scent Mediocri...

The boys get f***ing AMPED about their first cafeteria Pumbaa from "The Lion King" reviews Luby's mac & cheese on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Michael & Garrett get to the bottom of why Luby's gave up on offering kids menus Michael wears a cone of shame Luby's nursing home feel scores a sponsorship from Old Old Ooooold SO OLD Navy JUB rallies against Goldblumers Additional voices:...

It's A Tale of Two Gatti's with the depressing dichotomy between buffet and arcade Michael & Garrett's air hockey game spills out to the entire arcade Garrett gets a huge wad of gum on his shoe Gray chocolate pudding and translucent fruits are a bad sign that this buffet will suck Michael tries desperately to win a blu-ray copy of Croods 2: A New Age and some full-size candy bars JUB will help you...

Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food Elvis lives at Chuy's 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha!   Get our 5 Survival T...

The fanciest restaurant yet surprises Michael & Garrett Three diary entries from His Majesty, the Alaskan King Crab A busser tries to steal a swimming pool JUB will teach you manners! 11 year-old Willa is too cool for the Pappadeaux kids menu Our waiter spills scalding hot butter on Garrett's hand   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Pappadeaux s...

Michael & Garrett survive Waffle House on Halloween weekend at midnight Vape Man: Coming to a store near you this holiday season! Cheese Correspondent Steven has special guest Jerry Springer read his review of the Covered Hash Browns Former Waffle House employee Kendyll tells us just what happens at 3am at a Waffle House A Waffle House proposal lasts less than 24 hours JUB wants to repurpose your...

Michael & Garrett annoint their friend Steven as their Cheese Correspondent Steven's jaw isn't working so Joel McHale reads Steven's review for him (around the 47 minute mark) More You-Must Bowl shenanigans ensued as Michael recruits his mom to make a painting of Bob's Big Boy Michael's mom tells her side of the story when Michael was pulled over by Officer Hot Dog (hear the original story in epis...

It's double date night at Rainforest Cafe Garrett inflates a gigantic pool toy at the table because of his You Must Bowl punishment Across the Sky  podcast host Matt Holiner drops in to give a weather forecast for the Rainforest...Cafe Michael gives $100 to a balloon animal maker JUB has his own special ways of keeping the animatronics in check 6 year-old Austin tells his favorite joke on the Rain...

It's Michael's 34th birthday dinner with almost a dozen friends! Michael & Garrett speculate why the bathroom is deafening Garrett sides with the waiter as a Dungeons & Dragons battle breaks out in the restaurant JUB will annoy your friends to ensure they're on time to their appointments 10 year-old Luke was snubbed by Gyu-Kaku in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go in-d...

Michael & Garrett are immensely disappointed by the churro stand next to Bubba Gump Michael tells the story of getting pulled over in Alabama "for having California license plates" Forrest Gump narrates the boys' adventure JUB makes souvenir pennies 7 year-old Nora "hates the man on the bench" in another adorable Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go HAM on Forrest Gump trivia   Get o...

WELCOME TO OUR MUSICAL EPISODE! You're reading that correctly! Michael & Garrett review Olive Garden The boys think they can top Olive Garden's in-house soundtrack by creating one of their own! JUB gets a real job What's going on with there being SO MANY BIRTHDAYS at Olive Garden?? Former Olive Garden employee Trever Jones recounts meeting the love of his love on the job 3 year-old Yaretzi gives u...

Michael & Garrett drive an hour away to review a Pizza Hut that still has a dine-in option The boys break their own rules because they were lied to by Yelp Why is Pizza Hut a magnet for cars crashing into them?? The boys discuss Pizza Hut's marketing plan from the '90s to laser their logo onto the surface of the moon Garrett gives a eulogy Michael & Garrett fight over whether or not this dessert i...

Michael & Garrett review Denny's (at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night) The Wild West of late night dining: college students and homeless people galore "What's Going on over There?" is the theme of the night as there are so many unanswerable mysteries from this wild night, but the boys do their best to solve them The restaurant erupts with applause for a blindfolded Garrett after he finally get...