Find Your Voice, Change Your Life

Today, I interview Erin Bogdan who grew up believing she truly did have the perfect family, with an easy childhood and parents who loved her. Now she says she's realized it was a dynamic of "emotional codependent dysfunctionality".  There were issues with addiction on her mother's side of the family, and there was a lack of emotional connection on her father's side. Growin...

Today, I interview Mitra Manesh, the youngest of three children who grew up in Iran. Mitra learned to fend for herself and figure out her own way. She was intelligent and well-behaved, never getting into trouble and becoming a source of comfort and stability in the room. These things earned her the nickname, "the wise child" from a very young age. But was this a good thing or not? Mitra...

Today, I interview Dr. John Gray. In John's family there were lots of siblings, and there was lots of love. However, his mother clearly had a sweet spot for John and favored him a little. In turn, his siblings expressed their jealousy by picking on and torturing him. He learned to stay alert, but this meant he was always on edge and quite afraid.  John's fear wasn't really recognize...

Today, I interview Joey Chandler, a good friend for years. This story takes place in the middle of a transformative phase in his more current journey, rather than walking back through his childhood. Joey went through a very rough period over the past couple years where he was struggling with COVID, going through a separation, and dealing with shifts in his business. He was frustrated and feeling a...

Today, I interview Melissa Reilly whose life began in rural upstate New York with her parents and two sisters. Then one of her sisters became severely ill, and she and the other sister were often dropped off with anyone who could take them, so that their parents could take their ill sister for treatments. Melissa was shy with new people and began keeping her voice to herself, learning to observe p...

Today, I interview Ann Hince whose story certainly has a unique beginning. She was adopted as a newborn into a family who had just had to give up a foster daughter, so in some ways she started her life by filling in another one's shoes.  There was a lot of moving and traveling when Ann was a child, and somehow her birth mother kept track of her location all along. Ann experienced some traumat...

Today, I interview Paul Hood who describes his childhood household as "quiet, non-controversial, and easy". Maintaining privacy and avoiding conflict were the M.O. His father was a CPA and introduced him to a colleague who was both a CPA and a lawyer, and at age ten Paul decided that this was the combination he would strive for. He graduated with a master's in tax law and was mentor...

Today, I interview Lesley Evans who as the youngest of three children and the only girl, received plenty of attention as a child. Her voice didn't begin to fade until her teenage years. Her parents divorced and she focused on comforting her mother, and from there she naturally fell into a caretaker role, giving her friends advice and being the supporter for anyone who needed it.  As a young a...

Today, I interview Doug Brown who was raised by two very hardworking parents. He was encouraged to persevere and accomplish as much as he could, but that put a lot of emphasis on performance and left less time for self-reflection. There wasn't much room for slowing down to connect.  He says that throughout his various experiences and occupations, he's never had a fear of the microphone....

Today, I interview Peleg Top who was bullied as a child growing up in Israel. He knew who he was, and he had things to say, but he felt that no one wanted to hear them.  As a gay young child he was teased and felt that he never fit in.  Eventually he began to believe those lies and would later require some inner work to rediscover his love for himself. Throughout his teenage years, the bullying co...

Today, I interview Ray Bourcier who was five when he experienced the beginnings of what would become a major conflict within his family. Aunts and uncles in disagreement with his own parents led to a complete falling out by the time he'd reached age eight. Ray was excluded from activities with his cousins based on the adults disliking each other, and so began the inner turmoil and lack of sel...

Today, I interview Carl Ficks who grew up in a household where writing took precedence over speaking. His father held various positions where writing was a key role, and Carl learned to develop the habit of writing well and listening well.  His parents communicated calmly and clearly without the need for shouting or excessive emphasis, and Carl learned to follow this model and attitude. His carria...

Today, I interview Cedric Crumbley who grew up in Georgia. When he was an infant, his father passed away. So unfortunately, he didn't get to know his Dad. However, his father's siblings saw so much of his father in Cedric that they truly treasured him. He was certainly given a lot of attention and had great connection with the adults in his family. He was even teased a little in school b...

Today, I interview Michael Rost, whose young life included the emphasis on "comparative suffering." He tells us that to his father complaining was unwelcomed and was overshadowed by the reminder that others had it far worse.  So his young mind learned not to open up to others. Well, when you don't speak much, you're able to become quite the listener.  Michael took it to another...

Today, I interview Donna Tashjian who suffered loss and abuse at an early age.  She was forced to grow up fast and put aside what happened, focusing on adulthood without a true sense of her own identity. She hadn't been able to deal with her trauma, so her confidence was deeply hurt and she was very afraid of using her voice and making true connections with people.  She struggled with the chi...

Today, I interview Dr.  Pelè  who grew up during civil wartime in Nigeria. He and his family were refugees, fearing for their safety with every step, never sure of their next meal. In order to comfort her children, his mother would sing and tell stories. Dr. Pelè says this diversion created a change in his mindset as a child.  Our youngest childhood years are the most formative, and while childhoo...

Today, I interview Dr. Denny Coates, who was a very driven child, always striving to be a high achiever and to be the best among his peers. Much later in life he became a compelling speaker, and this was only after he faced a reality that he did not know how to engage his listeners. His years of hard work opened the door to West Point, and he found himself with a prestigious military career, where...

Today, I interview Lori Saitz, who says she was a timid child in public situations, hesitant to speak up in school. On the other hand, when she was at home, she was bold and outspoken.  In class, she didn't have the courage to speak up or volunteer for fear of making a mistake. The expectations and competition in this setting were different from the comforts of home, where she was the firstbo...

Today, I interview Chris Weals who grew up with two older brothers who did very well academically. Chris, however, wasn't as interested in studying; instead, he excelled at making friends and even took on a sort of leadership role in some groups. Things began to catch up to him when he felt left out and pressured because he didn't show as much drive for academia as other people.  He slow...

Today, I interview Billy Atwell, a friend and colleague for many years.  He has his own podcast, Unshakable Self-Confidence, and during its first season, he interviewed me. Billy is special to me because he's had a front-row seat in seeing me develop past my own fear and into the confidence that I get to share with you today!  So now I'm thrilled to swap roles and explore Billy's pe...

Today, I interview E.A. Csolkovits who when he was very young, helped his father with deliveries as a milkman. As they made their rounds, he would observe all different types and classes of people, and he was drawn to those who appeared to be happy and successful, "living the dream".  Even as a very young child, E.A. felt a deep, instinctive pull to figure out how these people lived live...

Today, I interview Susan Birch who grew up in a small village in New Zealand. She was the oldest of four children. The family kept busy and worked hard, and her siblings eventually found their callings and settled into successful career pursuits. Susan, however, felt a bit delayed because she often struggled with language.  Finding the right words, conveying the right message, and keeping her mout...

Today, I interview Peter George who as a young child had a speech impediment. Because of this, he learned to stay quiet and kept his circle fairly small. He was shy and rarely spoke up in class. But he decided he could become very proficient in all kinds of sports, as the athletic kids rarely get picked on. But that was okay with him at the time, because he really enjoyed sports anyway.  Then, he...

Today, I interview Eric Brotman who was very entertaining in childhood. He loved doing standup comedy or singing, always mimicking his favorite stars. He enjoyed putting on a show for his friends and family, goofy and carefree. But he never actually used his own voice or his own style when he did these things.  In school, he fit in everywhere and was friends with everyone, now referring to his you...

Today, I interview Joe Perrone who remembers growing up in Connecticut and being a secure child. He was in a home-school environment where he had to build his own network of friends. Later, in a public school setting, he was thrust among many other kids his age who had spent their lives learning in a completely different environment.  Joe had to learn to fit into this new rhythm. He observed diffe...