Find Your Voice, Change Your Life

Today, I interview Melahni Ake who was born in Florida, but shortly afterwards her family moved to their hometown of Indianapolis where her  grandparents had established a thriving church ministry. When her father suffered a sudden illness the family went back to Florida for his treatment, but he died quickly and they then returned to Indiana. Through all of these moves, Melahni had to learn to ad...

Today I interview Leanne Dorish, who says that people have always paid attention to her because of her height. She learned very early on that people were always watching. When she spoke, her stature sometimes led to people seeing her voice as too strong. She pulled back a bit and became a skilled listener.  She was teased consistently for one thing or another. Leanne even recalls being teased by f...

Today, I interview Linda Bello-Ruiz who grew up in Redwood Valley, California, in a family of six children. Linda was blessed with great parents, but with a crowded household, she wanted to find her own way to stand out. She craved attention, so she often used her height and bright red hair to turn heads. Her experience with her siblings also gave her a boost in maturity, and she soon became a com...

Today, I interview Michaelene Cristini Risley who grew up in the midwest in an Italian Catholic family. From the start, she tells us that the pedestal men are put on in this culture makes women a little more hesitant to speak in their power. That, coupled with the typical idea that men leave the house but women must be married off, made Michealene want to rebel and live in her own way from a young...

Today, I interview Lesley Nase who is the middle child of five children. Due to a large port wine birthmark across her face, her shyness would sometimes come forward. She remembers once being timid about walking past some kids, in fear of the stares. Her sweet and encouraging mother reminded her that her smile was the most important thing anyone could see.  In Lesley's home, everyone was acce...

Today, I interview Chris Salem who remembers being disappointed and hurt by his father. His dad wasn't around much and didn't give him the encouragement and praise he so longed for, and this lack of support dug a deep hole in Chris's heart.  Chris says his mother was great. She was always there, always supportive, and did her best to fill in the gaps where his father was lacking. Ho...

Today, I interview Kamala Murphey whose family was a fairly rigid system. Her father – who had at one point studied to become a priest but in the end, did not – was a strict perfectionist. He and his doting wife had high expectations of their two daughters, thrilled with the acclaim they saw on report cards. Kamala uses the phrase "compliant children", which paints a saddening image. She...

Today, I interview Candy Motzek who was born and raised in Vancouver, Canada. Her father is black and her mother is white, and in those early times, many people didn't understand interracial couples and didn't always react well. Some were unkind. Candy says she felt like an "oddity".  Already a quiet child, her quietness grew as she stayed in the background, carefully watching...

Today, I interview Michael Whitehouse who grew up in Massachusetts and found himself in an interesting family dynamic. His parents divorced when he was seven, so he split his time among 4 homes: his mother's, his father's, his mother's parents', and his father's parents'. Many people thought it to be an unstable situation for him, but Michael says he always loved it. ...

Today, I interview Dr. Gary Wohlman, a powerful teacher who is important to me because he was one of my first coaches! I had a transformative experience with him and I am so honored and proud to share him with you all today.  Gary was born in New York City to Russian Jewish parents. They were hardworking pillars of the community. Gary was always very physically active and expressive, always moving...

Today, I interview Michelle Prince who grew up in Chicago in a strong, faith-based family. Her parents were from big Catholic families, so she and her brother had deep Catholic roots during their upbringing. It was a safe and happy home, but there were strict rules and high expectations.  Her mother had grown up in a home where perfection was expected, so Michelle often got a sense of those same e...

Today, I interview Jean Kathryn Carlson who grew up in a religious family and felt invisible for much of her childhood. The goal was to be perfect and keep the peace in order to secure her place in heaven. She never felt enabled to be herself, to open up, or to color outside the lines.  She felt so much pressure to get things right, she was always too afraid to connect with people or truly have fu...

Today, I interview Shawn Langwell who grew up in California in a loving family with two brothers. His father was a fireman, and Shawn looked up to him as his hero. However, when Shawn was 12, his father left the family to start a new family. This crushed Shawn, of course. He missed his father's presence and affection, and he didn't know how to cope.  Unfortunately, he went from class val...

Today, I interview Mary Simon, who at age 11 was in Austria with her Mother and older sister. Her Austrian mother had spent many years in America but returned to Austria after divorcing their father. The country had drastically changed, and she was unable to re-assimilate or fit in anywhere.  Destitute, the girls and their mother went to the US Embassy on Friday and were to be returned to America...

Today, I interview Judy Baker, whose parents were both very introverted, and Judy was the youngest child. She didn't really understand that people could be bubbly and friendly, and she was afraid of strangers and meeting new people. She was shy and spoke with such a tiny voice that many people at school couldn't hear her.  Her parents didn't really have many friends or much of a soc...

Today, I interview Vasavi Kumar who grew up in a first generation Indian immigrant family. At home, she says she felt too Americanized. But at school, she felt too Indian, because she attended a predominantly white school. She never felt like she fit in anywhere, so she just learned to do and say all the right things to keep the peace.  Her home was a safe place, and her needs were met. Her parent...

  Today, I interview Clarissa Burt who tells us that her childhood was stressful and not very much fun. There was a lot of yelling, arguing, alcohol, and violence. Her father switched back and forth between Jekyll and Hyde, going from fun and kind to full of rage. Clarissa was the oldest child, and she spent much of her time trying to keep the peace, look after her abused mother, and check each be...

Today, I interview Anna Ditchburn who grew up in Russia. Her father left when she was 4, abandoning their family to be with another woman. Anna was so young, she didn't quite understand what was going on. She never processed her own feelings about it, but instead focused on her heartbroken mother and helped to keep up appearances, never revealing what was happening behind closed doors.  She h...

Today, I interview Laurie Seymour whose father was her best friend. Growing up with three brothers, she confided in her father and he was her sounding board and source of encouragement. When he died she was still quite young, and her mother was forced to pick up the pieces, struggling with overwhelming new emotional and financial stresses.  Laurie was often left out of the equation. She just didn&...

Today, I interview Ruth Stitt. Growing up in Connecticut, Ruth notes that she was one of the fortunate ones. Her parents encouraged her and her siblings to explore the world and learn as much as possible. There was lots of travel, education, and trying new things. She was the youngest of three siblings, and the older two grew further and further away from her during school years.  Because of this...

Today, I interview Erin Bogdan who grew up believing she truly did have the perfect family, with an easy childhood and parents who loved her. Now she says she's realized it was a dynamic of "emotional codependent dysfunctionality".  There were issues with addiction on her mother's side of the family, and there was a lack of emotional connection on her father's side. Growin...

Today, I interview Mitra Manesh, the youngest of three children who grew up in Iran. Mitra learned to fend for herself and figure out her own way. She was intelligent and well-behaved, never getting into trouble and becoming a source of comfort and stability in the room. These things earned her the nickname, "the wise child" from a very young age. But was this a good thing or not? Mitra...

Today, I interview Dr. John Gray. In John's family there were lots of siblings, and there was lots of love. However, his mother clearly had a sweet spot for John and favored him a little. In turn, his siblings expressed their jealousy by picking on and torturing him. He learned to stay alert, but this meant he was always on edge and quite afraid.  John's fear wasn't really recognize...

Today, I interview Joey Chandler, a good friend for years. This story takes place in the middle of a transformative phase in his more current journey, rather than walking back through his childhood. Joey went through a very rough period over the past couple years where he was struggling with COVID, going through a separation, and dealing with shifts in his business. He was frustrated and feeling a...

Today, I interview Melissa Reilly whose life began in rural upstate New York with her parents and two sisters. Then one of her sisters became severely ill, and she and the other sister were often dropped off with anyone who could take them, so that their parents could take their ill sister for treatments. Melissa was shy with new people and began keeping her voice to herself, learning to observe p...