Feminist Wellness

#263: We can’t end this month of love without touching on one of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves: platonic love. This week, I’m introducing you to several of my closest friends –  Suneye, Jules, and Juana – and we're exploring why our friendships are the perfect playground to practice healthy relating.  Join us as we discuss why you should consider who you’re keeping in your cir...

#262: My guest this week has a story that is truly emblematic of what’s possible when you choose you. Like so many people in helping professions, Lashonda Payne was noticing some emotional outsourcing patterns in her life until she decided she needed support. By joining our Anchored community, almost-doctor Lashonda showed herself the power of self-love and unconditional care, and she’s offering t...

#261: I have the most special treat for you this week! I am finally and with so much pride introducing you to my wife, Billey Albina. There is so much in how Billey and I interact that demonstrates the full embodiment of living in interdependence, and I know that sharing about our relationship will be helpful for all of you who want to free yourselves from co-dependency and people-pleasing. Tune i...

#260: For many of us folks raised as women with people-pleasing tendencies, receiving compliments can feel like danger in the body. Even when the person’s intention is good, it can still leave us feeling exposed and uncomfortable. To discuss why this happens and what we can do about it, I’m joined by my friend, Master-Certified Sex and Pleasure Coach Danielle Savory.  Danielle and I discuss w...

#258: How often do you catch yourself acting selflessly in an attempt to feel valued? You're not alone. Lots of us build our identity around the ways we're needed by others, sometimes without realizing it. Unfortunately, while feeling needed can temporarily satisfy a longing for connection or validation, this dependency creates a cycle of negativity that stands between us and true interdependence....

#257: Do you find yourself feeling confused or frustrated in situations that demand an emotional response? How did it come to be this way, and what can we do to reconnect with our feelings?  Avoidance of emotions in adulthood tends to overlap with an upbringing in which a "sweep-it-under-the-rug" philosophy was modeled, and this emotional silence leaves a profound and long-lasting imprint on...

#256: I’ve had the honor of being a regular contributor to the Honeydew Me Podcast, hosted by Emma Norman and Cass Anderson. I was recently on the show to dive deep into somatics, sex, and feeling our feelings, and it was such a great conversation that I’m sharing that episode with you here. At Honeydew Me, Emma and Cass’s mission is to have conversations about mind-blowing orgasms, feeling confid...

#255: Our values offer us a sense of authenticity, which is critical for overcoming our emotional outsourcing habits. But embracing our values isn't just personal. It’s also a radical act of transformation in the face of systemic challenges like patriarchy and coloniality. So if embracing our values is so important, why do we often struggle to do it? Join me this week to learn why being guided by...

#254: Many of us engage in the ritual of New Year’s resolutions without really questioning it. It’s just what we do, right? But this tradition may not be as supportive of your overall wellness as you think. This week, I’m inviting you to consider how you’re using New Year’s resolutions, and whether you want to continue with this ritual. Join me as I tease apart the practice of New Year's resolutio...

#253: Whether you’re with your family of origin, your partner’s family, or your chosen family this holiday season, there’s one thing families are known for: pushing our buttons. To help you navigate the holidays with more peace and ease this year, I’m sharing one of my favorite tools for dealing with your beloved button-pushers, and it’s called Of Course They Did! If you often find yourself wishin...

#252: Lately on the podcast, we've been exploring the state of functional freeze – what it is, how it came to be, and how to shift out of it. If functional freeze has been your default for a while, you may notice some uncomfortable feelings crop up when you step out of it. That's why today I'll be helping you understand what happens internally once you emerge from functional freeze, and my top tip...

#251: Kara Loewentheil is the internationally-renowned host of the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast and author of the forthcoming book Take Back Your Brain. She helps women identify and disrupt the destructive narratives society has taught us to think about ourselves, and she’s here this week to dive into what it means to take back your brain. Join us on this episode as we dive into the thought work tool...

#250: Jaguar Mary X is a ritual performance artist and creator of Midday and Midnight Medicine Journey. Their transformative work is informed by queer and Black feminist discourse, plant sentience, and shamanism, and they’re here this week to offer their wisdom on the beauty of ritual.  After a life-shifting personal experience with mugwort, Jaguar Mary X has been sharing the plant’s healing...

#249: Turkey Day is upon us once again, which means food, weight, and diet talk is about to become rife. This time of year can be particularly challenging for those of us with emotional outsourcing ways of thinking. That’s why this week, I’m excited for you to hear a conversation from a couple of years ago that I recorded with my dear friend, Dana Monsees.  Dana is a Dietitian-Nutritionist an...

#248: In the first two episodes of our Functional Freeze series, we’ve looked at the how and why of this debilitating nervous system state, as well as real-life experiences that can lead to it. Now, it’s time to dig into the remedies. Join me on this episode to hear what you can do to reclaim your one and only precious life from functional freeze. I’m showing you where to start in working with you...

#247: Last week, we began a vital conversation about the mixed nervous system state of functional freeze: what it looks like in practice and how commonly it shows up for those of us prone to emotional outsourcing. This week in part two, we're asking the question: how did it get this way?  You'll hear multiple real-life examples from my own life and coaching work of experiences that lead to fu...

#246: This week, we’re taking a deep dive into a topic I can’t believe I haven’t already discussed on the show – the nervous system state of functional freeze. It’s part and parcel of the emotional outsourcing experience. So what does it mean and why do we find ourselves in it? Join me today to discover what the nervous system state of functional freeze entails, and why those of us with emotional...

#245: This week, I’m re-sharing one of my favorite episodes from the podcast archive all about how regret is self-abandonment. The regret cycle is one we lean on and keep choosing for understandable reasons, but it’s time to understand why and how we can drop it because the truth is regret is not the solution to the future you want. Hear why living in regret is a form of self-abandonment, and how...

#244: This week, we are reviewing one of my absolute favorite topics to geek out on: polyvagal theory. Polyvagal theory is an incredibly helpful way to better understand our lived experiences and nervous systems, which is why it’s one of the main tenets of all the work I do across my various programs. I’m sharing how polyvagal theory is an important vessel for getting to know ourselves better, why...

#243: Do you struggle to set boundaries with the people in your life? Are you prone to prioritizing everyone else’s well-being first, often not even realizing you have needs of your own? Are you in constant hyperdrive mode, striving to do more and more, only to eventually burn yourself out? Join me today to learn where overfunctioning comes from and how it manifests in our lives. I’m showing you h...

#242: Last week, we talked all about feeling our feelings somatically and the myriad of reasons doing so can help us live richer, more fulfilling lives with more connection to ourselves and our loved ones. You heard in detail why we don’t feel our feelings, and in part two today, we’re exploring the how-to of feeling your feelings somatically. Tune in this week to discover how to begin feeling you...

#241: “Feeling your feelings” is a term you may have seen all over social media, and it can be an incredibly supportive and loving thing to do. However, as we do here on Feminist Wellness, we also need to proceed with caution and care when it comes to addressing the emotions that live within us. Join me this week to discover why you may not habitually feel your feelings, the common fears that may...

#240: Offering unnecessarily exhaustive explanations is a very smart coping mechanism we develop, usually in childhood. However, while overexplaining can provide short-term relief, it also reinforces the very emotional outsourcing cycles we’re trying to escape.  Join me today to discover the common origin stories that lead to the habit of overexplaining, how it affects our nervous system, and...

#239: I’m speaking to coach, three-time best-selling author, and all-around badass Andrea Owen. Andrea helps smart, high-achieving women let go of five default behaviors that leave them feeling terrible so they can engage in better coping mechanisms around shame. She’s here to introduce us to the shame work she writes about in her book, How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t. Join us as Andrea and I explor...

#238: We tend to look for other people to be the main attraction in our lives, to save us, and to be our cake. Tune in to learn the importance of embodying your own cakefulness, and how waiting for someone else to be your cake might be the root cause of your relational pain. You’ll hear why you are the main dessert, how to let everyone else be a delightful addition, and why your whole life ca...