Feminist Wellness

#347: Have you ever wondered why you keep falling into the same patterns, even when you know better? Maybe you say yes when you really want to say no, choose emotionally unavailable partners, work until you're completely depleted, avoid conflict until you explode, or feel guilty for having basic needs. If any of these sound familiar, this week's episode is for you. Tune in this week to learn the s...

Tenderoni Hotline #1: Hello my beauty! I’m so excited to introduce a brand-new segment here on Feminist Wellness, the Tenderoni Hotline, where I answer your most tender, curious, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and the nervous system. In this episode, we’re diving into how to stop emotional outsourcing, that habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth, and...

#346: What if I told you that the reason you feel exhausted by 2:00 PM every single day isn't because you're weak or lazy, but because you've been running a full-time job you didn't even know you had? I'm talking about emotional outsourcing – the exhausting pattern of constantly monitoring everyone else's feelings, needs, and comfort levels while completely ignoring your own. You become fluent in...

Today is the day! My book, End Emotional Outsourcing , which I've poured my heart and science-nerd brain into, is officially out. But getting it into the world depends on what happens this week. This isn't about the money. It's about getting these life-changing words into the hands of someone who needs them. This book challenges the "tough-it-out" messages we're constantly fed. I've created a new...

#345: Have you ever felt like you're watching your life from the outside? Like you're going through all the right motions, saying all the right things, but somehow feel disconnected from your own experience? I get it, and I've been there: checking all the boxes, looking successful on paper, while feeling completely lost inside. This disconnection from yourself isn't a personality flaw or something...

Have you ever found yourself lying awake at 3 AM, replaying conversations and wondering if you said the wrong thing? Or maybe you're that friend who can read a room in seconds, sensing every mood shift before anyone else notices?   Here's the thing - that's not just being "super empathetic." It might be something deeper called emotional outsourcing. Your hypervigilance, your people-pleasing,...

My love, I have something really special for you today: I’m sharing Chapter One of my upcoming book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits . This chapter unpacks what emotional outsourcing really is, how it sneaks into our lives, and why it’s not your fault you’ve been carrying these patterns. You’ll hear stories from my clients, my...

Do you ever wonder why you sometimes feel an inexplicable rage towards the people you love most?  If you've ever agreed to take on more work when you're already drowning, pushed through exhaustion to help others, ignored your own needs to keep the peace, or found yourself inexplicably angry about small things, this episode is for you.  Join me this week as I teach you the mathematical fo...

Do you find yourself constantly dispensing kindness and helpfulness in exchange for validation and approval? This "good girl chokehold" is a survival strategy that rewires the brain, making you a professional people pleaser and preventing true intimacy. It's like being trapped in the world's most exhausting improv show where the only rule is "yes, and," except you never get to be anything but the...

#343: I receive beautiful messages from listeners telling me that being called "my angel" or "mi amor" transformed their entire week, maybe even the whole way they relate to themselves. Yet others write to express their discomfort. The language feels too familiar, unprofessional, even anti-feminist. This divide illuminates a crucial truth about healing: when genuine tenderness makes your skin craw...

You're lying in bed at 2 a.m., replaying that conversation from earlier where your joke fell flat or someone looked uncomfortable after you shared a story. Your brain grabs onto that moment like a dog with a bone, analyzing every word, every facial expression, every micro reaction like you're CSI social interaction. The mental hamster wheel spins: Did I say something wrong? Are they mad at me? Do...

#342: The word "codependent" is everywhere - on book covers (even mine), in therapy sessions, in conversations about relationships. But there's something fundamentally wrong with how we use this label.  If you recognize yourself in patterns of people-pleasing, emotional caretaking, or losing yourself in other people's chaos, I want you to know something important: You're not broken. You're no...

You can spot when someone's being lousy to other people from 3 miles away. You're like an emotional bloodhound who knows when your friend is lying, when your coworker is stressed, when your mom is about to lose it. But when someone hurts you, you suddenly need a jury of 12 of your peers to confirm that what just happened was actually messed up and maybe it's okay for you to be hurt. This habit of...

#341: If you've ever found yourself constantly scanning other people's faces for approval, shapeshifting to keep the peace, or feeling completely disconnected from what you actually want, this episode is for you. You might call this people-pleasing or being too sensitive, but something much more profound is going on here: you’re living with emotional outsourcing. Tune in this week as I explain how...

Your value isn't in your productivity. That uncomfortable feeling when you stop moving, stop doing, stop managing everyone else's life? That's not laziness talking. It's the voice of a nervous system that learned early on that being needed equals being safe. Your actual people want you to rest. They want you to have needs, wants, preferences. They want to take care of you sometimes too. And all of...

#340: Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I'm fine,’’ when you're actually anything but fine? Maybe you're getting everything done - crushing it at work, maintaining relationships, keeping up appearances - but feeling disconnected from it all. Like you're watching your life play out from behind a glass wall.   This isn't just you being "too in your head" or "not trying hard enough to feel....

This bonus episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin. But what if I told you that's a lie? What if I told you that the right people are starving for your r...

#339: You were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time. That's the truth that so many of us struggle to accept when we look back at our past decisions - the relationships we stayed in too long, the boundaries we didn't set, the times we said yes when we meant no.  There's this part of us that believes if we're mean enough to ourselves about these choices, we won't make them ag...

There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you. It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs. Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true, authentic, grounded...

#338: Shame is one of the most powerful forces keeping us stuck in emotional outsourcing, and we don’t talk about it nearly enough. This invisible force runs so deep that we often don't even realize it's guiding our thoughts, feelings, and actions. My book, End Emotional Outsourcing was born from my search for a shame-free, inclusive, feminist framework to name these patterns, and to begin healing...

Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing. In this book series bonus, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing , can h...

It's my birthday month, and I'm doing what any Leo Somatics nerd with a microphone and a brand new book would do. I'm giving you the gifts. If you pre-order End Emotional Outsourcing by August 18th, 2025, you're automatically entered to win a 30-minute, one-on-one coaching session with moi, not publicly available. Bring your most tangled thought habits, your most scrunched up somatics. Or, a 90-mi...

#337: Money shapes more than just our bank accounts - it touches how we show up in relationships, how we value ourselves, and whether we feel secure enough to set boundaries with those who support us financially. This week, I sit down with financial therapist and author of Feel-Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being, Aja Evans, to...

For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all t...

#336: Modern friendship isn't what it used to be. We're navigating a world where identity is more complex, where we have unlimited choice in who we befriend, and where the burden of maintaining connections falls entirely on our individual shoulders.  Friendship expert, speaker, journalist, and author of Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, Anna Goldfarb, also known a...