Feeling Griefy

The first Feeling Griefy episode of 2024! It’s about grief and change (because there’s been a lot of change for me this past year!) I talk to Patrick about how it’s been starting something very new without Mum, and why I think it made the anniversary of when she died a bit harder than normal. We also talk about why I want to start therapy again and my love of antiques and analogies (as ever there...

While this episode is called ‘Health’, it actually goes off on a lot of unexpected tangents! I tell Patrick about how I find it very difficult to go to the doctors (or dentist) without crying. This unexpected affliction has also found its way into both my attempts to give blood and we reflect on why this might be the case. I also talk about what I still really struggle with (and this bit gets a bi...

We didn’t think we’d be recording again so soon after Christmas but I also wasn’t expecting such an emotional January.  I tell Patrick about the unexpected, and tragic loss of both our beautiful family dogs. I reflect on how I’m trying to navigate these loses alongside my daily dose of Mum grief…(it turns out previous experience of grief doesn’t stop the hurt of new grief…). This was also all...

We’re back! Talking all things Christmas and Grief. Patrick asks me how it has been since we released Feeling Griefy, and I talk about what it’s felt like to share so much of my grief. I tell Patrick about my Mum’s heroic efforts to keep the magic of Christmas alive, and then share a bit too much of my medical history over Mum’s last Christmas… We also reflect on the tension of Christmas changing...

This is the final episode of this series of Feeling Griefy. It was a nice and relaxed one after the more emotional episode the week before. Patrick and I chat about the process of talking about grief together… whether there are things I wish he hadn’t asked me and if at times, I was too open about my experiences. I also ask Patrick how it was to listen to me chat away about grief, and if he feels...

This episode is about feeling griefy at work. If anything the ‘workplace’ gives the best insight into the nuances of feeling griefy and really gets into the nitty-grittiness of this experience. I talk about crying at work… and how you can’t exactly leave grief at home. What are the boundaries between work and home life and how do you manage them in your twenties? How can you casually mention that...

This episode was the most difficult to record, but it is also the one I am most proud to share. Because as well as talking about family, we talk about death. And I think we could do with a few more conversations around this mysterious, yet inevitable human experience. I tell Patrick about the week before Mum died, and how I couldn’t quite believe what was happening. I speak about the days afterwar...

Welcome to my relationship history, featuring grief… a whole decade of it. This episode is all about how the intensity of grief mixes with the intensity of relationships. Grief demands vulnerability and so do relationships and at times, this can be a tricky one to navigate. I tell Patrick about how I could prepare for a breakup in a way I didn’t prepare for my Mum dying. We discuss how I try and m...

This is the first episode we recorded. I turned up at Patricks house with some homemade flapjacks, slightly sweaty and red faced from the tube. After Patrick had made us both a cup of tea, we sat down on his sofa and started chatting. This episode is all about the mixture of grief and friendships. I was 20 when my Mum died, and in my second year of university. I remember the mixed feelings I had g...

Welcome to something I’ve been working on for a few months now, with my wonderful friend Patrick. It’s something I feel nervous to share because it’s really quite personal, but it’s also something I’m proud of. It’s an attempt to explore the minutiae of an experience I wanted to google after my Mum when I was 20 and it dawned on me that I even though I was technically ‘grieving’, I had no idea wha...