FBC Minneola

Secular - This is a story about a guy named Leroy who lived deep in the rural backwoods. Leroy decided it was finally time to leave the farm, pack up his bags, and take a job in the big city. Now, Leroy’s family was deeply religious, and they were absolutely terrified for him. They said, 'Leroy, you're…

Secular - Today’s scripture reminds me of a story about a pastor who noticed a man fast asleep in the front pew every single Sunday. Finally, the pastor got fed up. Mid-sermon, he looked right at the man’s wife sitting next to him and whispered loudly, 'Ma'am, would you please wake up your husband?'…

Secular - "Have you ever tried to assemble something without reading the instructions? Men, don't leave me hanging up here. You open the box, look at the 47 pages of instructions, and think, 'I got this.' Three hours later you've got extra screws, a crooked shelf, and somehow you've convinced yourself…

Secular - A doctor, an engineer, and a preacher were out playing a round of golf one morning. They got stuck behind a group of golfers who were playing agonizingly slow, missing simple shots, and taking forever on every hole. Frustrated, the preacher spotted the club manager and asked, "What is going…

Secular - A pastor and a deacon were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn Around Before It’s Too Late!" A driver sped by, leaned out the window, and yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious fanatics!" A moment later, the pastor and deacon heard a loud splash.…

Secular - A man was walking down the street when he saw a sign in a window: "Psychic Fair: Find Out Your Future – Cancelled Due to Unforeseen Circumstances." He thought to himself, "Well, if they didn't see that coming, I’m probably better off just sticking to Matthew 24 !" Historical/Cultural Context…

Secular - A man was walking through a cemetery and saw a tombstone that read: "Here lies a politician and an honest man." He scratched his head, looked at the grave, and said to his friend, "I didn't know they were allowed to bury two people in the same grave!" Historical/Cultural Context - This Gospel…

Secular - There was a man who wanted to buy a parrot, so he went to a local pet store. The owner showed him a beautiful parrot but warned him, "This bird used to belong to a very legalistic, grumpy old Pharisee. He has a bit of an attitude and a mean streak." The man thought he could change the bird,…

Secular - There was a man who was a bit of a skeptic, much like the Sadducees. He lived his life convinced that if he just followed the right "rules" and used enough "logic," he could avoid any unpleasant surprises—including the ones at the end of life. One day, he met a man who claimed to be 150 years…

Secular - A Sunday School teacher was teaching her class about the "Fruit of the Spirit." She wanted to see if the kids really understood the concept. She asked, "If I’m always mean to my neighbors, if I don't share my toys, and if I’m constantly grumpy, what kind of person am I?" A little boy in the…

Secular - "The Roman guards in our text today were 'battle-hardened' men. They weren't afraid of much. But when that angel showed up, they fainted. It reminds me of the guy who was walking through a cemetery late at night and fell into a freshly dug grave that was about six feet deep. He tried and tried…

Secular - A young, energetic pastor was appointed to a very old, traditional church. On his first Sunday, he noticed that during the singing of the Invitation, the entire left side of the congregation stood up, while the entire right side stayed sitting down. The two sides started glaring at each other,…

Secular - A young man was walking through town and saw a sign in a pet store window: "Religious Parrot for Sale – $500." Intrigued, he went inside. The owner pointed to a beautiful green parrot. "This bird is amazing," the owner said. "If you pull the string on his right leg, he recites the Lord's Prayer.…

Secular - A mother was pushing her double stroller through the park when an elderly woman stopped her. "Oh, what beautiful children!" the woman exclaimed. "How old are they?" The mother straightened up and said, "The Doctor is three, and the Lawyer is only six months." Historical/Cultural Context - This…

Secular - A man dies and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. Peter meets him and says, "Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to get into Heaven. You tell me what you’ve done, and I’ll tell you how many points it’s worth." The man feels pretty confident. "Well," he says, "I was married to the same…

Secular - A man was talking to God and asked, "Lord, what is a million years to you?" God said, "To me, a million years is like a second." The man asked, "And what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "To me, a million dollars is like a penny." The man thought for a moment and said, "Lord, can I have…

Secular - "A man and his wife were having a bit of a disagreement about who should make the coffee in the morning. The wife said, 'You should do it. You’re already up and moving around before I am.' The husband said, 'No, you’re the cook of the household. That’s your domain. You should handle the coffee.'…

Secular - A pastor was preaching on Matthew 18 and got particularly fired up during the third point. He leaned over the pulpit and shouted, "Is there anyone here who can honestly say they have forgiven every single person who ever 'trespassed' against them?" To his surprise, a 92-year-old man in the…

Secular - A young, ambitious man had just started his own business and rented a fancy office in downtown. He wanted to look like a "big deal," so he spent a lot of money on mahogany furniture and expensive suits. As he was sitting there, he saw a man walking toward his door. Wanting to look incredibly…

Secular - "A man was walking along a narrow mountain ridge when he accidentally slipped over the edge. Luckily, he managed to grab a sturdy branch and was hanging there, thousands of feet above the rocks below. He looked up toward heaven and yelled, 'Is anyone up there?! Help me!' Suddenly, a booming…

Secular - There was a man who had been a faithful member of his church for 50 years. He sat in the exact same spot—third pew from the front, left side—every single Sunday. It was practically his "monument." One Sunday, he arrived to find a young visitor sitting in "his" spot. The usher, sensing a crisis,…

Secular - A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what the Prophet Elijah’s last words were?" A little boy in the back stood up and said, "Go, get ‘em, Tiger!" The teacher was confused. "Where on earth did you hear that?" The boy replied, "In the Bible! It says right there: 'Elijah…

Secular - A pastor was walking down the street when he saw a group of neighborhood boys surrounding a stray dog. "What are you boys doing?" the pastor asked. One of the boys looked up and said, "We found this dog, and we all want him. So we decided that whoever tells the biggest lie gets to keep him."…

Secular - A young boy was asked by his Sunday School teacher to say the grace before the annual church potluck. The boy was nervous, looking at the massive crowd and the piles of food. He closed his eyes tight and prayed: "Lord, thank you for this food. And please, if there isn't enough to go around,…