Fat Guy Loves Cake

Let's talk about the Cowboys and how they completely flush season after season down the terlet, making me look like an asshole in front of all my friends; More terrible shirts to show how unlikeable white people can be; Man burgles house. Man learns doggy style. German style.

National Guard General finds new way to spend your tax dollars; Tennessee police station becomes the best little whorehouse in Texas, er, Tennessee; Mel Gibson ousted from New Orleans parade: manages to say nice-ish things about Jews.

I talk about comic-con and would I be able to beat up everyone there; R. Kelly please don't pee on me; I want to make an 80's mutant end of the world movie and I have the soundtrack to prove my dedication.

You may not be a slut, but you wear a slut's costume; New year, old fat: my courageous uphill battle to buy Snickers bars; A no bullshit ghost story from my childhood. (even though ghosts aren't real)

Can you believe it?! Fat Guy Loves Cake has one million subscribers! Joey splits the atom! Wins Nobel peace prize for largest things stuck in his own ass! I bought a Maserati. I'm going to the moon! 

There was a time when Glamour Shots ruled the world. Do you remember? Your hair does; Jew and half men trailer; Facts about sex you probably didn't know.

I put together some interesting facts about Christmas for you guys' entertainment. The most interesting fact about this list, is that not once do I mention putting something in someone's ass. Merry Christmas! *Coming Christmas day is the Die Hard episode! Don't miss it! fatguylovescake@yahoo.com

As it often does, tragedy comes with comedy, and our time on this earth is unfortunately short and finite. We're almost through 2022, and I want to remind everyone that as much as I hate people in general for how awful they can be to each other, I do believe in what I say when I end my show with the words "Be nice". Make the most of every moment you have. Be thoughtful of others. Be considerate of...

Cop serves shit sandwich, keeps job; No one ever told me Santa wasn't real; Trailer for "Santa's Hoes"; I absolutely fucking destroy all previous 80's bands with my own 80's music that I wrote, composed and performed; The long, awesome and weird life of Hulk Hogan Music: It's the 80's, Night Run Artist: Me. 

I interview Britney Griner, fresh off the plane and back on US soil; I discuss a man selling imaginary friends and souls on Amazon; Man sexually assaults tickle me Elmo doll (yes, seriously); Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield are selling gummi ears laced with pot; YouTuber with 14 MILLION subscribers mistakes Chinese man for being Japanese, doubles down and makes us proud to be American. Music: Bel...

I accidentally had sex with a man;  Colin and Tonya: two sports legends that took a knee; Man bangs dog, man goes to jail (Florida of course); Kanye thinks Elon is a half Chinese lab created supermodel; Offensive hand gestures from other countries. Music: Ministry Al Jourgensen: Me

I talk about Kanye some more because he keeps giving me reason to; Another delightful of "Dear Joey"

Soccer finally scores a goal I care about by giving the women's team equal pay; Kanye gives mad props to his best friend Adolf; Interview with a professional ejaculator. 

Happy Thanksgiving! I mean to talk about a lot of things, but somehow talk about the World cup for most of the time. Don't miss the new trailer for the upcoming Disney Plus Star Wars show "Benny and Luke"  HUP! Brought to you by the great nation of Canada.

I open up about my ED; Everything you ever wanted to know about sperm but were afraid to ask: 12 sperm myths debunked.

Joey Valentine takes a much needed day off to let Lafayette and Carlos host for a few minutes. Joey will be back on Wednesday. Talk of butt stuff expected to stay at an obsessively awkward level. (I mean, what is this guy's deal?)

I'M DOWN! OK, so this is not actually an episode because your man Joey Valentine is experiencing major technical difficulty and my Dell laptop has to take a little vacation to be fixed. In the meantime, think about how much your life would suck if I stopped making shows. Feel free to revisit the old ones until I get back, hopefull no longer than a week. Love you all!

I ain't sayin she's a gold digger...I go on an entire episode rant about the insane antics of Kanye West, and the trail of absurdity he has left in his wake. 

I go down the awesome list of people who have loved me and supported me and thank them; I then turn around and insult everyone in the world for bad grammar and misuse of simple words on the internet; I also attack people who need attention on the internet; And finally, a to-do list if you ever go to a baseball game. Alcoholism is a very serious and dangerous problem. Quitting without medical help...

Crocs are not cool. Ever. OK?; Ask me about my testicles; I examine a 17 minute porno movie involving the world's most talkative man.

I retell the harrowing tale of how I and my fat body conquered the steel industry and destroyed an office chair; Also, I wander into madness talking about movie believability, Angela Lansbury, and Con-Air. Just good old-fashioned jibber jabber.

I'm really not gay, but I really do have an obsession; Halloween costume ideas leads to a very gross internet search and I make it gay(er); Your mother told you never leave your house with dirty underwear on. Your mother, not mine; A second English lesson that America clearly needs. 

Fat Guy progress report number 2; No matter what the subject I spiral into talking about butt sex. There is no punchline. I'm concerned; Going against my own values, I decide to let a certain group of people have it. 

Fat Guy progress report; I make a confession to Carlos and hope my music will heal his gay heart; If aliens exist, they're playing with our butts for fun; Old people get a free pass; Don't stop believing (remix) Produced by Jenchilada and Nutso fatguylovescake@yahoo.com for free merch or for show suggestions

I had a full weekend, so take what you can get; Sir Valentine and his quest to slay the mighty V; I got nothing, so here's a new music track.