Every Number One Ever

A turbulent time is afoot here at ENOE Towers. Join us for another episode in which one of our intrepid heroes meets his most hated nemesis, and the other two of then mock mercilessly. Is this the end of light hearted banter and camaraderie? Or will Matt's years of therapy finally pay off as he offers a hand of forgiveness to the offending musical artiste? You'll have to listen to find out.

As we trundle our way to the end of January, we're faced with personal dilemmas, and infinitely falling standards here at ENOE Towers. Will tripe sneak in via the back door? Or will the baby be thrown out with the bathwater? And other mixed metaphors to boot!

Splits appear. Liam touts for a new podcast whether you like it or not. We relearn the alphabet. A sprinkle of Eurovision is immediately brushed off and a warning that this episode contains far too much Dane Bowers chat for anyone’s liking. All this and Craig gets stung by some randomly chosen television. It makes you dream of spring months doesn’t it. Oh, and apologies to Taylor Swift. Sorry.

Just exactly what AM I supposed to write in these things without giving away too much of what songs we get or how we vote or just how happy Craig is at being the odd one out (you know he loves being the contrarian really)? Well this week you'll just have to listen. No hints will be given. No sir... nope... (we might talk about Little Mix)

It would be strange if the random hands we were dealt didn't occasionally have some coincidental weirdness, would it? In that spirit we dive into a very odd pod indeed with us opening the door a crack to shed light on one of the strangest beefs in grime history, plus we get our hands very dirty with some of pop's weakest offerings.

Lets see if we can agree on ANYTHING this week shall we? I severely doubt it. But at least we're gathering more data for the next stats attack (whenever that happens) to find out just how out of step Craig is with the other two. So many more to come in 2024!

This is how we should start the new year! This is what this podcast is all about. Some killers, some fillers, some dead fish, and some forgotten gems. Yes! Onwards to 2024 my darlings, let us go forth and F up the year.

After last weeks uproar, hopefully episode 59 might see is dealing with some topics that inspire less ire? Alas, this may not be the case with some of the ditchwater that we've been burdened with secreted liberally across the current history of number numbers. Oh, and its the xmas episode. Not that you'd know it. We've got far more important things to do than celebrate xmas!

All bets are off this episode. We are presented with songs that should be obvious keepers and obvious binners but it appears we have entered bizarro world this week. Is there something in the air? Probably whip-its given our ridiculous behaviour (note: ENOE does not condone the use of nitrous oxide).

Just to make sure things are a little varied. Matt speaks reason interspersed with occasional outbursts of rage, Liam gets on his high horse, and Craig offers yet another contrary opinion... Oh that's our usual mode of operation isn't it. Ah well, here's episode 57! Enjoy.

Of all the various rabbit holes to go down, you elected to go down this one. As did we when we learn about the health history of one of our countries most (in)famous pop stars. Plus the usual nonsense as we seel the fate of another 9 tracks.

Urinary incontinence is no laughing matter. Or perhaps it is. Depends if you ask one of the songstresses of the week that grace our show. Whilst this week isn't scraping the barrel, we're certainly uncovering some of the odder moments in pop history. Have a listen... if you dare.

The second appearance of a big hitter, some random 'also ran' singles from bigger bands, and perhaps the greatest pun I have ever come up with. And we delve into the potted and insulting history of one of the 00s pop... well not 'greats' but certainly they... existed.

Some episodes will fly by in a haze of vague agreement or approval. Sometimes one will feel entirely vindicated that justice has been served. Others we will look back at the end of this pod and question what on earth the prevailing logic was. The other thing it will do is provide reasonable grounds for when we get the lawyers involved.

We have completed a FULL year of this nonsense and we're still cracking on. Just like a runaway train, or the government facilitated decline of the NHS, or Suella Braverman's cruelty to anyone from outside of Kent, we're showing no sign of stopping! 9 more of the best (and additional gristle) for our reviewing pleasure.

A bumper long episode for this episode! Why? Because it is front loaded with stats! Yes STATS! It's a joyous stats attack for you to kick off this episode. But after that we give popular music a good old shake and see what 9 songs fall out. Join us won't you?

We have managed to do 50 full episodes! Thats 9 times 50 songs... maths! This train shows no sign of stopping so lets get cracking headed towards our centenary!

The penultimate episode before our Gold anniversary. Will it be fraternal harmony or trouble and strife? Hopefully the first song of the episode gives you some idea of the direction of travel. Cryptic? You bet your arse but you're dying to know now aren't you?

Hard decisions to make are... hard. This week is no exception to the hardness. In fact, the hardiness (or hardidity) is off the charts. The thing we'd really like to know is if the correct decisions were made? Should we have sacrificed them all to the eternal fires? Or should we have kept them all like those creepy hoarder blokes with the corridors of newspapers? You decide!

Opinions abound in the latest flush of material from the sonic bowels of ENOE towers. Will the pelvis be given a fair hearing? Will an 80s power ballad be saved from the waves a la Kirsty Young? Most importantly, will a charity single be given its due? Whatever that may be.

Frankly, this is the sort of pod we hope for. Some absolute twaddle, some super famous numbers, and some stuff that perhaps was better left forgotten... Plus the first (and maybe only) appearance of Bazz and Jeff.

Just like banana's, we've got 'em. Big ones (oo er), small ones (bless), one's as big as your head. But in our case we're talking about number one singles! Dunno what you were thinking there... filth.

I'd managed to entirely erase this recording from my memory. I have zero recollection of participating in this frippery. If I did so it was under duress. I take no responsibility for my actions. YOU CANT PROVE ANYTHING!!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet... But would a podcast about pop music be as ridiculous is it weren't ENOE? No! Of course not! Shove this in your ears then and stop moaning! Bill Shakes agrees!

42 episodes in and its... yep... another episode where we slander 9 pieces of the pop music canon for your delectation. Did we make the right calls this week? Probably not.