ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

Ha continuato a ricadere finché non ha cercato qualcosa di diverso. Sono un ubriacone di bassa lega. Ho avuto una dipendenza attiva per quasi quarant'anni. Sono stato finalmente trascinato nel programma quattordici anni fa. Ora sono sobrio da due anni e tre mesi. Fate voi i conti.

Eravamo alla nostra riunione, guidata da uno del nostro gruppo. Durante un momento di silenzio, abbiamo sentito uno scricchiolio. Non sapevamo da dove venisse. Poi un altro e un altro ancora. Lentamente, uno dei partecipanti è finito sul pavimento. Una delle gambe della sua sedia in plastica si era rotta ed era finito per terra. Eravamo tutti sorpresi e siamo scoppiati a ridere. “Rilassati” gli ho...

La lussuria è sempre stata parte di me, molto prima che ne conoscessi il nome. Mi aveva reclamato come parte di lei nell'oscurità che sarebbe diventata la mia sessodipendenza, una prigione grande come un universo creata da me. La mia malattia è stata silenziosamente progressiva. Qualcuno potrebbe obiettare che non ho toccato il fondo, poiché la mia vita non è mai stata completamente sconvolta dall...

L'abandon véritable ne consiste pas seulement à demander de l'aide, mais aussi à s'offrir au plan de Dieu. Dans le cadre du Programme, j'ai appris à demander de l'aide à Dieu. "Aide-moi à être sobre ! Aide-moi à me détourner de la luxure ! Aide-moi à capituler ! Aide-moi ! Aide-moi ! Aide-moi !" Alors que je renforce ce muscle - ce qui nécessite parfois un acte de confiance totale - je change égal...

Je m'appelle Steve et je suis un sexolique en voie de rétablissement. Grâce à la grâce de Dieu, au parrainage et au Programme, je suis sobre depuis le 20 août 2013. Je n'ai pas eu de relations sexuelles avec moi-même ou avec quelqu'un d'autre que mon épouse depuis plus de 11 ans. J'ai également connu une victoire progressive sur la luxure.

Il a continué à rechuter jusqu'à ce qu'il change ce qu'il recherchait. Je suis un dépendant extrême. J'ai été dans la dépendance active pendant près de quarante ans. J'ai finalement été entraîné dans le Programme il y a quatorze ans. Aujourd'hui, je suis sobre depuis deux ans et trois mois. Faites le calcul.

Nous étions en réunion, animée par un membre local. Pendant un moment de silence, nous avons entendu un craquement. Nous ne savions pas d'où venait ce bruit. Un autre craquement a suivi, puis un autre.

L'abandon à Dieu m'a conduit au miracle de la vraie sobriété. Bonjour, je m'appelle Amr R. et je viens d'Égypte. À l'âge de 10 ans, j'ai commencé à me toucher, mais j'ai arrêté parce que ma mère m'a dit que j'irais en enfer si je faisais cela. J'ai découvert la pornographie à l'âge de 18 ans et je suis rapidement devenu dépendant, incapable d'arrêter de me masturber ne serait-ce qu'une semaine. J'...

A Step Toward Healing at the Bogotá Conference On December 14–15, 2024, Bogotá, Colombia hosted SA members under the inspiring slogan: “Recovering Together, Men and Women in SA.” The event brought together 39 participants—31 men and 8 women—united in their journey of recovery.

A Fun Take on the Business of Local Meetings If you’ve attended any business meetings at your local home group, you know they can be pretty dull and uninteresting as a few restless addicts monotonously dot all the I’s, cross all the T’s, and measure out the red tape. Sometimes, this can be downright annoying and frustrating as members debate unimportant nuances of every motion or haggle over wheth...

How lightheartedness and a little perspective can turn self-pity into self-awareness. A few days ago, one of my friends came up to me with good news. “I have a boyfriend!” she said. I was so happy for her. Then it struck me—I was (and still am) the only single girl among my various groups of friends.

Hi, I’m Eugene K., a sexaholic. I’m 22 years old and came to SA in September 2024. When I saw the theme about Rule 62 (don’t take yourself too seriously), it reminded me of how I found my SA sponsor. Back when I was new, I had my eye on this one guy I thought would be a great sponsor. He’d been in the newcomers’ breakout meeting, and I thought, “This is the guy.” A few meetings later, I finally de...

Seeing My Part Without Taking Blame Step Four was eye-opening for me. It was also hard to look at, written on paper, what I had done and who I was. I just didn’t want to be that person anymore. I hadn’t really considered or wanted to look at myself like this. I had spent so much time focusing on what everyone else had done wrong to me. That’s all I had been able to see for a very long time.

Overcoming Addiction and Betrayal to Rebuild Love, Trust, and Purpose.   When I attended my first SA meeting in May 2021, I was totally immersed in lust and had already lost almost everything. The problem began when my father abandoned us. My mother had to go out to work, leaving me alone with my little brother. Then, my mother married an alcoholic and violent man, twice her age, but with a good j...

Higher Power’s guidance in both struggle and service. Step into Action (p. 67) tells us that “There are many good ways to do a Fourth Step inventory.” It recommends listing and describing our resentments, fears, and the selfish nature of our sexual behavior, but it also mentions identifying our positive attributes and recognizing what “God would have us be.” This can also be found in our personal...

How the Steps, Higher Power, and the Fellowship helped this member find his path to recovery, one day at a time. Tonight, a tragic plane crash dominates every news network. The world is in shock. Why? Because plane crashes are rare—they don’t happen often, so when they do, it’s overwhelming.

Finding Strength in Higher Power and Self-Discovery My name is Aaron M., and I’m a lust addict. One of the biggest parts of self-discovery in my recovery is the vast gulf that exists between who I am when I’m practicing sobriety and who I am when I’m in active addiction. They’re almost (but not quite!) two different people, with their own personalities and motivations. My sober self goes completel...

True surrender isn’t just asking for help—it’s offering ourselves to God’s plan. In the Program, I’ve been building the muscle of asking God for help. “Help me be sober! Help me turn away from lust! Help me surrender! Help me! Help me! Help me!” As I strengthen this muscle—which sometimes requires an act of complete reliance—I’m also shifting my perspective to a gentler way.

Making recovery artwork helps my own recovery. This piece represents the journey of recovery as described in the Big Book. The figure in the center symbolizes a recovered individual with his own unique light and color. As each recovered member crosses through the gate of freedom, he carries his own colorful light, contributing to the collective glow of our souls.

Even when cut off from the world, you’re never cut off from recovery. A few years ago, I wrote an article about my experience sponsoring incarcerated fellows by mail. How different it is now to be one of them! As if I needed further proof that I’m just another “bozo on the bus”! 

How a sponsor changed my life All my life I went to church, served others, and believed in a higher power.  I am married with seven children. However, I lived a secret life of pornography addiction for 27 years. I had a lot of trauma I did not know how to deal with after being abused as a child several times by four different men while growing up. My pornography use eventually led to a crime that...

Dear ESSAY, Thank you again for the contributions of this magazine to our fellowship. It is very important! So many of our members look forward to the next issue.  During the months that I spend in West Africa every year in fellowship with SA members, we download and distribute the current issue of the ESSAY. We don't have many hard copies of the White Book since the international mail and local m

True surrender isn’t just asking for help—it’s offering ourselves to God’s plan. In the Program, I’ve been building the muscle of asking God for help. “Help me be sober! Help me turn away from lust! Help me surrender! Help me! Help me! Help me!” As I strengthen this muscle—which sometimes requires an act of complete reliance—I’m also shifting my perspective to a gentler way.

Courage isn’t fighting lust—it’s surrendering it to God. My name is Steve, and I’m a recovering sexaholic. By God’s grace, sponsorship, and the Program, I’ve been sober since August 20, 2013. I haven’t had sex with myself or with anyone other than my spouse for over 11 years. I’ve also experienced some progressive victory over lust.

He kept relapsing until he changed what he was looking for. I’m a low-bottom drunk. I was in active addiction for almost forty years. I was finally dragged into the Program fourteen years ago. Now, I’ve been sober for two years and three months. You do the math.