Es Lo Que Es

Send a text The ELQE crew talks about pirate ships and the places they would love to explore. Kevin walks the plank and tells us about the most important job on a naval vessel. Colleen channels her inner survivalist and dreams about rainforest exploration. Intern Renee reminds us that the alien from the Predator movies might be the freakiest creature around. Producer Carlos might need to see a the...

Send a text E050 Haters Day Parade #2 The ELQE crew remembers that they're a bunch of haters who get annoyed by everything. Kevin is prepared to unleash unholy violence on people who fart in his vicinity. Colleen merges aggressively into traffic in order to teach the slow drivers a lesson. Producer Carlos regrets buying an ugly suit that's been sitting in his closet for 8 years. Intern R...

Send a text The ELQE crew whets their appetites talking about the best meals of their lives.  Kevin recounts the time he and Carlos were invited into a sushi restaurant by a ghost. Colleen thinks about the Guatemalan dishes her grandma made like salpicon and jocón. Intern Renee thinks back on her time in DC and hungers for the pork and lychee salad from Rose’s Luxury. Producer Carlos reminisces on...

Send a text The ELQE crew gets anxious over fliying. Kevin hates air travel soo much that he would rather be drugged, kidnapped, and delivered to his destination. Colleen comes up with a brilliant idea to revolutionize travel but realizes bullet trains already exist. Intern Renee believes that no one has ever actually fucked in an airplane bathroom mid-air. Producer Carlos is always looking for th...

Send a text The ELQE crew calls their biggest fan. Special guest, Stretch, tells us about the struggles of his early 20s and how the ELQE podcast has helped him. Kevin shares the story of how he first met Stretch and unintentionally changed his life. Colleen is constantly in fight-or-flight mode and needs thunderstorm ASMR to go to bed. Intern Renee admits that she only gets 4 hours of sleep per n...

Send a text The ELQE crew takes a deep dive into their obsessions. Kevin literally gave us a 2-hour drunk history rendition of the Bakumatsu period of Japan. Colleen loves trash tv, specifically the incestuous lives of Appalachian Mountain families. Intern Renee falls under the cliché of older hispanic moms by collecting small animal figurines. Producer Carlos only gets to talk about Gundam and an...

Send a text The ELQE crew calls their siblings in the hopes of embarrassing stories.  Kevin tries drive a wedge between the Blanco sisters. Colleen solidifies her reputation as a clothes thief who doesn't wear deodorant. Intern Renee shows us how she raised her brother like a prince. Producer Carlos realizes that his crippling mental health is the product of his sisters dropping him on his he...

Send a text The ELQE crew gets caught at the Etiwanda Preserve. Kevin is the right kind of white boy to keep you out of trouble. Colleen, on the other hand, gets caught red-handed a little too often. Producer Carlos is detained for throwing it down in public. Intern Renee is a perfect angel... and devil's advocate.  

Send a text The ELQE crew blazes it and celebrates 420. Kevin was the absolute safest high driver of all time. Colleen was that girl that would smoke before work and then hyperfixate on everything. Intern Renee sets the vibes by enjoying a nice blunt followed by couple episodes of Sailor Moon. Producer Carlos gets nostalgic about melting into the couch and dying laughing while watching Chappelle&a...

Send a text The ELQE crew talks about road trip rules.  Kevin does not allow messy snacks in his car but demands that his right-seater feed him chicken nuggets. Colleen will take naps and steal your snacks, proving she is a true passenger princess. Producer Carlos will kick you out of the car if your playlist is whack or if your wear too much perfume. Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7...

Send a text The ELQE crew contemplates their survival on a deserted island. Kevin has a very specific fantasy involving Bear Grylls and his survival knife. Colleen needs some strong wood to fuel her fire if you know what we mean. Producer Carlos plans to be the best chef on this deserted island. Intern Renee needs all the underwear she can get.   Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @cora...

Send a text The ELQE crew remembers the hottest teachers from their formative years. Kevin gave his 2nd grade teacher a Vietnam PTSD flashback. Colleen never got into a real schoolyard fight and thats why she beats up Carlos. Intern Renne will fight both her sisters on PPV in the first ever ELQE UFC Fight Night. Producer Carlos had a pornstar teaching AP Biology and a coach talking about hentai. F...

Send a text The ELQE crew talks about giving up substances and behaviors.  Kevin lives up to his hipster roots and claims he could give up anything...except music. Colleen takes her coffee seriously, you should buy her an iced black americano with 6 shots. Producer Carlos needs caffeine soo much that he's already had a redbull induced heart attack. Intern Renee thinks she could take heroin an...

Send a text The ELQE crew discusses unreal work situations. Kevin crushes his job interviews with one line. Colleen proves that any word can be a verb. Producer Carlos is just a jolly trolly man making wishes come true. Intern Renee continues to be plagued by paranormal activities... are her fears really irrational?  Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @corazondemelonn666 @fivesss @calif...

Send a text The ELQE crew talks about first crushes. Kevin was inspired to be a writer by the first pretty blonde that talked to him. Colleen announces her new dating show that is totally not a copy of The Bachelorette. Intern Renee reminds us to swipe left on the super attractive men on Tinder. Producer Carlos  just wants to berate handsome men on national television. Follow us on Instagram! @esl...

Send a text The ELQE crew celebrates President's Day by ranking the hotness of our founding fathers.  Kevin ignores the prompt and instead ranks them based on which one he would marry. Colleen says she needs a big boy like Ulysses S. Grant to keep her warm at night. Intern Renee says f**k Andrew Jackson and his ugly face. Producer Carlos respects a man with a skin care routine like Alexander...

Send a text The ELQE crew is feeling the love this Valentine's Day as they discuss the songs they want played at their weddings. Kevin is gonna take a page out of Adam Sandlers book. Colleen will finally become a mob wife with her 60's style wedding. Intern Renee is likely to start making out with her groom mid ceremony. Producer Carlos steals the crown of King of Chaos away from Kevin....

Send a text The ELQE Crew cannot stand thick, viscous liquids. Kevin dreams of being a snail. Colleen has an aversion to just about every texture known to man. Producer Carlos is THE egg slut. Intern Renee suspiciously knows too much about Limp Bizkit.  Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @corazondemelonn666 @fivesss @californiareneesin

Send a text The ELQE crew talks about their favorite smells and their plans for the upcoming zombie apocalypse. Kevin wonders about the relationship between being brestfed as a kid and love of pancakes as an adult. Colleen would start a cult while stepping on men with her platform boots. Intern Renee takes the easy way out and unalives herself at the first sign of trouble. Producer Carlos hopes th...

Send a text The ELQE crew reminisces about Tumblr’s golden era and discusses unconventional hotties with returning guests Michelle and Pilar. Making out, dry humping, and mole licking. Pick your poison. Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @corazondemelonn666 @fivesss @californiareneesin

Send a text Colleen and Carlos battle it out, tamale style. Renee reveals her freak nasty secret talent. Kevin finds a way to make us all cry. Join us for a more emotional episode where we discuss navigating this beautiful game we call life.   Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @corazondemelonn666 @fivesss @californiareneesin

Send a text The ELQE crew reflects on 2022 while welcoming the new year. Kevin explores his spirituality…and sexuality? Colleen is headed straight to the E.T. landfill. Producer Carlos continues plotting his revenge against every slight that has befallen him. Intern Renee wants to know what you’re doing with your fourth hand. Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @corazondemelonn666 @fives...

Send a text E028 Holiday Movies The ELQE crew feels the holiday spirit as they discuss their favorite holiday movies. Kevin dreams of fucking Cold Miser because it reminds him of Jesse Eisenberg. Colleen runs some meticulous quality control on her lady bits. Intern Renee romanticizes a holiday in Bruges. Producer Carlos feels the rhythm while rewatching Cool Runnings. Follow us on Instagram! @eslo...

Send a text The ELQE crew pretends to be cultured by discussing different Christmas traditions from around the world. Kevin takes us to Japan for a bucket of KFC chicken. Colleen shows us the burning devil piñatas of Guatemala. Intern Renee gets spicy with stories of Krampus from Germany. Producer Carlos gets curious about China's version of Santa who plays a saxophone and sleeps with your mo...

Send a text The ELQE crew recounts hoe stories and kinks. Kevin, the Ghost of Hoes Past, kink shames Colleen with good reason. Returning guests, Michelle and Pilar, discuss getting a little dirty in the shower. Producer Carlos and Intern Renee quietly listen and jot down information in their blackmail journals. Follow us on Instagram! @esloqueespod @theal7 @corazondemelonn666 @fivesss @californiar...