Erotic Reclamation

Personal improvement is a beautiful goal, but the impulse sometimes comes from a painful place within. It might feel like "I'm broken," or "everyone else has this figured out," or "if I just learn this one more thing, I'll finally feel okay." This becomes perfectionism, people-pleasing, hypervigilance, or the exhausting cycle of self-improvement that never quite makes you feel like you’ve graduate...

There's often a gap between "I want to have sex" and actually being ready for it. You've been at work, with the kids, managing logistics, living in your head — and now you're supposed to just... switch into sexy mode? Most people either skip the warmup entirely or go through the motions of what they think foreplay is supposed to look like. Neither one works very well. Good foreplay is the bridge b...

Theoretically, the idea of sex sounds great. You're into them, you’re not too tired, it sounds like a fun time. But at the exact same time, your body is tensing, stalling, freezing, clamming up. This yes/no mismatch is so common, but we almost never talk about it. Instead, we generally either push through and perform, or shut down entirely. But there's a third option: learning to be honest about w...

Welcome to the intentional, delicious, warm and fuzzy bridge between intimacy and the rest of your life. Aftercare isn’t just a BDSM thing, it’s a common answer to the question why we can end up feeling empty or dropped or vulnerable after sex… even when the sex was good. In this episode, we break down aftercare into pieces that make it digestible for any couple, and any person (because yes, there...

This one is for the HSPs, empaths, energetic erotic blueprints, and anyone who feels things they don’t understand… In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on a form of intimacy that doesn’t require touch, nudity, or even proximity. We share how energy shows up in our bodies, our relationships, and our sex lives — from involuntary shivers to full-body ecstasy just because of how our partner...

What’s actually going on when your partner says “I don’t feel wanted” and you’re thinking “but I text you every day”? In this episode, we dig into the unspoken assumptions that quietly erode intimacy: the projections from past relationships, the vague desires we expect our partners to decode, and the stories we tell ourselves about what their “no” means about us. We walk through what it actually l...

You’re curled up in bed with your romantasy, your romance novel, your erotica. Your partner is next to you, but you hardly notice. The heat coming off the pages is taking all your attention. But what is it, exactly, that makes these novels so irresistible, and is any of it actually available to you in real life? Yes. ALL of it. In this episode, we break down the recurring elements that make romant...

What does good Dominance actually look like? In this episode we’re getting into the subtle skills: reading a body in real time, making split-second decisions when a scene doesn’t go as planned, and knowing how to press on someone’s tenderest spots without leaving them worse than you found them. Because while Dominance may look like control, for many Dom(me)s it is actually about freeing something...

Chatrooms, sex bots, and AI porn are hot, but can they actually satisfy without your body in the mix? In this episode, we wade into the murky, squirmy territory of sexual technology, holding space for both the gifts (safety, access, exploration after trauma) and the shadow sides (dissociation, escalating intensity, sex without care). From early experiences in chat rooms (where anonymity can provid...

Slowing down the practice of desire doesn’t mean more waiting. It means more juiciness, more insight, and more intimacy, with yourself and another. In this episode, we introduce our five-stage desire framework: feeling/sensing, articulating, claiming, negotiating, and giving/receiving. We explore how lingering in the space between wanting and having opens up to realizing what we’re really craving,...

So you crave to be a submissive… but what are you actually submitting to? In this episode, we unpack layers of devotion: to a partner, to life, to the divine, and perhaps most importantly, to your own choice and desire. We explore how submission isn’t a single act but an ongoing practice of returning to your body, the present moment, and to the decision you made to surrender. The conversation also...

What does submission actually feel like? Not in the fantasy-land of your imagination, but in your body? In this episode, we dive deep into the raw, sometimes contradictory experience of being a submissive: the exquisite freedom, the moments of resistance, the shadow sides that can hijack the whole thing. We get into: * Why these powerful, capable women love to submit: the exhilaration of submissio...

Submission is one of those things that lives in the cultural imagination: it’s whispered about, fantasized over, but rarely discussed honestly by the people actually living it. In this episode, we share what submission and surrender mean to us. Because in our lives, it’s not role play or a performance, it’s an integrated part of our relationships and identities. Nicholette talks about her 24/7 Dom...

Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice. We’re Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, relationship coaches, kink priestesses, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it. Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at BDSM workshops and play parties. We focus on:...